How to Draw the Right People Towards You

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Ngày cập nhật gần nhất: 15/3/2026

Content

Leveraging Body Language

Understanding What To Say

Building Attractive Character Traits

Be Charismatic with this Expert Series

Master the art of getting people to want to connect with you

Everyone craves acceptance. By forging deeper connections with others, you can leave lasting impressions that lead to exciting new personal and professional relationships. Drawing people to you can unlock a world of networking and relationship-building opportunities. To do so, focus on using positive body language, saying the right things, and developing engaging personality traits that make people feel special and at ease with you.

Body language: Flash a smile, stand tall, and maintain eye contact to signal approachability.
Conversation: Offer greetings, ask thoughtful questions, remember names, and always be polite and respectful.
Personal traits: Nurture appealing qualities like optimism, confidence, and excellent listening skills.

Steps

Leveraging Body Language

Visualize every person you meet as an old friend. Think of someone you deeply care about, someone you've known for a long time, and imagine that person when you're meeting a new acquaintance. This mental trick can help relax your body and facial expressions, making you appear more open and approachable. For example, your eyebrows will soften, and a smile will come easily. Moreover, pretending to like someone can make it easier to genuinely enjoy their company.

Present a well-groomed appearance. Pay attention to how you look in front of others. Brush your hair, trim facial hair, and make sure to wash your face and neck before entering any social setting. If you'd like, apply a little natural makeup for first impressions. Choose clothing that suits your figure but avoid flashy, revealing, or inappropriate choices (don’t wear a suit to a casual gathering or jeans to a formal event).

Offer a smile. Smiling can uplift your mood and make you seem more approachable, encouraging others to engage with you. However, don’t smile immediately upon meeting someone. First, pause to observe their face when greeting them, then smile genuinely, letting your eyes reflect that warmth. This makes them feel like your smile is directed solely at them.

Establish eye contact. When you look someone in the eyes, it signals that you are interested in connecting and are approachable. If you're engaged with someone, occasionally glance at them, no matter who's speaking, to show you're paying attention to their reactions. During conversations, maintain eye contact for as long as feels comfortable.

One trick is to imagine your eyes are stuck to theirs with sticky taffy. Don't break eye contact until a few moments after they stop talking, then slowly look away, as if stretching the taffy between you until it snaps.
Another technique is to count how many times the other person blinks while you converse.
Be mindful that some people might feel uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact. If you sense the other person becoming uneasy or nervous, break eye contact more often.

Angle your body toward the other person. People notice how you act toward them. When meeting someone new, position your body fully toward them so that you face them directly. This gesture signals to the other person that you consider them important and special.

Avoid fidgeting. Excessive movement or frequent hand gestures near your face can give the impression that you are either disinterested or eager to end the conversation. It can even make you appear untrustworthy. Build credibility by maintaining eye contact throughout the conversation and avoiding fidgeting, twitching, wiggling, squirming, hair-twirling, or scratching.

Maintain good posture. A straight yet comfortable posture exudes confidence. Keep your head held high, shoulders back, and step lightly. Move with poise and self-assurance, and sit with your back straight. Avoid staring at your feet, making your back stiff, or slouching.

One helpful trick is to imagine a leather bit hanging from the ceiling or doorway. Pretend to gently bite it. This can keep a natural smile on your face, encourage upright posture, and make your steps feel light.

Observe body language cues. Not only should you use body language that draws people to you, but it's also important to read others’ signals. By interpreting facial expressions, posture, and other cues, you can gauge how others are feeling and respond accordingly. People may show signs of engagement, boredom, disagreement, or even interest in flirting, and recognizing these signals will guide your next steps.

Look for a genuine smile. When someone smiles sincerely, the corners of their eyes crinkle and their cheeks lift along with their mouth.
Notice where their feet are pointing. If their feet are directed toward you, they are likely enjoying your company. If their feet are angled away, they may be ready to leave.
If their torso is facing you, it can indicate engagement, but if their body turns away, they may be defensive or disengaged.
Fidgeting or crossing arms or legs often signals that a person is anxious, bored, or uncomfortable.

