How to Get a Shy Guy to Make the First Move

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Ngày cập nhật gần nhất: 15/3/2026

Content

Send him playful, flirty text messages.

Keep making eye contact with him.

Look away briefly, then glance back at him.

Give him a smile.

Angle your body toward his.

Gently touch his hand or arm.

Take his hand.

Flirt with him.

Avoid talking about his shyness.

Pause before saying goodbye.

Take the initiative and make the first move.

Stop Awkward Kisses with this Expert Guide

If you're attracted to a shy guy but he's hesitant to make the first move, it can be challenging. Luckily, there are several ways to help him feel more comfortable and encourage him to take that step toward you. Continue reading for tips on how to send him the right signals and potentially land a kiss (and maybe even the guy of your dreams!).

This article draws on insights from John Keegan, a professional dating coach and founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Read the full interview here.

Steps

Send him playful, flirty text messages.

Plant the idea of making a move before you’re even together. Drop him a message expressing how you can’t stop thinking about him or hinting that you wish you were kissing him right now. It’ll boost his confidence and may encourage him to take the plunge when you're in person.

Try saying something like, “I wish you were here,” “Can’t get you off my mind,” “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

Keep making eye contact with him.

Send him a signal by frequently catching his gaze. While talking to him, make sure to hold his eyes as you speak. If you’re moving around, try to face him as much as possible. The more often you lock eyes, the more he’ll understand that you're interested.

You can also make eye contact with him from across the room.

Look away briefly, then glance back at him.

It’s a playful move that can give him a hint. While conversing, turn your gaze away for a moment, then quickly look back at him. When you do, make sure to meet his eyes.

To add some flirtation, bite your lower lip when you look back at him.

Give him a smile.

Frequent smiling will clearly show you're into him. Plus, it draws attention to your lips! There's no need to overdo it, but try to make it obvious that you enjoy being around him. Laughing at his jokes can also help send the message.

Consider using lip balm or Chapstick to subtly emphasize your lips even more.

Angle your body toward his.

Your body language speaks volumes. If you’re sitting together, position your torso and legs so they face him. If you’re standing, gently turn inward to face him a little more. It's a small gesture, but he’ll pick up on it without even realizing it.

If you’re walking, this may be trickier. Just try glancing at him often and staying close when possible.

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Gently touch his hand or arm.

Be the first to initiate physical contact so he doesn’t feel pressured. While laughing at something funny, casually touch his upper arm. If he’s just shared a sweet story, briefly take his hand. The more you make physical contact, the more at ease he’ll feel about taking the next step.

You could also consider giving him a hug or softly rubbing his back.

EXPERT ADVICE

John Keegan

John Keegan
Dating Expert

Don’t hesitate to take the initiative. A light touch on the arm or a soft brushing of hands can create a connection. Be mindful of your date’s reactions and always pay attention to their body language.

Take his hand.

It’s a clear indication that you’re interested in him and want to get closer. Gently place your hand near his, then slowly reach out and hold it. Try to maintain hand contact as much as you can during your time together, signaling to him that he should make a move.

If you're unsure how to hold his hand, suggest a fun game like arm wrestling or thumb wars. It's a playful and flirty way to initiate touch.

Flirt with him.

Let him know how adorable and funny you think he is. With shy guys, it might take a bit more effort, so don’t hesitate to shower him with compliments. Tell him how much you enjoy his company and how great he makes you feel.

Say something like, “You’re so cute! Your hair looks fantastic today.”
Or, “I really enjoy hanging out with you, you always know how to make me laugh.”

Avoid talking about his shyness.

He may become embarrassed or withdraw if you bring it up. Since he’s shy, allow him some time to feel comfortable. As you spend more time together, he’ll likely feel more at ease. Speak gently, take pauses, and avoid bombarding him with questions, as it might make him feel overwhelmed.

Similarly, if you think he’s inexperienced, don’t highlight it. Drawing attention to it will likely make him feel more nervous and less likely to take a step forward.

Pause before saying goodbye.

Most guys see the goodbye moment as their chance to make a move. If you’re about to part ways, say goodbye, but don’t rush off. Keep the eye contact going and, if possible, reach for his hand.

If he gave you a ride, don’t immediately get out of the car.

Take the initiative and make the first move.

If everything else fails, just take the plunge! Some guys are so shy that they won’t make the first move, even if you’re sending clear signals. If you’ve been having fun and flirting all evening, don’t hesitate to make the first move yourself.

Shy guys often appreciate it when someone else makes the first move. It relieves the pressure, and they might feel more confident next time they see you.