How to Get a Girlfriend Through Facebook Chat

Have you ever noticed that you have feelings for a girl you often chat with on Facebook? If you and this girl regularly engage in interesting conversations, you might want to take your relationship to the next level and express your love to her. To make this a reality, all you need is to become someone who knows how to converse online and show her how much she means to you.

Make sure she is single. If you want to get a girlfriend through Facebook chat, the first thing you need to ensure is that she is not already in a relationship. It may seem obvious to check her personal profile to see if she is single, but sometimes things aren’t that straightforward. For example, she may be dating someone who doesn’t use Facebook and doesn’t publicly disclose her relationship status. She might also list her relationship status as ‘married’ to a female friend for fun while still dating someone, or she may clearly indicate that she is in love with someone. How do you find out? Here are some tips:

• Check all her photos. Do you see her in pictures with any guy? Are there comments from others saying they look like a great couple? If so, she may already have a boyfriend.
• Check her wall. Does she often post on the wall of a particular guy, or engage in frequent conversations with him? If so, this guy may be the one she is dating.
• Look for any mysterious posts that hint at a romantic relationship. She might post love songs, use winking emojis, or leave subtle comments about having feelings for someone. This could indicate that she is either interested in someone else or already dating someone, but keeping it private.
• If she doesn’t seem to be dating anyone but appears to have hidden feelings for someone, go ahead and boldly try to win her over!

Make sure your profile is interesting. Whether or not you know her personally, it's important to have a profile that stands out and is updated regularly. If she’s used to chatting with you online or commenting on your Facebook posts, she might visit your profile. If that's the case, you want to make sure your profile is appealing with great pictures and a few witty comments. Here are some tips to make sure your profile catches her attention:

• Use a profile picture that's not too flashy but genuinely reflects how you look. Girls appreciate authenticity, not pretentiousness.
• Share interesting links or clips on your timeline, but don’t overdo it, as doing so too often may make you seem dull.
• Review your photos and make sure there are no pictures that make you seem immature or reckless.

Don’t jump into chatting as soon as you see she’s online. If you want to seem calm and attract her without being too forward, give her around 10-15 minutes before you say, "How are you?" This shows that you’re not just waiting for her to get online, but that you also happened to log in and wanted to check in. Of course, you might miss the chance if she logs off after just a couple of minutes, but waiting a while before starting the conversation will make you seem more mature.

• If she’s online from her phone (you’ll see the logo in the chat bar), this might not be the best time to chat. She could be busy and not even realize she’s logged into chat because she left Facebook open on her phone.

Start naturally. When texting her, begin with something light and easy to avoid coming across as someone who's been stalking her profile. You could ask, "How’s it going?" or "How are you today?" or ask about something simple like how her football match went or what she thought of the math test. There's no need to start off with flirtatious comments right away. Instead, focus on keeping the conversation going; if you try flirting too early, it’ll seem obvious.

• If you’ve never spoken to her directly before, make sure she knows who you are. A lot of people have friends on Facebook and forget that those people might not recognize them in real life.
• Try asking something like "How’s everything going with you lately?" or a direct question like "How did your football game go?" to keep the conversation flowing.

Bring up interesting topics. Once you’ve broken the ice, start talking about topics that she’s interested in to keep the conversation going. This depends on what you like and what you think she might care about. You could talk about a rumor at school (without being too mean), a class you both attend, a hot news story, or your plans for the summer.

• If she’s interested, she’ll respond enthusiastically, offering humorous comments and asking questions. If she doesn’t respond, you might need to switch topics.

Start building a connection. If you don’t know her well yet, take a look at her profile to see what she likes, whether it’s her favorite band or her hobbies, like running or hiking. You don’t need to say you’ve checked out her profile; instead, bring up these topics naturally. You can also create a connection if you both grew up in the same area, played the same sport, share political views, or have other common interests.

• Don’t stress if you think you don’t have much in common. You can still build a lasting relationship based on just one or two shared interests. You don’t need to have exactly the same taste in music, books, or sports to start a relationship.

Show her that you like her. If you want her to keep talking to you, let her know that you genuinely care about her. Start off with light and pleasant conversations, but also compliment her subtly to keep the conversation going. You could say things like: "Talking to you is really enjoyable" or "You make me laugh so much." Let her know you truly appreciate her personality and that you’re always eager to chat with her.

• You could also compliment her appearance in a photo she posted. Suggestions could include, "That dress looks amazing" or "Your hair looks gorgeous like this." Just be subtle, so she doesn't feel overwhelmed.

Don’t be too aggressive. Having fun chatting online and building a relationship with a girl on Facebook is one thing. However, waiting for her to log in, sending her a message immediately when you see she's online, and bombarding her with messages when she rarely responds is something else entirely. Make sure that both of you are initiating conversations at similar intervals, that you're not online 24/7, and that she’s equally interested in chatting with you.

• You don’t want her to feel like you’re waiting on Facebook every time she logs in. Let her wonder if you’re online or not.

