How to Feel Confident

You may have already explored ways to boost your confidence, but what if you're still not quite feeling it? Sometimes, it just takes a little time for your emotions to catch up with your actions. However, you can speed up the process. Maybe what you need is some exercise and dressing neatly to lift your mood, or perhaps you could start with positive thinking and smiling more often. Ultimately, gaining confidence is a continual process, and once you’ve achieved it, it will absolutely improve the quality of your life.

Positive Thinking. When it comes to this topic, your perception is what defines your reality. If you feel confident, you will become confident. If your life seems to be getting worse and you choose to ignore it, it's not really that bad, is it? So, take time for happy thoughts! You're not deceiving yourself—don’t worry about seeming silly when thinking positively; you’re simply taking control.

• If you think, "Oh no, I'm too fat," STOP. Rethink that. Change it. Say it again, but this time, think like this: "My weight is bothering me. What can I do to change it?" You don’t need to see everything through rose-colored glasses; just be a little kinder to yourself.
• Positive thinking leads to a more optimistic and confident mindset. Do you know what happens when you think negatively about yourself? It becomes a habit, and before you know it, you'll feel negative about everything. You’ll become someone who gossips and complains, and people like that are often the ones who end things. It’s really unfortunate.

Gratitude. You've probably read through the Positive Thinking article, but still feel a bit lost? You can start by expressing gratitude. The more you recognize the good things you possess, the more relaxed you'll feel, and you can tell yourself, "Hmm, I think my life is actually going pretty well." The saddest part is that we often forget what we already have!

• To be honest, in general, you may already have a well-balanced body, all the essential material things, talents (what are they?), people who love you, and a future ahead. These are things most people possess (or at least most people in Mytour) – what other unique traits do you have that make you stand out?

Smile. There are countless debates about whether thoughts come first or actions. The truth is, your mind takes cues from your body. So, you can trick your brain by simply smiling! It turns out a smile is just like oatmeal. And basically, oatmeal is very good for you. Here are a few reasons why:

• Smiling releases endorphins and serotonin. If you force yourself to smile, you'll actually feel happier. It's not just about looking happier or seeming happier, but truly becoming happier.
• Smiling reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and boosts your immune system. It’s quite like oatmeal, only a smile is completely free, and you can find it everywhere.
• Smiling makes you more attractive in the eyes of others. Now, do you feel convinced?
• P.S. – Generally, happy people are often confident people. That’s the main goal. You don’t need to worry when everything seems to be going really well!

Change your environment. Think about the person you are at home, at school, at work, at your favorite coffee shop, etc. They're probably not the same, right? You might feel more comfortable and confident in one or two specific environments. So, if you're in a place where you're not feeling confident, get up and move to somewhere else!

• Of course, you can’t just get up in the middle of dinner and go straight to McDonald’s. But next time you're not feeling great, think about the location you're in. Recognizing that it’s the surroundings making you uncomfortable, not yourself, can help you eliminate the pressure!

Use imagination and deep breathing. This is a trick to help you feel more comfortable in a situation. You'll need it when you're trying to find the motivation to approach that cute guy or give a speech.

• Imagine you're doing really well and everything is going smoothly. When you expect success, you're more likely to achieve it. It's like waiting for failure, only this time, you're envisioning success.
• Take a deep breath. If you breathe too quickly, your heart rate increases and your brain starts to think "fight or flight." You’re just making yourself more anxious. You're not fighting a prehistoric mammoth, so there’s no need to worry.

Talk to yourself. Look in the mirror and convince yourself that YOU are amazing, and that you don't need to avoid anything except your own doubts. Strike a strong, confident pose in front of the mirror – this will help you think positively!

Dress Well. How would you feel walking into a fancy restaurant in a penguin pajama and messy hair? You’d probably feel embarrassed and out of place. But what if you swapped that for a stylish outfit instead? While your clothes don't define who you are, they can certainly elevate your worth.

• When we feel we look good, we naturally feel better about ourselves. So, make sure to shower thoroughly, tidy your hair, wear clean clothes, and use deodorant. You don't need to dress like you're attending a gala, but at least make an effort to feel better about yourself.

Mind Your Posture. Find a room or a public space where many people are present. You can often spot people who lack confidence simply by noticing their slumped shoulders and downward gaze. The truth is, if you imitate that behavior, you’ll become less confident as well. So, don't do that! Stand tall, chest out, and walk as if you’re in control of the situation. After all, you're mostly walking on a public sidewalk where everyone else is doing the same.

Exercise. Exercising improves our physical appearance. When we look better, we feel better. Additionally, exercise releases endorphins, boosts productivity, gives us more energy, and keeps us energized throughout the day. And of course, it helps us stay healthy, live longer, and more.

• You don’t have to train like a marathon runner to reap the benefits of exercise. Just 30 minutes of physical activity every day (even if you break it into smaller sessions) is all it takes to improve your health.

