Buzz
After having an incredible time on your first date, your second one is just around the corner. With the great connection you've already established, it's the perfect time to ramp up the flirting and really hit it off on your second date. Even if you're still feeling a bit nervous from your first outing, it’s easy to show your date that you’re into them. Keep reading for tips that will help you seal the deal and score a third date!
This article draws insights from an interview with our expert dating coach, Candice Mostisser. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Look your best.
Wearing a flattering outfit signals your interest in your date. Take some time to pick out clean, well-fitting clothes that reflect your personal style. You don’t need to go all out, but putting extra effort into how you look will definitely catch your date’s attention.
Impress them with a thoughtful gift.
Even a small gesture can show you're considerate. Reflect on your first date conversation and get them a gift tied to what you discussed. It could be their favorite candy, their regular Starbucks drink, or something they casually mentioned earlier.
- “I remember you mentioning that you love Kit Kats, so I got you the biggest one I could find!”
- “I grabbed us some coffee. Venti cold brew with almond milk, just how you like it!”
Greet them with a friendly hug.
A warm hug will help your date feel more at ease. Break the touch barrier right away to set the tone for the date. A quick hug as you greet each other is playful and shows your date that you’re excited to be closer to them.
- “Hi hi! I’ve missed you!”
- “Ugh, it’s so wonderful to see you again!”
- “Hey you! I’ve been looking forward to this all day!”
Show them your brightest smile.
A sincere smile enhances your attractiveness. You want your date to feel your happiness and excitement in being around them, so let your smile shine through to make them feel more comfortable and drawn to you. A positive attitude and cheerful mood will be contagious, helping your date look forward to spending time with you.
- Be sure to brush your teeth before meeting your date to ensure your smile dazzles and your breath stays fresh.
Make eye contact with them.
Making eye contact deepens your connection. Looking into each other's eyes not only shows attentiveness, but also helps foster attraction between you. Just remember to break the gaze occasionally, as holding eye contact for too long might make things uncomfortable.
- Try holding eye contact for a few seconds, followed by a smile. This simple gesture will surely make your date feel warm and happy inside.
Position your body toward them.
Your body language signals your interest. Turning away from your date may unintentionally suggest disinterest, but when you face them, with your chest and knees pointed toward them, it shows you're fully engaged and open, making them feel trusted and comfortable to share with you.
Gently touch them.
A light touch here and there establishes a physical connection. Look for moments to casually break the touch barrier throughout your date. You might brush your hand against theirs, gently guide them by their lower back, or hold their hand for a brief moment before letting go.
- If your date pulls away or seems uncomfortable with touch, respect their boundaries and try flirting in other ways. They may simply need a little more time to feel at ease with you.
EXPERT ADVICE
John Keegan
Relationship Expert
Relationship Expert
Initiate subtle physical contact. If the moment feels right during your date, try lightly brushing their hand or gently touching their arm. If they respond positively, it could be a sign to increase physical closeness, paving the way for a more romantic connection.
Give them a heartfelt compliment.
Your date will feel appreciated when you acknowledge something you genuinely admire about them. Complimenting their appearance is fine, but you'll earn extra points if you highlight their personality or achievements. Just be mindful not to overdo it or make anything sound too sexual, as it could come off as insincere.
- “You look absolutely stunning in that top!”
- “Wow, you absolutely nailed that karaoke performance! Why didn’t you tell me you had the voice of an angel?!”
- “You’re so easy to talk to, I feel like I could share anything with you.”
Engage in deeper conversations.
Your date will appreciate your desire to learn more about them. While the first date is all about breaking the ice and having fun, use the second date to explore how well you might connect in the long run. Ask about their family, values, what they want from a relationship, and their future aspirations. Don’t forget to share your own answers as well to keep the conversation flowing.
- “What’s something you’re hoping to accomplish in the next 10 years?”
- “How’s your relationship with your family?”
- “What’s the most important thing for you in a relationship?”
Give them your undivided attention.
It shows you care when you focus entirely on your date without distractions. Show your date that you're fully present by actively listening, maintaining eye contact, nodding to acknowledge what they’re saying, and blocking out everything else around you.
- Make sure to put your phone away during the date to resist the temptation to check it.
Ask meaningful follow-up questions.
Asking follow-up questions demonstrates you're engaged and genuinely interested in getting to know them. Once your date has finished sharing, instead of changing the topic, delve a little deeper into their story. Build on what they just said to show you care about their thoughts and experiences.
