Buzz
When conversing with a shy guy, it may be hard to tell if he has feelings for you. Getting him to express his emotions can seem challenging, but fortunately, there are ways to help him feel more at ease and confident enough to share his feelings with you. We've compiled a list of strategies that can encourage a shy guy to admit that he likes you and take your relationship to the next level.
This article is based on an interview with our dating advice expert, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. View the full interview.
Steps
Get to know him on a deeper level.
Talk about his hopes, dreams, and fears. The more you understand each other, the more likely he will feel comfortable sharing his feelings. Try not to overwhelm him with a barrage of questions (this can often make shy guys feel tense). Ask him personal questions when you hang out together. You could ask questions like:
- “What is your biggest life goal?”
- “Where do you think you’ll be in ten years?”
- “What is your happiest childhood memory?”
Build a trust-based relationship.
Be open and sincere. Shy guys need to feel secure to open up, so you must work to provide that assurance. You can achieve this by planning and following through, communicating well with him, and making him a priority.
- If you don’t prioritize him or constantly cancel plans, it will be difficult for a shy guy to admit he likes you. Show him with actions that you care for him.
- You should also be a good listener. When he speaks, look him in the eye and nod to show you are listening.
Pause to let him speak.
During conversations, take a moment to see if he has something to say. Shy guys often hesitate to interrupt when talking. So when you’re chatting, remember to pause every few minutes to create space for him. If he’s thinking about something, he will share it with you.
- Shy guys tend to think before they speak. They will feel more comfortable and confident if given the chance to express themselves.
- Avoid bombarding him with questions as it might overwhelm him.
Make eye contact with him.
Stare into his eyes to signal your attraction. If you want him to feel comfortable, try gazing into his eyes and pause for a moment. This will make him feel more at ease and open up to you more easily.
- Don’t worry if he can’t look you in the eye – he might just be nervous.
Touch his arm or shoulder.
Break the touch barrier to help him feel more natural. When you’re together, gently tap his hand or touch his arm when you laugh at his jokes. This shows him that you like him, and it will help him feel more comfortable talking openly with you.
- You can also hug him or lightly kiss his cheek.
- If he mimics your touch, it’s a clear sign he’s feeling the same way about you.
Give him some space.
If he misses you, he’ll be more likely to open up. You don’t need to be around him all the time; meet up a couple of times a week, but also allow him time to himself. Shy guys often need personal time to rest and recharge, which benefits both of you.
- Try letting him take the initiative occasionally. It’s not ideal if you’re always the one texting or calling first.
Ask him about his first impression of you.
This is a clever way to hint at talking about feelings. During your conversation, try asking a playful question about when you first met, then you can continue asking what he thinks of you now (and if he likes you).
- For example, you could say, “What was your impression when we first met?” and then try asking, “Oh, really? So how do you feel about me now?”
Ask him if he's looking for love.
Gauge his thoughts on dating to figure out if he has feelings for you. If he says he’s really looking for his soulmate, he may like you. If he hesitates or says he’s not interested in that, he might be trying to avoid disappointing you. Try asking questions like:
- “Are you interested in having a girlfriend right now?”
- “Do you want to be alone for a while or are you ready to date again?”
Express your feelings first.
He will open up more if he knows you like him. Let him know that you have feelings for him so that he feels more comfortable sharing. You don’t have to make it a big deal, but you can express that you genuinely like him and want to see where this relationship goes.
- For example, you could say, “Hey, I just want you to know that I’m really happy whenever I’m with you. I’d love to get to know you better because I really like you.”
Text him instead of talking in person.
Shy people often feel more comfortable sharing through text messages. Instead of asking questions when you meet, try texting to gauge his feelings. There’s a good chance he will open up about his emotions if he only has to send you a text.
- While it may not be as special as a face-to-face conversation, you can still text him to say you like him. This way, there’s less pressure on both of you, and the conversation will flow more naturally.
Take the first step.
Lean in and kiss him if you want. Shy guys often lack the courage to make the first move. If you really like him, you can take the initiative and confess your feelings to take the relationship further. He might feel more comfortable opening up to you once you admit that you like him.
- Your guy may initially be a little stiff, but it’s probably just because he’s nervous. Give him a few seconds to adjust to your kiss before giving up.
Advice
- Look for signs that he likes you, such as staring into your eyes for a long time or touching your arm.
