Buzz
Discover the ideal moments, attire, and creative ideas for your next coffee shop date.
You’ve made it this far and secured the date, but now the real challenge begins: planning the date. Consider the classic coffee date—it’s budget-friendly, laid-back, and full of potential. If all goes well, it could lead to something amazing. However, before diving into a caffeine-fueled encounter, there are some things to keep in mind. We’ll walk you through the benefits and drawbacks of a coffee date, how to prepare, and tips for making it a success. Just don’t forget some gum to freshen up your breath before that romantic moment.
Essential Tips to Know
- Coffee dates are fantastic because they’re affordable and provide a great opportunity for conversation.
- However, they can sometimes be too noisy to connect with your date or feel too formal for a relaxed romantic vibe.
- Pick a local, popular café, show up on time, and dress in a way that says, 'I look good, and if the chemistry’s right, I’ll look even better.'
- Offer to buy the drinks, ask your date plenty of questions, and if things are going well, suggest heading to a nearby park or museum for a change of scenery.
How to Plan the Perfect Coffee Date
Benefits of a Coffee Date
Coffee shops are accessible and convenient. Meeting in a public spot for a first date helps you avoid any uncomfortable situations. Coffee shops are inherently public, ensuring that both people are on their best behavior. Plus, these cafés are nearly everywhere—whether in cities, towns, or small villages, making them an easy and safe choice for your date.
A coffee date is budget-friendly and low-pressure. You won’t be spending a fortune on an extravagant meal at your local café (unless, of course, the café is unexpectedly upscale). A few dollars for a cup of coffee or tea is a small price to pay for the potential of a new romance, and it’s a risk-free option if the connection doesn’t blossom.
Coffee dates encourage genuine conversation. There are no distractions on a coffee date, and that’s exactly what makes it great. You and your date can truly get to know one another without any interruptions—save the activities like mini-golf or bowling for later.
The energizing effects of coffee enhance your charm. This isn’t just about love—it’s backed by science. The caffeine in your coffee boosts your energy and alertness, allowing you to be your best self. And when you're present and attentive, you naturally become more attractive.
You can truly get to know the other person without the influence of alcohol. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol isn’t always the best ally in dating. In environments like bars or restaurants where drinks are flowing, things can get a little chaotic. Additionally, starting a relationship on the basis of intoxication isn’t a bet we’d recommend taking.
You can easily exit if needed. If your date starts rambling on about a TV show you have zero interest in, you’re not stuck for hours. A simple, “Oh no, I’ve got a meeting in 10 minutes,” is a smooth way to exit. Here’s hoping the next date is a better match!
Drawbacks of a Coffee Date
Cafes can be crowded and noisy. If you happen to hit the coffee shop during peak hours (early mornings or lunch), finding a seat could be a challenge. And even if you do manage to grab a spot, you’ll likely find yourself straining to hear over the din of other conversations and the clinking of mugs.
- To avoid the chaos, try visiting a coffee shop in mid-morning or the afternoon, when it’s less crowded.
It might start feeling more like an interview than a date. You know what else involves sitting across from someone and exchanging endless questions? A business meeting. There’s nothing less romantic than a job interview.
- To prevent this from becoming a formal sit-down, try sitting at a diagonal across the table instead of directly face-to-face.
A coffee date may not be the most romantic choice. It’s warm and inviting, and we’re big fans of the coffee date, don’t get us wrong, but some people may not see it as magical. They might prefer something like a boat ride on a lazy river or wandering through a field of tulips. We can’t deny that there are other, more dazzling date options out there.
You’ll get coffee breath. It’s simply a part of the deal. Coffee brings a fresh start, but it also leaves you with that earthy aftertaste. If you’re hoping for a kiss by the end of the date, be sure to bring some gum or a disposable toothbrush.
- Combat coffee breath by drinking water or opting for tea instead.
Coffee isn’t for everyone. Yes, these people do exist, and we must respect their choice to live without coffee. If you’ve chosen the coffee date route, make sure the café also offers tea, sodas, or any other beverage options for those who don’t share your love for a dark roast.
