How to Find a Boyfriend When You're Overweight

Sometimes it feels like you'll never meet a good guy. Don't worry—you’re not the only one who feels this way! Nearly everyone has experienced this at least once in their life. If you're not confident about your body, it might feel even more frustrating. The most important thing is to find ways to feel more confident. When you love yourself, others are more likely to notice your positive qualities. You can also find ways to meet someone and develop a romantic relationship. Whether you're a teenager or an adult woman, these tips can be really helpful. Remember, a positive attitude is key!

Think Positively. Finding the right guy can feel like a daunting task. It can make you anxious, even sad. This is normal, but those negative thoughts won’t help you find a boyfriend. Instead, shift your mindset to focus on positive thoughts.

• Let go of negative thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking, "I'll never find anyone," replace it with, "I'm proud of myself for my efforts."
• Write a gratitude journal. Spend 5-10 minutes each day writing about the things you're thankful for. This helps you remember the positive aspects of life.
• You might write things like: "I’m grateful that my best friend and I were chosen to act in the school play," or "I’m happy that my parents trust and respect me."

Focus on Your Strengths. Take a little time each day to reflect on the things you love most about yourself. You can pick any attribute you admire and compliment yourself either out loud or in writing.

• For example, look in the mirror and say, "You have a beautiful smile!"
• Leave a sticky note on your laptop saying, "You're an amazing writer!"
• Try putting a note on your wardrobe that says, "You're an outstanding singer!"

Achieve Your Goals. Conquering goals is an excellent way to boost self-confidence. Start by setting clear and specific goals—both short-term and long-term. Then, create a plan to accomplish each one.

• A short-term goal could be "Avoid eating out for a week." You can achieve this by planning your meals and bringing lunch to work.
• A long-term goal might be "Get promoted within a year." Write down specific actions to help you reach this, such as taking on more responsibilities.
• Other goals could include "Be named the top student this semester" or "Join a new after-school club."
• Check off each goal as you achieve it to help boost your confidence!

Build a Positive Body Image. In today's society, it's common to feel overweight. It’s hard to feel content with yourself when you're constantly exposed to images of ultra-thin celebrities. Remember that those images are often edited, and they're not realistic for most people.

• Each person has a different body type, with unique heights, builds, and metabolisms.
• Think about what you like about your body. For example: "I'm happy I have strong legs to enjoy long hikes."
• Don’t let negativity affect you. Ignore hurtful comments or criticisms about your appearance.
• Find a role model who represents a realistic and healthy body type. It could be someone like your mom, Amy Schumer, or anyone you admire.

Take Care of Your Appearance. Sometimes, focusing on how you can look your best can help boost your confidence. Spend a little time each day grooming and dressing neatly. You’ll see that it can instantly improve your mood!

• Wear clothes that make you feel confident. Do you look your best in jewel-toned clothing? Consider getting a ruby-colored sweater to wear to work.
• Try a new hairstyle. If you've always wanted shorter hair, go for it! Experimenting with different hairstyles can lift your spirits and make you feel great.
• Make your smile even brighter. A beautiful smile is the best accessory anyone can wear. Use whitening strips to give your smile a radiant glow.
• Don’t worry about trends. Maybe the latest trend at school is high-waisted jeans, but they don't look good on everyone, so don’t feel obligated to follow it. Wear what suits your personal style.
• Ask friends for advice. You could ask, "Do you think this fitted sweater looks good on me?" Be open to their feedback.

Exercise to Boost Your Mood. You might be hesitant to go to the gym if you're not confident about your body, but exercise can actually improve your mood. Sweating it out is a great way to feel proud of yourself and boost your energy levels.

• Work with a fitness trainer. Many gyms offer a free initial session with a trainer. Choose advice that works best for you.
• Join a fitness class. You could invite a friend to join you in a cycling or barre class.
• Exercise outdoors. Outdoor workouts give you fresh air and sunshine, which can lift your spirits.
• Join a sports team. Consider signing up for a soccer or hockey team.

List Your Priorities. One of the most important things when looking for a boyfriend is to find someone you like. Before you go out looking, take a few minutes to think about what you want. Make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a future partner.

