Buzz
Shyness can make navigating relationships tricky, especially if you fear rejection. If you have feelings for a guy but feel too shy to express them, gather your courage and take small steps. Begin by subtly hinting at your feelings, particularly if you're not very familiar with him. You can start with something less direct, like handing him a note. If that doesn’t get the message across, or if you’re closer to him, consider speaking to him face-to-face. Even shy individuals can communicate their emotions effectively.
Steps
Subtly hint at your feelings.
Understand that he may not catch on if you’re not being direct enough. If you’re too shy to plainly say, “I like you,” you might prefer to drop hints instead of openly stating your feelings.
- For example, you could say, “I really enjoy spending time with you,” or “It would be great if we were lab partners.”
Send him a text.
Texting allows you to keep things private and gives you time to think things over. If you’re shy, approaching the guy in person might be intimidating, especially if he’s often surrounded by others. Texting can be a more comfortable way to flirt and interact without the fear of awkward silences or not knowing what to say next. When you’re texting him, use the opportunity to subtly drop hints.
- Simply texting him shows you're interested. To take it a step further, you could say, “By the way, I think you’re cute.”
- Once you’ve gained some courage, you could even directly say, “I like you” through a text.
Give him a note.
Try starting with a note and see if he responds. If approaching him directly and telling him you like him seems too overwhelming or causes anxiety, passing him a note could be a gentler way to express your feelings. Whether at school or elsewhere, if you see him regularly, consider slipping a note his way. This gives you the chance to avoid stumbling over words or drawing a blank. You can also write and revise your note until you’re happy with it.
- If you exchange a few notes, you might feel ready to tell him directly in your next one.
- Take your time to craft the note and figure out what you want to say. You can choose to keep it short and sweet or share your feelings in more detail. The important thing is that you clearly express that you like him.
Make eye contact.
Using eye contact is a simple yet subtle way to show him you're interested. Take every chance you get to look him in the eyes. For instance, when he greets you, return the greeting while making eye contact. You can add a playful touch by briefly looking away and then glancing back up at him with a smile.
- If he returns your gaze, it’s likely that he finds you appealing. Try to maintain eye contact for a second or two.
- Don’t overdo it! Pay attention to his reaction—does he smile back, glance away, or appear uninterested? Gauge his comfort level with the interaction.
Mytour Quiz: Do I Have Feelings for Him?
There’s this guy, and every time he's around, your heart races, and words seem to escape you. But are those butterflies truly because you like him, or is it just the idea of him? Emotions can be tricky to interpret, so we’ve created this quiz to help you sort it out. Answer these questions to find out if you're head over heels for him, content in the friend zone, or simply enjoying the attention he gives you.
1 of 12
How often does he cross your mind?
Send him a gift from an anonymous admirer.
Try asking him how he feels about his secret admirer. If you’re too shy to express your feelings openly but still want him to know you care, send him a gift signed from a secret admirer. You could send him something he enjoys, like his favorite snack or treat. You can also send a simple card with a note signed, “Your secret admirer.”
- If you send something from a secret admirer, you’ll probably need to eventually reveal that it’s from you.
Ask him to hang out with you.
It’s completely fine for you to make the first move and invite him to spend time with you. If you're too shy to come out and say, “I like you,” you could instead ask him to hang out. Spending time together will help you figure out how he feels and whether you should continue to spend more time with him. This shows that you want to get to know him better and enjoy his company.
- For instance, you could invite him to a dance or a sports event.
- Say something like, “I have two tickets for the basketball game on Friday, and I was wondering if you'd like to join me. What do you think?”
-
Reader Poll: Did you know that out of 787 Mytour readers, 72% admitted that they've never asked their crush out? [Take Poll]
- Asking out your crush can be nerve-wracking, especially for shy people. But considering how many people don’t take that step, your crush might actually be hoping you'd make the first move!
Set a goal for when you’ll finally tell him how you feel.
Make the decision to do it, and then take action. As a shy individual, it might be helpful to plan ahead when you want to express your feelings. For example, choose a particular day and time to tell him how you feel. To help you follow through, write it down in your calendar.
- For instance, if there's a party this weekend that you know he'll be attending, tell yourself, "Okay, I’m going to keep an eye out for him. Once I see him, I’ll casually approach him, bump into him, and tell him how I feel."
Pick a moment when he’s alone.
No need for his friends to be listening in or hanging around. As someone who’s shy, it’s better without an audience! He’ll appreciate your consideration and respect for his privacy. Observe the situation and find the right moment to speak with him.
- If he's engaged in a conversation, wait until there’s a break. Once the other person walks away, it’s your opportunity to approach him.
Be direct and tell him how you feel.
Don’t let the conversation drag without telling him you like him. If the conversation goes on too long, he might lose interest, or it might feel awkward. You can start by saying, "Hey Xavier, do you have a minute? There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you."
- Then continue with, "I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you lately, and I just wanted to tell you that I like you. I was hoping you might feel the same way."
Determine if he’s interested in you.
Your task becomes much simpler if you know he likes you too. If he smiles at you, goes out of his way to see you, or seems eager to spend time with you, these are great signs that he’s into you. He might directly tell you he likes you, or perhaps a friend will clue you in. Now your main challenge is boosting your confidence to let him know you feel the same way.
- If he doesn’t recognize you or only sees you as a friend, then there’s more work ahead.
Pay attention to whether he flirts with you.
Observe his response and whether he draws closer to you or seems distant. As a shy person, you may want to test the waters with some subtle flirting before approaching him directly. Watch how he reacts and see if he flirts back. Often, "actions speak louder than words," so let your body language convey your interest. Try simple flirtation tactics like laughing at his jokes or giving him a light touch on the arm. These can signal that you’re interested.
- You don’t have to go overboard—being subtle often works better, leaving some mystery in the air.
Consider the worst-case scenario.
He may tell you that he doesn’t feel the same way, but it’s unlikely he’ll mock you. A part of your shyness might cause you to imagine the worst-case scenario, but what’s the real worst that could happen? Try to be objective and think it through.
- If he does embarrass you, it says more about him being rude than anything else—and others will notice that too.
Turn telling him into a challenge.
Rather than making the moment feel daunting or frightening, approach it as a challenge. Are you up for the challenge? No matter what happens, you’ll be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone. Give yourself credit for taking the chance, even if the outcome isn’t what you hoped for.
-
If you find out he doesn’t feel the same way, don’t take it personally. He simply isn’t the right one for you.
-
Don’t compromise who you are just to please someone else.
The advice here comes from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers just like you. If you have any helpful tips to share with the Mytour community, feel free to submit them in the box below.
- If you discover he has feelings for someone else, try not to let it affect you too deeply. See it as a sign that the timing just wasn’t right between you two at this moment. However, don’t lose all hope—there’s always a chance he may start feeling differently in the future. Keep being your authentic self around him.
- It’s wonderful to have shared interests, but don’t stress if there are some differences. What truly matters is staying true to yourself. You can connect through mutual passions, but you also want to preserve your individuality.
- Never change core aspects of who you are just to win someone’s affection. If a guy doesn’t appreciate you for your true self, he’s not worth your time. Be true to what makes you unique. The right person will be drawn to that.
- A great way to get to know him better is to share some laughs and gradually build a friendship first. When he sees that you enjoy his company and make him laugh, he’ll likely want to spend more time with you.
- If he doesn’t return your feelings, try not to feel disheartened. You can still be friends!