How to Plan a Coffee Date
Make sure it’s clear that it’s a romantic date. Just because two people meet for coffee doesn’t automatically mean it’s a date. It could just as easily be a platonic hangout, a business discussion, or a random shared table at a crowded café. Let your date know you’re seeking romance, not just a casual chat.
- Send a message like, “Just to clarify, this is a date, right?”
- Or try saying, “For the record, you’re single, right? How would you feel about changing that?”
Choose a nearby café and check it out first. Ideally, the café should be conveniently located for both of you, so no one has to go too far out of their way. If you haven't visited the café yet, make sure to swing by the day before. That way, you won’t be caught off guard by a less-than-ideal spot, like a shabby hole-in-the-wall when you were expecting a cute corner café.
Dress casually but neatly. Of course, wear what makes you feel good when picking out your first date outfit. However, this isn’t the time for formal wear—leave the tux or fancy dress at home. A nice sweater and jeans should do the trick, or something along those lines. The goal is to look nice but casual, signaling, “I’m put together, but let’s see if you can impress me enough to step it up next time.”
Keep your date around an hour. If things go well, you might end up chatting for much longer, but as a general rule, plan for about an hour. That gives you enough time to gauge the connection and decide if it’s worth pursuing further. And if it’s not the best match? Well, it’s just one hour out of your day.
Coffee Date Etiquette
Be on time. Even better, aim to arrive 10-15 minutes early. Nobody likes being kept waiting, and showing up late can make a bad impression. Plus, you’ll need time to order your drink and wait for it before you can truly dive into conversation.
- While you wait for your date to arrive, take a moment to relax and settle in. If you’re calm and comfortable, it’ll help your date feel the same way.
Pick a table where you can sit diagonally from each other. Sitting at the bar might put you uncomfortably close, and it can be awkward with your bodies turned away from each other. On the flip side, sitting directly across from one another can feel overly formal, and not everyone enjoys intense eye contact. Opt for a table that has good lighting to highlight both of you, and sit catty-corner for a relaxed, easy-going conversation.
Show respect to the baristas. The way someone treats service staff reveals a lot about their true character. If your order isn’t perfect, stay calm and polite. Observe how your date interacts with the baristas as well. If they’re rude, it might be time to end the date early.
- Be sure to tip generously—20% is the minimum.
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 181 Mytour readers about what personality trait they find most attractive, and 51% said kindness. [Take Poll] Being genuinely kind can make a big impact, so let your date see how warm-hearted you are!
Offer to pick up the tab. Make a move to pay for the drinks, regardless of gender. Offering to cover the bill shows that you’re thoughtful as well as attractive. However, don’t push it if your date declines—after all, it’s the gesture that counts.
- To really impress your date, arrive early, find out what they drink beforehand, and have it waiting for them when they arrive.
Switch off your phone. Seriously, turn off your phone! The point of this date is to connect, not to scroll through social media. If you must check your phone, do it discreetly—leave it on vibrate and excuse yourself to the restroom if you absolutely need to look at it.
Ask engaging questions. There’s nothing worse than a date who only talks about themselves. Make sure to ask your date questions and actively listen to their responses. Here are some thoughtful, conversation-sparking questions to try:
- What’s something you’re really proud of?
- What’s something that’s brought you joy recently?
- What are you most passionate about?
Send compliments with a genuine smile. Flirting is crucial on a first date if you want to increase your chances of a second one, but make sure not to overdo it. Share a few kind words about their outfit or hairstyle. Then, as the date progresses, compliment how great the conversation is and let them know you're really enjoying the time together.
- Don’t forget to maintain eye contact, as it signals confidence and shows you're fully engaged in the discussion.
Extend the date if the chemistry is there. One of the best things about a coffee date is that it doesn't have to end with the coffee. If you're hitting it off, don't hesitate to suggest doing something else. After a few hours, invite your date for a walk.
- From there, you could check out a nearby museum, wander through an antique shop, or relax in a park. If things are still going strong, you’ll want to ask for a second date.