Initiate contact. Move closer to gauge the other person's reaction. If they seem tense or uneasy, create some space between you. If they appear more at ease or even encourage the closeness, gently touch their arm to build positive energy.

Understanding What To Say

Greet the person. Always begin with a friendly greeting, even a simple “hello” is effective in most situations. This opens the door for communication and sets a positive tone for the interaction. If the other person hasn't noticed you yet, this will put you on their radar.

Introduce yourself by name and ask for theirs if they haven’t already shared it.
Follow up with a warm, “So nice to meet you” or a similar phrase that shows you’re happy to be talking to them.

Ask questions. A key element in connecting with new people is showing genuine interest in them, as people love talking about themselves. By being genuinely curious, they may remember you and want to connect again. Ask about their interests, hobbies, or goals. Open-ended questions are the most effective as they encourage the other person to share more.

Start with a compliment, like commenting on their outfit or praising something they did, like speaking at an event. For example, “I loved your shoes” or “I really enjoyed your speech...”
At a party or gathering, ask, “How do you know the host?”
Break the ice with questions like, “What’s your favorite music?” or “What movies have you enjoyed recently?”
Identify common ground by saying, “It seems we’re both into wine/art/fashion. What’s your favorite?”

Remember names. Remembering someone’s name shows you’re truly interested in them. After hearing their name, repeat it to yourself, then associate it with a memory or mnemonic, like rhyming or alliteration, to help it stick.

For instance, “Joe, Joe from So-Co” can help you recall their name with ease later on.

Avoid certain topics. Negative conversations tend to push people away. Avoid complaining, insulting others, gossiping, or using sarcasm. Steer clear of sensitive or controversial subjects, such as money, religion, or health, as they can make you seem superficial or uncomfortable to others.

Be polite and respectful. Showing a bit more formality and respect can earn you positive attention. Use polite terms like “sir” or “ma’am” for older individuals or superiors, and always be sure to say, “thank you” and “you're welcome” in conversations.

Be open, honest and helpful. These qualities are vital in any relationship, especially in a professional setting where information is sometimes kept under wraps. If you don’t have all the answers, offer to find out and let the person know you’re actively seeking the information for them. This shows a willingness to assist and is a great way to foster trust.

Use phrases like, "Here's what's going on,” “How can I assist?” or "Let me get the details for you."
Offering help creates goodwill and fosters gratitude. If you can contribute to someone else’s success, take the opportunity. Your proactive, supportive attitude will not go unnoticed and will attract more like-minded people.
Don't hesitate to acknowledge your areas for growth. People appreciate those who can admit their shortcomings and ask for help when needed. A little humility can go a long way in building rapport and trust.

Offer words of encouragement. Support and validation can inspire others to work harder and accomplish more. By offering encouraging words, you can make a significant positive impact. A phrase like, "I believe in you," can be incredibly reassuring and is likely to boost your likability.

Talk more. People tend to gravitate toward those who aren’t afraid to fill the quiet moments. When there’s silence in a conversation, it often leads to uncertainty about how the other person feels. By speaking up and sharing your thoughts, you help reduce that uncertainty and make others feel more comfortable.

If you’re unsure what to say, share some good news. Be the person with the positive perspective and a good story to tell. This could range from global or national positive news, to updates about a company or organization, or even personal milestones like the birth of a child.
Prepare a few funny or intriguing anecdotes to help break the ice. These can also come in handy when you need to fill any awkward silences.
Reader Poll: We surveyed 2223 Mytour readers on the best strategy for changing the topic during a conversation, and only 10% preferred using a conversation starter. [Take Poll] Instead, it's more effective to allow the conversation to naturally flow from what has already been discussed.

EXPERT TIP

John Keegan

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Simple observations can have a significant impact during a conversation. For instance, you might comment on their outfit, point out an interesting feature of the environment, or pose a unique question. These types of remarks demonstrate authentic interest and can help make the conversation flow smoothly!

Exit the conversation after making a positive impression. When it’s time to end, politely excuse yourself and repeat the person’s name to leave them with a warm feeling about the interaction. The goal is to leave them wanting more—whether that’s another conversation or curiosity about something you shared. Make your exit smoothly by asking for their contact information before shifting focus to another task or conversation.

