How to Fake Being Sick

Decide on the illness you want to pretend to have. Ideally, choose one that makes you appear too weak to do major tasks but not so severe that others would take you to a doctor or the hospital. A cold, fever, or flu-like symptoms are great options. Make sure you're familiar with the symptoms of the illness you're faking, and focus on portraying them accurately.

Start mentioning symptoms the day before you plan to fake being sick. If you want to skip school on Monday, start acting tired and sluggish on Sunday. Tell everyone you're feeling unwell or have a slight headache. Avoid eating too much and be sure to go to bed early. This way, when you begin showing more serious symptoms, they will seem more believable.

Bring up past experiences. If you've been sick before and others know about it, think back to how you felt and which symptoms were the most noticeable. Try to recreate those feelings and symptoms. This way, you can easily convince others that your old illness has flared up again, rather than pretending to have a completely new illness.

Make your face look pale. If you have green concealer, apply it to your cheeks and forehead to give your face a pale look. Don’t cover your entire face; just slightly alter the color of your skin.

• Make sure you know how to apply makeup properly. If your makeup is too obvious, you’ll easily get caught.
• If you’re using makeup, avoid letting anyone touch your face. Your plan will be ruined if someone touches your face and smears your makeup.

Pretend you're feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Walk slower, taking small steps. Get out of bed or off the couch slowly. When standing at your desk, pretend to lose your balance and place a hand on the desk to "regain" your balance.

• To remember what dizziness feels like, wait until you're alone and spin around until you feel slightly dizzy. Pay attention to how you feel and act. When you're in front of others, recreate this behavior but at a mild level.

Act uncomfortable. People who are sick usually don’t feel comfortable, so don’t tease others or laugh loudly and smile too much. Make others feel that you’re zoned out and "in your own world." If you tend to be irritable when you’re sick, act irritated with everyone. Don’t seem overly enthusiastic about things you normally enjoy. If you’re invited to a movie, and you usually love watching movies, politely decline the invitation.

Act sluggish. If possible, lie in bed. When you’re sick, feeling the urge to rest and sleep is a completely natural response. This is how your body deals with illness and heals itself. Frequently nod off or rest your head on the table. Whenever you can, curl up on the nearest armchair to relax.

• Fake shivering while lying in bed, even if you’re covered with blankets.

Act as if you feel uncomfortable being sick. When someone is genuinely sick, they usually feel miserable and have to skip many activities. Tell everyone you truly want to participate in the activities you're missing out on and apologize for the inconvenience you're causing them. Never act as if you’re happy to be home. Quietly say "uh-huh" in a tired manner and pretend to go back to sleep.

Don’t suddenly feel better. Once you’ve successfully convinced everyone you’re sick, don’t suddenly appear fully recovered after just one day, as this will raise suspicions. If your parents decide to let you stay home, don’t start smiling and getting energetic just hours after school ends.

Make your face feel hot and sweaty. Fever is a pretty effective symptom to fake because it implies you're dealing with an infectious illness, and the best treatment usually involves rest. People with fevers often have hot faces and foreheads but feel cold. There are several ways to create the appearance of someone with a fever.

• Take a hot shower but avoid wetting your hair.
• Use a hairdryer to blow warm air on your face.
• Dab water on your face to mimic sweat.
• When no one is watching, apply a warm towel or hot water bottle to your face for a few minutes.
• Rub your face vigorously with your hands.
• Lie on the bed with your head at the edge to allow blood to flow to that area.

Wrap yourself in layers of clothing and blankets. This will make you sweat, but others will think you’re cold. Fake shivering, even if you're wearing several layers. Cold sweats are a key symptom of a cold or fever.

Manipulate the thermometer's temperature. If your parents or nurse leave you alone with a thermometer in your mouth, there are several ways you can fake a high fever. But be careful not to make the temperature too high—otherwise, people may realize you're faking or take you to the doctor or hospital for a serious fever treatment.

• Drink hot water before placing the thermometer in your mouth.
• Hold the thermometer against a hot light bulb for a second.
• Shake the thermometer at the metal end. This will push the mercury towards the end of the thermometer. Note: You can’t use this method with digital thermometers.

Show signs of loss of appetite. You should only play with your food and avoid finishing everything, even if it’s a dish you normally love.

Rub your stomach often. Do this with an uncomfortable expression. You don’t need to say much, but if someone asks about your condition, be sure to mention your stomach (or if you’re a child, refer to your tummy).

Have a bowl or bucket ready nearby. Even if you don’t need it, just having it there suggests you might be feeling nauseous. Occasionally, grab it and look at it with a panicked expression, as if you’re on the verge of vomiting.

Spend more time in the bathroom. When someone’s stomach is unsettled, they tend to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, whether it's from vomiting or diarrhea. You don’t need to act these out—just rushing to the bathroom repeatedly each hour will get people’s attention.

