How to Encourage a Kiss from Him

Be attractive. Out of respect for your wishes (and fear of rejection), men often hesitate to initiate a kiss unless they are absolutely sure you want it. If you truly desire this first kiss, make him feel comfortable and confident. Flirt with him, laugh heartily at his jokes, smile more, and compliment him. When he feels more at ease and knows you enjoy his company, he will gather the courage to kiss you.

Break the touch barrier. Gently touch his arm or shoulder while talking. Just a quick, seemingly accidental touch, and don't be too shy. Holding hands is a great way to cross the touch boundary. A few simple touches can enhance intimacy between you two. Occasionally, when he breaks the touch barrier and you feel comfortable, touch him back. However, you don't always have to wait for him to initiate; generally, you can take the lead.

Look at his lips. If you want to kiss while you're together, gaze into his eyes and then shift your glance to his lips. Take a quick peek, maintain eye contact, and then smile shyly. Don’t overthink it—a brief glance is better than staring at his lips while talking. Most guys will pick up on the hint. If it doesn’t work the first time, try again when the moment feels right.

Draw attention to your lips. Highlighting your lips subtly signals that you want to be kissed. Focus on body language rather than worrying about lipstick or gloss.

• Touch your lips. Gently run your fingers over them or play with your lower lip. In moderation, this can signal your interest. Overdoing it, however, might make you seem unnatural or even awkward.
• Bite your lower lip. Again, keep it light and playful. A gentle bite can draw his attention to your lips and make them appear naturally fuller and redder without makeup, which can be enticing without the worry of smudging.
• Lick your lips. Avoid doing it mechanically. Instead, slowly glide your tongue across your lips while maintaining a flirtatious gaze. However, this is tricky to pull off, so use it sparingly. A subtle lick followed by a shy bite can be irresistible. Overdoing it, though, can make you seem overly eager or awkward.

Linger a little longer. When he drops you off after a date, don’t rush out. If you’re in a car, stay seated for a few extra seconds. Unbuckle your seatbelt and look at him expectantly. Starting a conversation might feel awkward, but it can spark the idea of a kiss in his mind. However, if the conversation becomes too engaging, it might leave no room for a kiss.

If he walks you to your door, play with your keys for a moment. This is a common signal girls use to hint at a goodnight kiss. Glance up once or twice to give him the opportunity to make a move.

Move closer. You need to be close enough for him to kiss you. The smaller the gap, the easier it is for him to lean in. When the moment feels right, bring your face closer to his and gaze at him affectionately. If you’re feeling bold, close the distance as if you’re about to kiss him.

• Start this during or after a hug. Hold him close and intimately (avoid patting his back or one-armed hugs, as these can seem distant). Before pulling away, tilt your head slightly upward. This gives him the chance to kiss you. If it doesn’t happen, simply relax your arms or give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Talk about it. If he’s not picking up on your hints, bring up the topic of kissing in your conversation. If you’re watching a movie together and a kissing scene comes on, say something like, "That’s so romantic!" or something that might nudge him. Alternatively, share a story about your first kiss or a funny anecdote about a bad kiss you’ve had. This might give him the confidence to make a move.

• If he’s extremely shy, just tell him directly that you’d like to be kissed.

Kiss him. There’s no rule stating that men must always make the first move. In fact, some guys—especially those who’ve never kissed a girl—might not pick up on the signals you’re sending. If you want to kiss him, go ahead and take the initiative.

• Stay present. You can’t kiss well if your mind is wandering elsewhere. While kissing, avoid overthinking questions like, "What is he/she thinking?" or "Do I look good tonight?" Also, don’t let pride or other distracting thoughts take over. Instead, focus on how your lips feel against theirs.
• A great way to break the touch barrier is to "compare hand sizes," then smile and briefly interlace your fingers with his. This is a cute and subtle way to initiate contact. If he seems receptive, try holding his hand.
• One way to get him closer is to pretend you’re cold and shiver slightly. If he doesn’t catch on, rub your hands together and your arms to draw his attention. If he still doesn’t pull you closer, you’ll have a valid reason to snuggle up to him.
• If he’s talking a lot and quickly, he might be nervous about how to kiss you. In this case, tell him, "You’re talking too much," with a meaningful look, then smile, place a finger on his lips, and softly shush him. This will likely steer his thoughts toward a kiss.
• If you’re wearing lip balm, apply some and ask if he’d like some too. If he agrees, help him apply it and smile. This can subtly plant the idea of a kiss in his mind. Or, if you’re feeling bold, you could even apply it with the kiss you’ve been hoping for! (For this, stick to clear, unscented balm.)
• Men often hesitate to cross boundaries because they’re unsure if they’ve read the signals correctly. To make things easier for both of you, be direct about what you want without beating around the bush. Wrap your arms around his waist and say, "Kiss me," or something similar.
• Avoid crossing your arms. Closed body language can make him more hesitant to express affection.
• Before meeting him, take care of your lips so they’re kiss-ready. Soft, smooth, and plump lips are inviting, so avoid dryness or cracking. Exfoliate with a sugar, lemon, and honey mixture, and moisturize with lip balm.

• If you’re wearing lip gloss, tinted balm, or lipstick, he might hesitate to kiss you for fear of getting it on his lips (especially in public or around others).
• Telling a guy he talks too much can be misinterpreted. If he’s simply chatty or trying to connect with you, he might feel offended, thinking you’re uninterested in what he’s saying. Use this approach carefully.
• If the kiss doesn’t go as expected (perhaps awkwardly due to his inexperience), give him subtle feedback. When he does something you like, let him know. A soft moan, a tighter hug, or melting into his arms can signal that he’s on the right track.
• Don’t be too disappointed if the kiss doesn’t happen. He might not be ready, or he might not feel the same way about you.
• Be aware that touch barriers are culturally influenced. In some cultures, such as in certain Islamic traditions, touching others can be taboo and lead to serious consequences. Proceed with caution.