Buzz
Are people ignoring your words and failing to take you seriously? Maybe you joke around too much, or you made an error that others can't seem to forget. Whatever the cause, earning the respect of others is essential for success. Learn how to be viewed as credible by asserting yourself, gaining respect, and avoiding past mistakes.
Process
Being Assertive
Maintain eye contact during conversations. Doing so conveys to others that you're genuinely focused on what you're discussing and that you're engaged. Not only does this signal your attention, but it also facilitates a stronger connection. By locking eyes, you can interpret their reactions, adjust the tone of your words, and keep the conversation on track accordingly.
Speak with clarity. Express your thoughts confidently with a steady voice. Avoid mumbling or speaking too fast or slow. Don't seek validation from others; just speak your truth with conviction.
- Consider the "slow talk" method. Give yourself a second between words to speak more deliberately, making sure to pronounce every syllable clearly.
Exhibit confident body language. When conversing, stand tall, with your arms and legs uncrossed. This posture conveys authority and openness, signaling confidence and respect from others.
Only speak when you have something meaningful to contribute. Avoid interrupting with irrelevant jokes or off-topic remarks. If you have valuable insight, share it. Adding unnecessary comments can make people less likely to take you seriously.
- For example, if a group is discussing climate change and you recently saw a documentary on the topic, share your knowledge. But if you're unfamiliar with the subject, it's better to listen quietly.
Keep your composure. When engaged in a disagreement, remain calm and speak in a measured tone. Avoid getting too emotional, as it may give the impression that you're not thinking clearly. Take deep breaths to regain your focus. If you're on the verge of becoming upset, take a brief break to cool down.
Own your actions. Your actions often speak louder than words. If your credibility has suffered due to inconsistency, take ownership of your behavior. Instead of pointing fingers, embrace responsibility and seek opportunities to prove your maturity. Volunteering for extra work without expecting rewards will demonstrate your seriousness.
- Take tangible steps to show you’re committed. For instance, if others doubt your financial responsibility, start managing your budget with a detailed spreadsheet.
- At work, offer to assist your boss with a new project, presenting ideas or research to improve it. Always look for ways to increase efficiency or solve problems that others might overlook.
- At home, help out more by taking on additional household chores.
Gaining Respect
Be punctual. Demonstrate that you’re serious by showing up five to ten minutes early for meetings or appointments. This reflects your respect for both your own time and the time of others.
- This rule applies mostly in professional environments. For casual social gatherings like parties, a slight delay is usually acceptable.
Stay informed. Keep up with current events on a local, national, and global scale. Don't just follow pop culture—stay aware of the political landscape and other topics that directly affect you. Being informed will provide you with meaningful conversation starters.
- Install news apps on your phone and dedicate 15 minutes each morning to read articles. You can also sign up for breaking news alerts.
Be prepared for assignments and projects. When given a task at work or school, commit to doing it thoroughly. Research and put in the effort to deliver your best work. If there's a presentation, rehearse it multiple times until you feel confident. This shows that you take your responsibilities seriously.
- For example, if you have an upcoming presentation, create a clear PowerPoint. Include visuals or graphs, ensure there are no spelling errors, and practice your delivery in front of a mirror.
Dress appropriately. Make sure your appearance is neat and clean by showering and wearing well-maintained clothes. You don’t need to dress like you're heading to a board meeting (unless that's where you're going), but always aim to look polished.
- Iron your clothes the night before so you’re not rushing in the morning.
- Choose your outfits strategically to influence how others perceive you.
Build a strong reputation. To be respected, avoid behaviors that might cause others to lose respect for you. Steer clear of public intoxication, illegal activities, and other poor choices. Instead, focus on positive actions like volunteering.
- Be cautious of your social media posts. Avoid content that glamorizes drugs, violence, or any negative behavior.
Honor your commitments. When you promise to do something, make sure you follow through. If you become known for making empty promises, others will lose trust in you and not take you seriously.
- For example, if you tell a colleague you'll pick them up for work the next morning, set a reminder and wake up early to keep your word.
Be honest. If you lie frequently, people will stop believing you. Trust is built on truthfulness. Always tell the truth, even when it’s tough. People will respect you for your honesty and authenticity.
- For instance, if you don't know something, be honest and say, "I'm not sure, but I’ll find out."
Speak out when necessary. If you disagree with someone or witness inappropriate behavior, stand up for what’s right. Do so with respect and kindness. This shows that you have principles and are willing to advocate for what’s fair.
- For example, if your boss suggests paying a new female colleague less than her male counterparts, speak up and let him know that equal pay for equal work is essential.
Steering Clear of Negative Habits
Refrain from speaking ill of others. Even if your friends or colleagues are gossiping, don't engage in it. Either change the topic or excuse yourself from the conversation. This demonstrates that you value your principles.
- If your coworkers start badmouthing your boss, shift the conversation by saying, "Did anyone catch last night's Game of Thrones? That episode was amazing!"
Keep personal matters private. Especially at work, avoid sharing sensitive details of your private life. Keep topics like relationships and personal issues to yourself. It's fine to mention you have a partner, but steer clear of airing personal conflicts. Instead, focus on work-related topics or lighthearted conversations, like discussing TV shows or music.
Don’t make jokes about everything. While humor is great when the moment calls for it, if you’re constantly cracking jokes, it will be hard for others to take you seriously. Recognize when humor is appropriate, but be serious most of the time, particularly in professional settings.
- Jokes can be a coping mechanism, but excessive use may come across as insincere.
Steer clear of exaggeration. Hyperbole, or exaggerating for effect, can lead people to doubt your credibility. For example, calling something "huge" when it’s simply large diminishes the impact of your words. Overuse of hyperbole makes people think you are always exaggerating, and they won’t believe you.
- Be as truthful as possible. If you didn’t get much sleep, don’t claim you didn’t sleep at all—stick to the facts.
Stay focused while at work. Avoid texting or using your phone for personal calls when you're on the job. Doing so will make people think you're not doing your work. Concentrate on the task at hand, and take brief breaks when needed to stay productive.
Touch up in private. People who focus too much on their looks may not be taken seriously. Avoid doing things like applying makeup or adjusting your hair in public places. Instead, save these activities for the restroom. Don’t constantly check your reflection or take selfies every chance you get.
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Be clear and sincere with your words.
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Put yourself in another person’s shoes and think about how they might perceive you.
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Consider your choices before acting on them.
This advice comes from the personal experiences of Mytour readers, just like you. If you have a valuable tip to share with the Mytour community, please submit it in the space below.
- If you disagree with someone, try using “I…” statements to express your thoughts. This approach is more likely to encourage a constructive conversation. For example: "I feel that I'm not being respected. This hurts me, and I would really appreciate it if my feelings were acknowledged."