• Perhaps your top priority is finding someone with shared interests. For example, do you enjoy cycling? Consider it a priority to find someone who also likes this activity.
• You might also want to list key personality traits, such as honesty, enthusiasm, and a good sense of humor.

Leverage Your Network. Friends and family can be a great resource when searching for a partner. In fact, many people report meeting their significant other through friends or family. Let them know you’re open to meeting new people they introduce.

• You might say, "Hey Lan, I’d love to meet someone new. Do you know any guys who might be a good match for me?"
• Or try something like, "Thanh, the guy sitting next to you in English class looks really cute. Could you mention me to him and see if he’s interested?"
• Accept invitations to gatherings. You never know who you might meet at a class reunion.
• If you're working on building a positive body image, meeting people through your network might make you feel more at ease. It’s unlikely your best friend would introduce you to someone who might make negative comments about your appearance.

Utilize Technology. These days, many romantic relationships begin online. Don’t worry about the negative comments you might hear about meeting someone via the internet. Take advantage of technology to introduce yourself to your dream guy—or just find someone fun to hang out with!

• Online dating can be a great option if you're self-conscious about your looks. You’ll usually have to post a picture, which can be reassuring because anyone who contacts you will accept your appearance.
• Always be honest on your profile. For example, don’t post a photo from ten years ago.
• Be cautious with online dating. Never share personal details like your home address or workplace.
• Most dating platforms don’t allow teens, but that’s not an issue. You can still use technology to your advantage.
• Post a clever photo on Instagram and tag the guy you like. Or, send a cute message on Snapchat to a group of friends, including the guy you fancy. You’ll definitely catch his attention!

Be Friendly and Approachable. When meeting someone, focus on the conversation. This will help you forget about any insecurities regarding your body. Work on developing your communication skills and try striking up a conversation with the guy you like at a party.

• Be optimistic. Avoid bringing up controversial or upsetting topics during your first meeting.
• Don’t be afraid to make the first move. At a party, you can casually walk up to someone and say, "I don’t think we’ve met before. Are you a friend of Trang’s?"

Be Ready to Meet New People. Having a plan and leveraging your network is a great strategy, but you can actually meet someone special just about anywhere. Stay alert to the opportunities that arise in your everyday life—you never know where they might come from. Don’t hesitate to start a conversation in places like:

• In a department store. "I really enjoy spring rolls. Do you like them too?"
• In an airport lounge. "Are you traveling for work or leisure?"
• At your local coffee shop. "I haven’t seen you here before. I guess you’re not as addicted to coffee as I am!"
• School is a great place to meet new people. Join various activities, like writing for the school newspaper, to connect with others.

Set Realistic Expectations. When meeting someone, don’t expect a romantic relationship to develop too quickly. Be patient. Take the time to really get to know one another.

• If you feel uncomfortable about your weight, be honest about it. For example, you might say: "No thanks, I’m not really into dessert. I’m trying to eat healthier."
• Be true to yourself. Remember, he’s interested in dating you because he cares about you for who you are.

Build a Strong Connection. During your dating period, make an effort to discover common interests. Don’t be afraid to share what you like and don’t like. For example, you could say: "I love watching horror movies. Would you like to watch one with me this Friday?"

• Participating in activities together is a fantastic way to strengthen your bond. Try new things, like a dance class or a cooking class. Learning together is also a great way to boost confidence.

Focus on Having Fun. In the early stages of dating, try not to take things too seriously. Enjoying each other's company is the key to a healthy relationship. If you’re not having fun with him, or if he makes you unhappy, it might be time to reconsider.

• Laugh together. Go to a comedy club or watch funny videos on YouTube.
• Be a little playful. If you happen to pass by a playground, don’t hesitate to hop on the swings.

Effective Communication. Communication is the key to success in any relationship. To build a relationship, you need to express your thoughts clearly. Don’t hesitate to share your feelings.

• For example, you could say: "I really don’t enjoy spending the whole day at the pool. I don’t feel very confident right now, but I’m working on it. Can we find another way to hang out this afternoon?"
• Be straightforward, honest, and respectful of others.