Buzz
Master scammers have a unique talent for making others believe the unbelievable. This makes it incredibly difficult to tell if the person you're dating is one of them, whether you've just started chatting online or have gone on a few dates. Fortunately, there are some clues that can reveal if your partner isn't who they seem to be, and we'll share the red flags that indicate you might be dealing with a fraudster. Remember, if you eventually discover you're dating a con artist, don't blame yourself. Professional liars are experts at deceiving others, and if you've encountered one, it's not your fault.
Steps
Their story doesn't add up.
If they tell you something that sounds far-fetched, you have every right to be suspicious. Whether it's an elaborate tale or a series of small details about their life, if you notice inconsistencies, there's likely an issue. A single unexplained detail might not be alarming, but if their life story seems too good to be true, it probably is.
- They might share an extraordinary story about how they entered their profession or became extravagantly wealthy.
- If you've been dating for a while, pay attention to their body language and tone when you ask about their background. If you sense they're lying, trust your gut.
- If they contacted you online but not through a dating site, ask why. They should have a specific and reasonable explanation.
- If their dating profile describes them as a 21-year-old millionaire who sails around the world every summer, they're likely a scammer.
They avoid sharing personal details.
Some scammers are reluctant to reveal anything about themselves. While some fabricate elaborate backstories, others remain tight-lipped to avoid weaving lies. If the person you're chatting with refuses to share where they grew up, their profession, or how they make a living, it's a strong sign they might be deceiving you.
- This is less concerning if you've just started talking online. It's understandable if someone on Tinder isn't ready to share personal details early on.
- However, they might still be open to discussing their job, education, or hobbies in their free time!
Their descriptions sound too good to be true.
The chances of dating an international spy or a Bitcoin millionaire are extremely slim. If they promise you the world, flaunt wealth, or constantly talk about taking you to Paris, they might be scamming you. Scammers often build hope and impress by saying things you want to believe. But don't trust them without proof.
- If they always boast about how perfect their life is and never seem to have a bad day, it's a sign they're being dishonest.
- If their dating profile describes them as a successful entrepreneur, a famous artist, or something similar, try searching for them online. There should be news or information somewhere to verify their claims.
You've never been to their place.
They might only visit your place or insist on meeting elsewhere. Scammers often hide their real lives. If you've been dating for a while and they've never invited you to their home, they're likely hiding something. This is especially suspicious if they claim to be wealthy, as they would likely want to show off their luxurious home.
- If you met online, they might refuse to meet in person or claim they can't due to working on an oil rig or military base.
They boast about money you never see.
Scammers often pretend to be wealthy, so look for signs that suggest otherwise. They may act confident, stable, or successful to gain trust. However, if there's no tangible evidence of their wealth, they're likely lying.
- Don't be fooled by flashy clothes or jewelry. Counterfeit items can look very real these days.
- If their luxury car is always “under maintenance” or their mansion is “under renovation” indefinitely, be wary.
- Don't trust anyone who claims to be wealthy online without verifying it through other means. Anyone can type that they're rich or post photoshopped images of themselves in expensive cars.
They dress extravagantly and are extremely charming.
Con artists often appear sophisticated and alluring. Have you never met anyone as handsome or beautiful as them? Do they always wear glamorous outfits? Scammers know that a polished, wealthy, and impressive appearance makes it easier to deceive. Almost everyone wears casual clothes sometimes, so be cautious if they're always impeccably dressed.
- When chatting with someone online, try reverse-searching their photos to see if they appear elsewhere. Online romance scammers often use other people's images.
They are always (or never) available.
Everyone has their own commitments, but no one is always or never available. If they respond instantly or are ready to meet you at any time, they might be lying about their daily activities—especially if they claim to have a job. The opposite is also true; if they disappear for days or weeks, they might not be as invested in the relationship as they say.
- Think about your daily life. You’re likely busy with work or studies, but when you have free time, you still reach out to friends and family, right? If the person you’re dating doesn’t do this, it’s a sign they might not have a normal routine.
- Pay attention to their online responses. If they claim to live in your area but never respond when you’re awake, they might be lying about their time zone.
There’s always an “emergency” that prevents them from showing up.
A scammer might cancel major events or dates due to sudden emergencies. If you have plans with them but they frequently cancel at the last minute, it’s a big red flag. They might blame it on a medical emergency, family drama, or work issues. They might even ask to borrow money after canceling. This is a major sign they’re deceiving you.
- If you’re dating someone online, they might plan to meet you in person but cancel last minute due to an “emergency.” If this happens more than once, be extremely cautious.
They demand your private information.
No boyfriend or girlfriend should ever need your social media passwords. If they insist on knowing information that could be used to impersonate you, access your bank account, or borrow money in your name, beware! Never share personal details. Unless you’ve been in a serious, in-person relationship for months, they should never ask for things like your mother’s maiden name.
- Don’t give them any information that could be used to fill out job applications, open bank accounts, or apply for credit cards.
- If they demand to share or link any accounts with you, this is a major red flag.
- If the relationship started online and they send you a suspicious link, they might be trying to scam you for your information. This type of online scam tricks people into clicking harmful links to lock their computers or steal data.
They’re overly curious about you.
If it feels like they’re digging for unnecessary information, be cautious. Questions like “What are you up to?” or “How are you?” are normal for couples. But they shouldn’t ask things like “Do you have a lot of savings?” without a good reason. If it seems like they’re snooping or fishing for details, they probably are. Don’t answer such questions.
- If you haven’t been talking long, they shouldn’t be prying. Think about the kinds of questions people usually ask while getting to know each other. If they go too far, you have reason to be suspicious.
Their name is extremely common (or overly romantic).
While it may seem minor, this is a big red flag if you met them online. Yes, there are many people named Tuấn Anh or Phương Mai, but scammers often choose such names because they’re hard to trace online. Another tactic is using overly romantic names like Mộc Miên or Lâm Vũ.
- Try searching their name online to see what comes up. Add “+location” to your search (replace “location” with their city or province). If you can’t find any trace of them outside social media, they might be lying about who they really are.
They evoke extreme emotions in you.
If you feel overly excited or genuinely scared when talking to them, be cautious. Scammers manipulate others by playing with their emotions, so if you’re experiencing unusual feelings, it’s a red flag. Trust your instincts. If it feels like they’re toying with you, making you feel bad about yourself, or pressuring you to act to avoid losing them, you might be dating a scammer.
- A healthy relationship should make you happy, but be wary if you feel too happy too soon, as that’s also a sign something’s off.
- For example, one moment they’re talking about their dream wedding, and your heart melts, making you envision a future with them.
- The next moment, they might mention a long trip away, leaving you feeling anxious or jealous.
You’ve been scammed before.
If you’re naturally trusting, you might be a target for scammers. These individuals often prey on those who are easily deceived. If you’ve been scammed in the past or know you’re a soft-hearted person who’s always willing to help others, be extra careful. It might not be a coincidence that this person entered your life.
- Don’t blame yourself if you realize you’ve been scammed. These con artists are experts at what they do, and it’s not your fault if someone took advantage of you.
Warning
- Never send money to anyone through electronic transfer services. If you’ve been scammed, the chances of recovering your funds are extremely slim.