Fake vomiting. Rush into the bathroom and make sounds like you’re throwing up, then pour a cup of water into the toilet and flush. Do this a few times, then take a moment to “freshen up” before coming out looking completely miserable.

• Most people won’t want to watch you actually vomit, so just mimicking the sound is enough. You can also prepare fake vomit and flush it when you pretend to vomit.
• If you’re eating soup, hold some in your mouth and pretend to swallow it. Then puff your cheeks as if the soup is coming back up, and hurry to the bathroom to spit it out in the toilet.

Breathe through your mouth. It’s tough to fake a runny nose if you don’t actually have one, but you can pretend to have a stuffy nose. Breathe through your mouth and speak slower. Don’t forget to sniffle frequently.

Run and pretend you’re freezing cold. Put on multiple layers of clothing and wrap yourself in blankets. Take a cold shower to make your skin feel even chillier.

Fake sneezing or coughing. This can be a tricky move. If done incorrectly, people will catch on that you’re not really sick. Pretending to cough is easier than pretending to sneeze, but even a fake cough can seem forced if you’re not careful.

• You can also make yourself sneeze by sniffing some pepper. Subtly sprinkle a little pepper onto your sweater and pretend to rub your nose. Sniffing the pepper will make you sneeze.

Apply a little toothpaste under your lower eyelids to make yourself tear up. Leave the toothpaste on for about 3 minutes to make your eyes feel like they’re burning.

Alter your voice. If you need to call your boss to request a sick day, you’ll need to change your voice to avoid suspicion.

• Speak slower than usual. Occasionally pause in between words. Don’t rush your responses. Remember, you’re sick and sluggish.
• Try breathing through your mouth to create a sound as if your nose is congested.

Emphasize the contagiousness of your illness. Your boss may not care much about how you’re feeling, but if you’re the reason your coworkers are getting sick, that’s a serious issue. Mention that you might have caught the illness from someone else. Explain to your boss that you can’t stop coughing and sneezing.

Cough and sneeze. Don’t cough or sneeze directly into the phone – you wouldn’t do that, would you? Hold the phone just far enough to cough and sneeze loudly. Then, apologize to your boss and continue the conversation.

Fake vomiting sounds. Fill one or two cups with water and make the call while sitting on the toilet. If you want the other person to believe you’re really sick, pause the conversation midway, make vomiting sounds, and then pour one cup of water into the toilet. This will simulate the sound of vomiting.

Avoid giving too many details. One of the quickest ways to raise suspicion is by giving too many details. If you’re calling in sick and don’t provide too much information, no one will know you’re lying.

• If you want to pretend that your stomach is upset, wake up about half an hour earlier than usual and eat three or four garlic cloves.
• Don’t provide too many details when speaking with people in authority. Simply tell your boss that you need to take sick leave without elaborating too much, unless your boss asks you for more details. The more complicated your lie, the easier it is to be caught.
• Keep a record of the dates, lies, and reasons for pretending to be sick. Make sure your actions don’t become too obvious, or others might suspect you’re faking it.
• If you’re pretending to have stomach issues, keep a bucket or container nearby. To make it more convincing, occasionally sit up and reach for it as if you’re about to vomit.
• When talking to your parents, use a hoarse or weak voice so they can’t fully understand what you’re saying.
• Avoid participating in any sports activities – you’re sick, so you lack the energy for such things!
• No matter how believable your act is, make sure your parents don’t take you to the doctor. Wasting money on this is unnecessary. Keep telling them, "I’ll see how I feel later."
• Act pitiful by slumping your shoulders, hunching your back, and letting your facial muscles relax so that your eyes and mouth droop.
• Don’t tell anyone you’re pretending to be sick! They might accidentally reveal your secret to others.
• Wake up early and place a few onions around your bed, such as under the blanket. When you hear your parents entering the room, curl up under the blanket and bring your face close to the onion. Once you start crying, tell your parents that you’re crying because your stomach hurts.
• If possible, cry. When you cry, your nose runs. Now you can show your parents that you’re truly sick, and this will also make your voice sound more convincing when talking to your boss.
• Spend time making vomiting sounds in the bathroom, but don’t overdo it because someone might check in on you – especially your parents.

• If you’re at home, be careful not to get up and do any tasks while your parents are away. They might unexpectedly return if they forget something or to check on you.
• Don’t take medicine to treat symptoms you’re faking. This can be dangerous for you. If it’s a pill, place it under your tongue, pretend to swallow it, then spit it out when no one is watching.
• Especially when you’re in school, avoid faking symptoms that might embarrass you. You can cough, have a fever, or vomit, but if you tell others you have diarrhea, you might get teased.
• Be careful not to become the "untrustworthy" person. If you’re caught pretending to be sick, others won’t believe you when you’re actually sick and need help.
• Clear your browsing history. Someone might become suspicious if they find evidence that you’ve been researching how to fake being sick.