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Have you ever said to yourself, “That’s it! I’m done with relationships forever”? You’re definitely not alone in that thought. Whether you've just come out of a relationship or have been single for some time, sometimes it feels like you'll never find a partner again. The good news is that happiness doesn’t rely on having a relationship! There are so many ways to accept your singlehood and focus on yourself.
Here are 11 steps to not just accept being single, but to truly enjoy it.
Steps
Engage in activities that bring you joy.
Your happiness should come first, even before your relationship status. Fill your time with hobbies and passions that make you feel fulfilled. Instead of imagining how much happier you might be with a partner, think about how much freedom and fun you can experience as a single person.
- For instance, if you love playing tabletop games with friends, dive right in! If building model planes or practicing yoga brings you joy, go for it. Make your happiness your priority.
Explore a new hobby.
Take on something you've always dreamed of trying. If you're feeling a bit stuck or perhaps not enjoying your usual pastimes as much, don’t worry! There's always room for new experiences. Whether you'll absolutely love it or just find it interesting, you'll never know until you give it a go. Switching things up is a great way to keep life fresh, and you might even discover a passion that lasts a lifetime.
- If you've always wanted to try boxing, go skydiving, or climb a mountain, now’s the time! There's nothing (and no one) holding you back.
- You could also try learning a new language or exploring different cooking styles, like Italian or Mexican cuisine.
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What new activity are you most excited to dive into?
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Take the QuizExplore More QuizzesConsider fostering a pet or volunteering if you're feeling lonely.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to experience meaningful connections. If being single makes you feel down or as if you'll always be alone, don't let those thoughts take over. Think about adopting or fostering a pet for companionship, or explore volunteer opportunities in your community to give back and make a positive impact on others. Both can bring a sense of joy and fulfillment.
- Fostering a pet is an excellent way to see if you enjoy having one. You might even fall in love with your furry friend and decide to adopt them!
- Search for local volunteer opportunities, such as food pantries, or national organizations like Habitat for Humanity.
Visit a new destination or revisit a favorite place.
Enjoy discovering new places around you. Book a flight to explore a city or country you’ve always dreamed of visiting. Take a road trip to a nearby town or return to a city you haven't been to in years. Go somewhere that excites you or a place that brings you peace and comfort. The freedom is yours—take full advantage of it!
- If you’ve always wanted to see the Grand Canyon or travel to Paris, now is the perfect time. Embrace the opportunity while you’re single!
- You don’t need to go far, though. If there’s a burger joint you love in the next city, take the time to go and indulge yourself.
Prioritize quality self-care.
Eat nutritious foods, stay active, and ensure you get enough sleep. Look after both your physical and mental well-being, and you may find that being single doesn’t bother you as much. Follow a balanced diet that includes lean proteins, healthy fats, whole grains, and plenty of fresh vegetables. Incorporate some form of exercise into your routine each day. Aim to get at least 7 hours of restful sleep each night.
- Exercise doesn’t need to be intense if you’re just starting out. A nice walk or a gentle bike ride is enough to get you moving.
- One of the best benefits of taking care of yourself is that you’ll start feeling (and looking) better in no time!
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What self-care goal are you most excited to pursue?
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Take the QuizExplore More QuizzesStay connected with your loved ones.
Keep in contact with those who matter to you. Being single doesn’t mean you lack meaningful relationships in your life. Spend quality time with your friends and family, and deepen those connections. You might discover that platonic relationships bring you more happiness and fulfillment than even a romantic one.
- Call your family or visit them every so often to stay connected.
- Go out with your friends and have a great time! Catch a movie, enjoy a meal at a restaurant, grab drinks at a bar, or just relax and binge-watch your favorite shows together.
Transform negative thoughts into positive ones.
Remember that your thoughts aren’t always accurate. When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, take a moment to really question it. Reflect on why you might feel that way and whether it's true. Replace those negative thoughts with positive affirmations, and you may find that being single doesn’t bother you as much. With time, you’ll get better at recognizing negative thoughts before they take hold.
- For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll be alone forever,” reframe it positively, like, “Being single gives me the freedom to focus on myself and pursue my passions.”
- It’s easy to accept negative thoughts without questioning them, but challenging them can help shift your perspective.