Choose Bright Colors. We often wear black when mourning for a specific reason: it reflects our mood. People have a strong connection to colors. If you're feeling down, try wearing brighter clothes. A slight change in color might be all you need to boost your confidence.

Do something you're good at. And you’re definitely good at something, even if it's just baking. You know this well! When you do what you excel at, you feel proud and accomplished. This is where confidence comes from. And it’s not just about doing it once; you need to do it regularly. This will remind you of your own greatness.

• Being good at something and mastering a skill shapes our personality, gives us topics to talk about with others, and fills us with excitement and completeness. Plus, did you know that doing things you love is fun? So, what are you waiting for? Take some time for yourself and do what you love.

Talk to people. Part of the problem with low self-esteem comes from not understanding others. To overcome this, talk to people more, even if the conversation is just about the bus ride. When you talk to others, you’ll discover:

• Most people are pretty friendly. They don’t intend to control or judge you. In fact, they might find it interesting to chat with you.
• People don’t like to be the ones who initiate. They’ll open up to you if you're the first one to take the lead. They’re just as nervous as you when interacting with others.
• People usually don’t like change. They prefer to stick with what they know and don’t want to think differently. This can be quite boring. You shouldn’t be like this. You can learn a lot from people who are different from you.

Keep talking to people. Honestly, the more you engage in conversations, the less fearful you'll feel, the less you'll care about what others think of you, and the less you'll obsess over the greatness of others. You’ll soon realize that most people are just ordinary people. And because of that, you won’t have any reason to overemphasize how you express yourself to them.

• The more you talk to others, the more skilled you’ll become at socializing. Social interactions can feel intimidating, but after having the same small talk 100 times, you won’t feel the same anymore. Don't know where to start or how to begin? Check out our article on Becoming an Extrovert and others in the same category to learn more.

Compliment others. Do you remember the positivity we discussed earlier? Turns out, people really enjoy it. Show them you're great at this by giving compliments. This act is similar to the saying, 'It's better to give than to receive.' It’s wonderful when others make you feel good, but it’s even more wonderful knowing you’ve helped others feel better about themselves.

• You should also be comfortable accepting compliments. A simple ‘thank you’ is the best way to do this. Don't mumble or make excuses when someone compliments you. Of course, this is a humble gesture, but it’s not kind to the other person. Imagine someone giving you a gift and you respond, 'No, no, I don’t deserve this gift; please take it back.' How awful is that!
• Additionally, your compliments should be sincere. Don’t just pretend to compliment others.

Observe your own attitude and the attitudes of those around you. This is absolutely true for two reasons:

• Observe your own and others' attitudes instead of judging. When you stop judging, negativity fades away. Your mind will open up, and you'll start to be able to learn.
• Observe both yourself and others to learn. What makes people appear confident? What makes you feel confident, and what makes you feel insecure? What triggers and patterns shape your confidence?

Look for genuine role models. Surrounding yourself with people who can inspire and instill confidence in you is a major advantage. Just make sure they are authentic – striving to be like Kim Kardashian is probably not the best idea. You’ll want to have a positive resource that you can tap into whenever you need.

• In addition to role models or mentors, you should also surround yourself with positive people. Associating with those who intentionally or unintentionally discourage you or force you to become someone you're not will never make you happy. It’s not worth sacrificing your happiness, no matter how rich or intelligent they may be.

Be honest with yourself. It’s hard to be confident when you’re trying to be someone else. You need to remember to express confidence, but also always keep in mind the kind of person you want to be. Trying to be someone else will only exhaust you. So, eliminate that step and just be yourself. It’s much easier this way.

• You won’t truly feel happy trying to become someone else. At first, you may receive positive reactions from others (like dressing to blend in with the crowd), but eventually, everything will fade, and what will remain is how you feel about yourself. So, if you hear that voice inside telling you, 'No, thanks,' listen to it. Trust yourself, do what you love – that’s real confidence!

• ALWAYS be honest and trust in yourself. If you don't trust yourself, no one else will.
• Remember, everyone has some form of fear. You are not the only one facing this issue.
• Surround yourself with people you love and who make you feel confident. Don’t settle for being around people who bring you down. The best thing you can do to feel better about yourself is to be surrounded by those who support you.
• Self-affirmation is a powerful tool and should be expressed as though it’s already happening. Tell yourself, 'I am a very confident person, and I can accomplish anything if I focus.'
• Remember, you are as equal as everyone else.
• Always maintain eye contact with the person you're talking to.
• Maintain good hygiene!
• If anyone discourages or teases you, think of it as silly comments. You should treat them like jokes and not take them seriously.
• You are amazing! Never forget this!
• Smile at everyone! You'll feel more positive and confident when they smile back at you.

• Never allow yourself to become bitter or belittle others in an attempt to boost your own self-confidence, as this will only cause people to dislike you.
• Instead of desperately striving for a fleeting moment of confidence, focus on exploring and nurturing yourself. Your true nature is noble and dignified. Exploring and caring for yourself will bring pure, genuine, and vibrant confidence that lasts. [Cf: Stress: Understanding and Management: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]