Buzz
Breakups are always painful, especially when your ex has caused you significant emotional wounds. If you're thinking about getting back at your ex after the breakup, it's understandable. Although revenge may feel satisfying in the moment, it often leaves you feeling worse afterward. If you still want to get back at him, there are a few simple tactics you can try that won't get you into trouble. However, remember that the best form of revenge is showing your ex that you don't need him anymore. Plus, you'll likely feel a sense of relief once you handle the urge for revenge, because if you're still seeking revenge, it means you're still hurting.
Steps
Revenge on an Ex-Boyfriend
Accidentally send a message meant for another guy to your ex. Make your ex think that you've moved on from the relationship by sending him a sweet text intended for someone else. Then, immediately send a follow-up message claiming it was a mistake. Your ex will believe that you've lost interest in him and have quickly found someone new.
- You could text, "Thanks for last night, it was so fun. Let's do it again soon." Then follow up with, "Sorry, wrong number. I’ll delete the contact."
Post an embarrassing picture of him online or in a public place. While you should never post private photos of your ex, sharing a funny or unflattering picture of him is fair game. You can upload it to social media or ask a friend to post it for you. Another option is to print the photo and put it up around his neighborhood or places he frequents.
- For example, you could use a photo of your ex doing something silly or with a bad haircut.
- Don’t post any photos of your ex in revealing or inappropriate situations under any circumstances.
Warning: Be aware that your actions may turn into bullying if you continue posting pictures of him. If you choose to use this tactic, you should only post once.
Hide something of his when you go to his house to collect your things. Tell your ex that you need to pick up your belongings that you left behind while you were dating. When you arrive, hide something that you know he uses often, like the TV remote, his game controller, or his favorite Lego set. He’ll be frustrated until he finds the hidden item.
- Don’t take anything that belongs to him, as that would be stealing.
- Be careful not to damage the item while hiding it. For example, putting the remote between the couch cushions is fine, but don’t leave it behind the toilet where it could get wet.
- Hide the item somewhere he’ll eventually find it. For example, you could place it in a different kitchen drawer, but don’t stick it in the air conditioning vent.
Send a mysterious message to his new partner about the things he’s done. If your ex has moved on to someone new, you may feel heartbroken, especially if he betrayed you for them. Try not to take your anger out on his new partner, as they may not know anything about you. However, you can let them know about your ex’s past. Send them a message via email, social media, or text explaining what happened during your relationship with him.
- Create a fake profile on social media or use a one-time email address. If you want to send a message, consider using an app that lets you send messages from a fake contact list.
- You could text, "I heard you’re dating Liêm. You should know that when he met you, he was already in a relationship. He lied to his ex repeatedly. If I were you, I’d be cautious about him."
Let your ex face the consequences of his actions. This is a great way to get revenge without having to do anything. After hurting you, he may appear to be unaffected by his behavior. However, his actions will eventually catch up to him. You just have to sit back and watch him deal with the consequences.
- For instance, your ex might currently be in a blissful relationship with his new partner, the one he left you for. But eventually, everyone will realize he’s a cheater, and that will damage his reputation. Plus, their relationship probably started off poorly, so trust issues will arise between them. Keep these consequences in mind when you feel angry about what happened.
Show your ex that you don't need them anymore
Go out and have fun with your friends. After a breakup, it's common to want to curl up in bed and cry. While there's nothing wrong with that, it's important to get out and enjoy some happy moments. Invite your friends to do something fun and enjoy life. Post pictures of yourself having fun so everyone knows you're living your best life.
- For example, you could go skateboarding, bowl, play mini-golf, try out for a local theater group, host a game night, go to a bar, or sing karaoke.
Flirt with other guys whenever your ex is around. You may not be ready for a new relationship, but a little playful flirting doesn't hurt. People often desire what they can't have, so your ex might get jealous seeing you flirt with other guys. Compliment them or casually touch their arm or shoulder. When your ex notices, lean in closer to make it look more intimate.
- You can say things like, "You're so funny!" or "I really like your shirt."
Tip: Post photos of you with other guys on social media if you think your ex is watching. Even if these guys are just friends, your ex might get jealous and realize that you don’t need him anymore.