For instance, you might say, “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, John.”
Some relationship experts suggest delaying the physical side of a romantic relationship. Doing so can enhance attraction, allowing both people to get to know each other better first.

Building Attractive Character Traits

Be positive. Make a conscious effort to foster positive emotions, thoughts, and conversations. People are naturally drawn to others who make them feel good. Strive to be optimistic and embrace an upbeat perspective, so that your positivity spreads to everyone around you.

Concentrate on the bigger picture rather than the individual challenges you face. Broaden your interests beyond personal struggles. Everyone appreciates someone who can put aside their own worries, lighten up, and engage with what others have to say.
Express gratitude for the people, events, and experiences in your life. Let that gratitude infuse your conversations and show the other person that you’re genuinely happy to meet them. Keeping a daily gratitude journal can help you maintain a positive mindset before and after meeting new people.
When negative or critical thoughts about yourself or others arise, replace them with two positive observations about the person or yourself.
Maintain a positive body posture, standing tall with your back straight, shoulders back, and chin up. This confident posture during interactions reinforces your positive attitude and strengthens your sense of well-being.

Cultivate confidence. Confidence impacts more than just your body language—it influences your relationships, self-esteem, and ability to persuade others. It’s important to recognize your worth, your talents, and the unique skills you bring to the table that others may need or desire.

Speak clearly when you have something to say, and do so with confidence. Avoid ending your statements with a questioning tone or using uncertain phrases like "I think".
Affirm yourself daily. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I like you.” When you appreciate yourself, others will too.
Celebrate your successes and focus on finding solutions instead of dwelling on problems.

Be energetic. Your energy and enthusiasm can be contagious, drawing people in with your positive, can-do attitude. When you exude confidence and excitement, people will naturally want to be around you to tap into your charisma and discover the source of your vibrant energy. Embrace your passions, whether they’re related to a hobby, project, or person.

Good rest is key to maintaining energy. Try to establish a consistent bedtime, avoid alcohol and heavy meals before sleep, and keep the lights off.
Start your day with water and a healthy breakfast.
Expose yourself to natural light or take a short walk outside for 15-30 minutes to increase your energy levels. Being in nature can boost your energy by 20 percent.
Limit your intake of caffeine and energy drinks.

Don’t be pushy. No one enjoys being around someone who forces their opinions, beliefs, or preferences onto others. Instead, be adaptable and open to different personalities and situations. When people see that you are easy-going and receptive, they’ll find it much easier to get along with you.

Be funny. Laughter creates a strong connection between people. People are naturally drawn to those who can make them laugh or who approach life and conversation with a light-hearted attitude. If humor isn’t your strong suit, try to find the funny side of things. Sharing a laugh naturally builds rapport and makes people feel at ease.

Be a good listener. Listening is one of the best ways to connect with others. Always pause after speaking, make eye contact, and wait for the other person to respond. When they speak, nod in agreement, and make sounds that show you are engaged. Active listening demonstrates genuine interest, and paraphrasing or asking follow-up questions shows that you are truly paying attention.

Follow up. Reaching out again after an interaction shows that you are genuinely interested and reinforces the fact that you were paying attention during your conversation. You can refer back to something they mentioned and tie it to a personal experience that reminds you of them. For example, you might pass by a café with outdoor seating and remember that they enjoy coffee outdoors, then use that moment to suggest meeting there again.

You can follow up in person, through a note, a call, or via email.
If possible, make a note of important dates in the person’s life, like their birthday or anniversary, and send a thoughtful card or gesture on those occasions.

Put yourself in dynamic situations. This is often referred to as ‘putting yourself out there.’ Whether you’re looking to meet new people, network, or explore new opportunities, stepping into unfamiliar environments regularly can help you feel more comfortable socially. It also opens doors for you to connect with different types of individuals.

When attending social events, try to keep your group small. Being surrounded by only one or two people will prevent you from appearing closed off to others who may want to approach you. Large groups tend to create an insular vibe, signaling to others that you’re not looking for new connections outside your circle.