Show her that you have a life beyond Facebook. If you want to win her over, you need to let her see that you have more going on than just posting new pictures on Facebook. You can talk about exciting weekend plans, things you're looking forward to in the evening, or simply mention people you're about to meet up with. You don’t have to lie to make your life seem more exciting than it actually is, but let her know that you’re not just endlessly scrolling through Facebook.

• If you’re going to your uncle An’s 50th birthday party, you don’t need to explain all the details. Simply say, "I have to meet someone," which leaves things a bit mysterious without revealing too much.

Consider referring to or hinting at her profile or Facebook posts. Initially, this might feel a bit awkward, but once you get to know her, you can mention things she’s posted. If she shares a picture from a weekend trip with friends at Dai Lai Lake, you could ask how her trip was. If she posts a news article she’s interested in, you could chat with her about it—as long as it doesn’t spark a debate. This can help you find conversation topics and keep the chat going.

• Don’t do this right at the start of the conversation, but use it as a backup when you run out of things to say.

Show that you're truly paying attention. If you genuinely want to catch her attention, demonstrate that you care about her as a person. If she mentions something, like a solo performance, bring it up in your next conversation and ask how it went. If you see her at school and notice she’s wearing a new dress or has a new hairstyle, compliment her (but don’t overdo it). Let her know that you’re really paying attention to her, that you care about both her appearance and what she says.

• You could say things like: "How was your math exam? Was it as bad as you thought?" Or, "Did you have a good time at your uncle's birthday?" This will show her that you’re attentive to the details.
• If you need to recall past conversations, feel free to review your chat history.

Log off when things are still interesting. Another way to keep her interested is by ending the conversation while it’s still enjoyable. Don’t keep chatting until you’ve run out of things to say, and then stay on when there’s no more fun left. Find the moment when the conversation is at its best, and excuse yourself before logging off, so she’s left wanting more.

• Of course, you should remain polite and mention that you need to leave for something rather than just abruptly logging off.
• This advice also applies to face-to-face conversations. You should leave when the chat is still going well instead of waiting for it to get boring, so you leave a good impression.

Consider asking her out online. One thing you could do is ask her out or even express your feelings for her through Facebook. While some girls may prefer that you do this in person, if you’ve established a good relationship online and you think she’ll respond positively, consider asking her online. Many will advise caution, but if you feel it’s right for both of you, find the right moment to ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend.

• Asking her out or confessing your feelings online can reduce the pressure for both of you. You don’t have to worry too much about saying the perfect thing since you’re typing, and this is why she doesn’t have to worry about giving a perfect answer either.

First, spend time with her in person. While you might be developing feelings for her online, spending time with her in person will give you a better understanding of who she is and whether you’re truly compatible. If you both go to the same school or live nearby, start by inviting her out with your friends, and then consider whether you can hang out alone. Suggestions include grabbing lunch together, going for a walk, or watching a movie. This can help you know if you click.

• Be natural. You might say things like: "This weekend, my friends and I are going to Vincom. Would you like to bring your friends along?" Or, "Are you going to the costume party tonight? I’ll be there with a few friends."

Ensure that both of you feel the same way about each other. Whether you're hanging out with friends, spending time alone, or chatting online, before asking an important question, you should be certain whether she feels more for you than just friendship. While you may get along really well, she could have feelings for someone else, or she may already see you as more than just a friend. Pay attention when you're around her or talking to her—does she seem genuinely happy, flirt with you a little, or ask about your life? Take a moment to consider whether she might secretly have feelings for you.

• Of course, you can’t read someone’s mind, and it’s hard to know if she likes you just by chatting online. If you're not meeting in person regularly, you won’t be able to pick up on things like her tone of voice or personality.

Find the right moment to confess your feelings. If you’ve decided to confess, make sure you choose the right time to do it, whether online or in person. If you’re planning to do it online, wait for a moment when you’re complimenting each other during a fun conversation, or when you’re talking about hanging out together. If you plan to meet in person, make sure you're alone, she’s in a good mood, and you’ve genuinely connected before you confess.

• When the time is right, just tell her that you like her and want her to be your girlfriend. You don’t need a grand speech, and she will appreciate your honesty. You could simply say, "I’m really glad to have met you. You’re so smart, funny, and easy to be around. I’d like to know if you’d be my girlfriend?"

React appropriately. Whether she accepts or declines, it’s crucial that you react like a mature man. If she agrees to be your girlfriend, feel free to show her how excited you are, letting her know how happy you are and expressing your affection. If she declines, handle it like it’s no big deal. You could tell her that you’re still happy to be friends and appreciate her honesty.

• If this relationship truly turns into love, you can start spending more time together in person and stop flirting online as much.

• Using Facebook chat is a completely different experience since you won’t be able to see her facial expressions. If you want to see her face, you can use Skype instead.

• A computer with a processor superior to Pentium 2
• An internet connection with average or higher speed