- “That’s amazing that you grew up in a small town. What did you enjoy doing there?”
- “It seems like you’re really close with your family. How often do you get to spend time with them?”
- “I love skiing too! What’s the most exciting slope you’ve ever been on?”
Laugh at their jokes.
Your date will love knowing they can make you smile. When your date shares a funny story or a cheesy joke, show them your appreciation by laughing. It will let them know that you enjoy their company and that you share a similar sense of humor. This can help create a deeper connection and make them more fond of you.
- Be mindful not to laugh at everything, as your date might think you don’t take them seriously.
Playfully tease them.
Light teasing shows your interest in your date. When you tease, you’re gauging their sense of humor and seeing if they’re enjoying the moment. Just ensure your comments are playful and won’t be misunderstood or offend your date, as that could put a damper on things.
- “Gutter ball? I thought you said you were good at bowling!”
- “If you’re a musician, surely singing me a love song is no problem, right?”
- “Was that your way of flirting? Because it was super cute.”
- If your date appears offended, quickly apologize and steer the conversation in a new direction.
Make loose plans together.
Suggesting casual plans shows you’re interested in seeing each other again. You don’t have to set specific details for the next date right away. If something comes up that both of you enjoy, suggest a vague idea to spark your date’s imagination about spending time together again in the future.
- “My friends say I’m a fantastic chef! How about we cook dinner together sometime?”
- “It’s great that we both enjoy the farmer’s market! Wouldn’t it be fun to go together and try out all the food?”
- “You’re good at basketball, huh? Let’s have a 1-on-1 game soon!”
- Reader Poll: We asked 1461 Mytour readers when is the best time to ask for a follow-up date, and 53% of them agreed it's best to ask within a few days to a week after the previous date. [Take Poll]
Consider wrapping up with a kiss.
A quick kiss can make a lasting impression. If your date has gone well and you feel the chemistry, demonstrate your interest by focusing on your date’s lips and gently touching them. Then, muster the courage to move in for the kiss. If they share the same feelings, they’ll lean in too and leave your date with a romantic touch.
- If your date doesn’t reciprocate the kiss, respect their space. They might not enjoy public displays of affection or may not be ready for such intimate contact yet.
- Although you can often gauge their feelings through body language, it’s always polite to ask for consent before kissing. You might say, “I’ve really enjoyed this evening. Would it be alright if I kissed you?”
Join the Conversation...
So, I recently had a fantastic first date, and we really hit it off. We both agreed to meet up again soon, but now I’m stuck. I’d love some ideas for a second date where we can continue to talk and get to know each other better, but also have fun together! I’m open to any suggestions you have!
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Dating & Relationship Coach
The best date ideas are those that involve movement. I’m a big fan of walks—whether it’s by a river, through a favorite spot, or while exploring new places. Find somewhere that sparks curiosity. It could be a shopping mall, an arcade, or even a bowling alley. The goal is to keep moving and engaging. Even if you’re having dinner, grab takeout and find a spot to eat while walking, like on a park bench. Just choose a location you’re excited to explore and enjoy walking around together.
I've had great success with mall dates for second dates! They work really well because as you walk around the mall, you’ll naturally encounter things that spark great conversations. Different topics come up as you explore various stores and people-watch.
Here’s a tip for making mall dates even more successful: try scheduling them an hour or two before the mall closes. If the date’s not going well, it gives you a natural end point. But if it’s going well, you’ll have the opportunity to keep walking around after the mall closes, creating a private, relaxed atmosphere perfect for deeper, more intimate conversations. I did mall dates for my first and second dates with my boyfriend, and they lasted 5 and 6 hours!
Here’s a tip for making mall dates even more successful: try scheduling them an hour or two before the mall closes. If the date’s not going well, it gives you a natural end point. But if it’s going well, you’ll have the opportunity to keep walking around after the mall closes, creating a private, relaxed atmosphere perfect for deeper, more intimate conversations. I did mall dates for my first and second dates with my boyfriend, and they lasted 5 and 6 hours!
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Read DiscussionMake Your First Date Perfect with Expert Tips from this Series
1
Get Ready for Your Date
2
Set the Scene for Your Date
3
Stay Calm During Your First Date
4
Thrive on Your First Date
5
Stay Safe on Your First Date
6
Make a Strong Impression on Your Date
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Organize an activity based on your date’s passions to demonstrate that you’ve been attentive to their preferences and interests.