Appreciate all the good things in your life. It's tough to think positively right now because you're still feeling down after the breakup. To help you focus on the bright side, make a list of everything you're grateful for, and then share your gratitude with others by talking to your friends and posting online.
- You can post something like, "I'm so excited to showcase my artwork at Good Beans Coffeehouse!" or "I'm lucky to have such great friends, a puppy by my side, and a job I love."
Spend some time pampering yourself to feel beautiful. Wear your favorite outfit, style your hair, and apply makeup if you usually do. Treat yourself by getting a manicure or trying a new hairstyle, then take some great photos to post online for everyone to see. You can even invite friends to visit areas where you know your ex might be.
- Don't worry about changing yourself or fixing your looks. You're already amazing just the way you are!
Try something new to help you grow as a person. Sometimes you might feel lonely being by yourself, especially if you're used to having a partner. Use this free time to do something you've always wanted to try! Make a list of activities, hobbies, or interests you'd like to explore and start checking them off.
- For example, you could try out a new restaurant, learn to paint, pick up the guitar, or join a sports team for fun.
Avoid talking about your ex to make him think you've moved on. Your ex hurt you, and you might feel like telling everyone how terrible he is. However, doing this only shows that you're still thinking about him. Instead, avoid mentioning his name so people will think you've moved past him.
- If you need to vent, talk to a close friend. But remember, don't tell everyone you meet.
Dealing with the urge for revenge
Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Right now, your wounds might still be fresh, but that's okay. If you want revenge, it's understandable. Tell yourself that feeling this way is normal and let those emotions pass.
- You might say to yourself, "I'm so mad because he broke up with me just before Valentine's Day. I thought he really cared about me. I want him to suffer the way I am."
Advice: You might feel guilty for having thoughts of revenge, but there's no need to feel conflicted. Imagining revenge is a perfectly normal thought to have.
Imagine yourself taking revenge and the aftermath. The imagined act of revenge is often more satisfying than actually doing it. Picture yourself taking revenge on your ex, like spraying a message accusing him of wrongdoing on his lawn, or burning his favorite shirt. Revel in the feeling of satisfaction as you watch him suffer. Then, imagine the consequences if you actually carried it out.
- For example, let’s say your ex betrayed you. You might picture yourself spraying the words “traitor” on his car. Next, visualize him driving around feeling embarrassed and ashamed as others mock him. Then, think about the consequences of that act—like his mom getting angry and the possibility of being arrested for vandalism.
Find a relaxing activity to calm down and think clearly. You might be feeling angry right now, and that’s perfectly valid. However, try not to make any decisions while you’re overwhelmed with negative emotions. Do something that helps you relax and regain your composure.
- For instance, you could attend a yoga class, buy an adult coloring book to unwind, go for a walk outdoors, browse shops with a friend, or spend time with your dog.
Consider talking to your ex about your feelings if you think it would help. You may never want to see your ex again, but sometimes sharing your feelings with him can bring relief. If this makes you feel better, consider suggesting a conversation either in person or over the phone. When talking, use “I” statements to express how his actions hurt you.
- Using “I” statements makes it clear that you are focusing on your feelings without blaming the other person. For example, say “I feel like you disrespected me,” rather than “You didn’t respect me at all.”
- You might also say, “I feel that you’ve broken my trust. I’m really hurt by that.”
Another option: If you don’t want to talk, consider sending a message or email to your ex to express your feelings.
Feel sorry for your ex because he was terrible as a boyfriend. Right now, you might despise your ex, but viewing him as someone to pity could help you feel better about what happened. Try seeing him as weak or inadequate, a failure in the relationship. Think about how sad that must be for him.
- You could tell yourself, “He’s really pathetic for not being mature enough to break up with me before finding someone else,” or “He must be so lonely if he needed two girlfriends like that. I actually feel sorry for him.”
Advice
- Remember the saying, “The sweetest revenge is living a truly happy life.”
Warning
- Physical outbursts or retaliating against your ex through illegal actions may offer momentary satisfaction, but in the end, they could bring trouble your way.
- Do not share explicit or suggestive photos of your ex in an attempt to get back at him. This act is not only disrespectful, but it is also offensive and illegal.
- Revenge could end up making you feel more hurt. It might be best to focus on doing things that bring happiness to your life instead of trying to make him suffer.