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What approach would help you maintain a positive mindset?
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Start QuizBrowse More QuizzesUnderstand your identity and the principles you believe in.
Knowing your core values can provide a clear sense of purpose. Being single gives you the perfect chance to reflect on who you are and what you truly want in life. Use this time to think about the changes you’d like to make, the skills you’d like to develop, the experiences you’d like to have, or the mindset you’d like to cultivate. Having clarity about your goals will make it easier to figure out how to achieve them.
- For example, if you dream of starting your own design business, focus on gaining the necessary skills, understanding the process, and saving up the funds to bring it to life.
- It’s also okay to recognize areas you want to improve about yourself. With determination, you can work toward becoming the person you aspire to be.
Focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
Personal development can bring you its own kind of fulfillment. Being single allows you to focus solely on your own growth without the responsibility of considering someone else's needs. You have the freedom to dedicate yourself to your passions and goals. Rather than fixating on finding a partner, channel that energy into achieving your dreams. You may find that the pursuit of your aspirations keeps you so engaged that thoughts of a relationship take a back seat.
- For example, if you aim to get fit, you could join a gym, sign up for fitness classes, and commit to a balanced diet to help you reach your goal.
Share your feelings with your friends who are in relationships.
Opening up can help them better understand your perspective. It’s not uncommon to experience what’s known as “ambiguous grief” when you desire a romantic relationship but don’t have one. This feeling can resemble the loss of someone close to you. If certain behaviors from your coupled friends make you feel uneasy or sad, it’s important to talk to them. Express how their actions might be affecting you, and they’ll likely be more considerate in the future.
- For example, if a friend discusses their arguments with their partner and expects you to take sides, only to reconcile with their partner the next day, it might make you uncomfortable. Sharing your feelings with them can help them understand your discomfort.
Be open to going on dates, but don’t idealize them.
Putting too much pressure on yourself or your date can make things uncomfortable. While you’re not obligated to seek a new relationship, if the opportunity to date someone comes up, take the time to evaluate how you truly feel. If you’re interested, give it a chance! But remember to keep your expectations grounded and avoid ignoring any red flags or signs that the relationship might not be the right fit for you.
- It’s perfectly fine to enjoy a dinner date with someone you’re interested in. Just be cautious about considering them as a long-term partner until you’ve spent more time getting to know each other.
Consider spending some quality time dating yourself instead.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and care you’d expect from others. Want to visit a museum or dine at a fancy restaurant? You don’t need a date to do that—go on your own! Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers or grab tickets to a concert you’ve been wanting to see. Embrace the joy of your own company.
- There’s no need for a special occasion—if you feel like doing something enjoyable, go ahead and do it!
What steps can you take to feel more comfortable being by yourself?
Share your thoughts in the discussion...
I've entered my #singleera recently, and while it feels good to be on my own and casually date after jumping from one relationship to another, it's definitely challenging! I do miss the companionship of a couple. But I know some people who truly enjoy being single, and I’d love to hear from them! For those of you who are thriving in your single life, what advice do you have? What makes you love it?
Amy Chan
Relationship Coach
Relationship Coach
One of the greatest things about being single is the opportunity to reinvent yourself. After a breakup, you have a fresh start—a blank canvas on which you can create the life and love you desire, now armed with new insights and experiences. The freedom that comes with being single is exhilarating—you can pursue your own desires, without the obligations of another person’s needs. You can explore different relationships, discover what you enjoy, and learn what qualities you're looking for in a partner. The best part is that being single allows you to focus on self-love, personal growth, and your own happiness. You have the time, space, and energy to become the best version of yourself.
There’s a unique peace in being single, as you don’t have to consider the needs or feelings of another person.
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Join the Discussion-
If you aim to have a healthy relationship someday, it’s much easier to welcome it when you’re already content with your life. So, focus on your own happiness first and foremost!
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If you’re feeling really down about being single, it might help to speak with a therapist or counselor. They can offer strategies and guidance to help you build your confidence and improve your mindset.
Be Cautious
- Avoid succumbing to social pressures to rush into a relationship just to have a partner. Doing so might push you toward unhealthy and toxic relationships, which can be incredibly damaging.
