Buzz
If you're interested in a guy who's particularly shy, getting him to make the first move can be challenging. Luckily, there are several strategies you can employ to make him feel comfortable enough to naturally gravitate towards you. Read on to learn how to send signals that you're ready for a kiss and (hopefully) land in his arms.
This article is based on an interview with dating coach John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. You can read the full interview here.
Steps
Send a flirty message.
Make him think about taking the initiative before you two get together. Send a message saying you can't stop thinking about him or that you want to kiss him right now. This will boost his confidence when he's with you and might give him the courage to make a move.
- You could text something like: “Wish you were here”, “Miss you so much”, “Want to kiss you right now”.
Communicate with him through eye contact.
Send signals with your eyes. When talking, look into his eyes. If you're walking together, turn to look at him as often as possible. The more eye contact you make, the clearer it will be to him that you're interested.
- You can also give him a flirty glance from across the room.
Look away, then look back at him.
This is a flirty move that sends strong signals. If you're in a conversation, glance away briefly and then quickly return your gaze to him. Make sure to lock eyes with him in that moment.
- To make it even more enticing, you can gently bite your lower lip while looking at him.
Smile at him.
A smile can also signal that you're interested in him. Plus, it draws attention to your lips. You don’t need to fake a laugh, but make sure he knows you enjoy his company. Whenever he tells a joke, laugh genuinely.
- Don’t forget to apply lip balm or Chapstick to make your lips more inviting.
Turn your body toward him.
Body language sends a pretty clear message. If you're sitting together, angle your upper body and legs toward him. If standing, subtly turn inward to face him more directly. These small gestures will subtly communicate your interest.
- If you're walking together, it might be trickier. Try to look at him often or stand close to him when possible.
Touch his hand or arm.
Be the one to break the touch barrier first, as he might hesitate. If he tells a joke, laugh and lightly touch his arm. If he shares a sweet story, briefly squeeze his hand. The more you touch him, the more he’ll feel encouraged to take the initiative.
- You can also hug him or give him a gentle back rub.
Hold his hand.
It’s a clear sign that you like him and want to be close. Place your hand near his, then gently reach out and take it. Try to hold hands as often as possible when you're together, so he understands he should take the next step.
- If you're unsure how to hold his hand, suggest playing thumb war or arm wrestling. It’s a cute and charming way to initiate physical contact.
Flirt with him.
Compliment him on being cute and funny. With shy guys, you might need to be a little bold, so don’t hesitate to be more forward. Compliment him and express your desire to spend more time together.
- You could say, “You’re so adorable. Your hair looks great today.”
- Or, “I love hanging out with you; you always make me laugh.”
Don’t bring up his shyness.
He might withdraw or feel embarrassed. Knowing he’s shy, give him more time to open up. He’ll feel more comfortable as you both get to know each other better. Keep conversations light, pause often, and avoid bombarding him with questions—it can overwhelm him.
- The same goes for inexperienced guys. Constantly pointing out his lack of confidence might make him feel worse and hesitant to take the next step.
Show reluctance when saying goodbye.
Most guys understand that the goodbye moment is a chance to make a move. If you’re heading home, say goodbye but don’t walk away immediately. Look into his eyes, or even hold his hand if the moment feels right.
- If he’s dropping you off, don’t rush out of the car right away.
Take the initiative yourself.
If none of the above steps work, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Some guys are too shy to make the first move, even if you spell it out for them. If you’ve had a great time together and the chemistry is there, don’t hesitate to make the first move.
- Shy guys deeply appreciate someone who takes the lead. It takes the pressure off and makes them feel more confident about seeing you again.
Advice
- Shy guys aren’t always great at picking up on hints. Don’t hesitate to be a little bold with your flirting, eye contact, and light touches.
