Buzz
If your parents enforce strict rules, dating can be quite challenging. Fortunately, there are ways to keep your parents satisfied while still pursuing your relationship. We’ll share some tips on how to spend time with your boyfriend, no matter how strict your parents are. Keep reading to discover creative ideas and stay connected with your loved one.
Steps
Tell your parents you’re going out with friends.
Make your parents believe you’re more focused on socializing than dating. Share a packed schedule of activities with friends. For example, if you plan to go bowling with your boyfriend, simply mention you’re hanging out with friends. Have your friends pick you up from a visible spot so your parents believe your story, and then you can meet your boyfriend afterward.
- Sticking mostly to the truth is often the easiest approach. If you’ve already asked to go out with friends, plan to spend half the time with them. This way, you’ll feel more at ease explaining things to your parents.
- If you want to dress up for your date, pack your outfit in a bag or backpack. Wear everyday clothes, like your school uniform, when leaving the house to avoid raising suspicions about your plans.
Say that you’re going to a study group.
Impress your parents with how responsible you are. Remind them about your heavy homework load and explain that you can’t handle it all alone. Mention that you’ve signed up for every study group possible. Remember to prioritize your studies, even while dating. When you bring home excellent grades, your parents will be more likely to support your choices.
- You can emphasize how many hours you spend on homework to make a strong impression. For example, say, “I spend 15-20 hours a week on homework!”
- You can also honestly express how exhausting the workload is. Try saying, “It’s draining to do all this homework alone. Working with others makes it more enjoyable.”
- You could even set a goal to study with your boyfriend, then relax together afterward. Your parents will be pleased to see your dedication to academics.
Change your boyfriend’s name in your phone.
Your parents won’t worry if they think you’re only talking to a classmate. Rename your boyfriend in your contacts, and avoid using romantic symbols like hearts (💕) or flames (🔥) next to his name. Simply replace his name with that of a close friend. For example, if you often chat with a friend named Hanh, use her name for your boyfriend. Your parents will assume you’re just close friends.
- Having two contacts under the same name is normal. Avoid leaving clues like “Hanh 2,” as it might spark curiosity if your parents happen to see it.
Avoid posting pictures of your boyfriend on social media.
This way, your parents will assume you’re not in a relationship. Post pictures of fun activities with friends, inspiring quotes, or your thoughts about the future. Avoid sharing any intimate photos with your boyfriend, and ensure you’re not tagged in any pictures with him. If your social media shows no signs of romance, your parents will think you’re not interested in dating.
- You and your boyfriend can also maintain privacy by not flooding social media with photos. Enjoy your dates without drawing unnecessary attention.
Talk about school subjects instead of chatting about your boyfriend.
Distract your parents from digging into your love life. Bring up random topics at different times of the day. For example, you could discuss historical events you learned in class during breakfast, then share your hopes and dreams over dinner. Your parents will be curious about your thoughts and happy to hear you talk.
- In the morning, you could say something like, “I didn’t realize how much I enjoy world history! We just learned about the spice trade…”
- At dinner, share your future aspirations. For instance, “I think I’ll double major in foreign languages and economics!”
- Studies show that young people can improve social skills and confidence by regularly conversing with their parents.
Plan dates in places where you won’t run into family acquaintances.
Choose locations your parents and their acquaintances don’t frequent to avoid the risk of being spotted. Think of places your parents or their friends wouldn’t visit, like an arcade, amusement park, or skate park popular with teens. Selecting spots less appealing to adults reduces the chance of being seen with your boyfriend.
- School is also a great place to meet your boyfriend, as you can chat freely during breaks.
- When your parents are at work, you can invite your boyfriend and a few mutual friends to hang out at someone’s house.
- You can also join extracurricular activities together. For example, sign up for a drama club, giving you plenty of time to spend together during rehearsals.
Only show affection to your boyfriend in private.
Only be affectionate with your boyfriend when no one is around. Avoid displaying intimacy online or in public places. This ensures you won’t face comments from parents, friends, or family acquaintances. Save hugs and kisses for moments when it’s just the two of you.
- Without judgment from parents or friends, you can focus more on each other.
- When alone with your boyfriend, hold his hand tightly and tell him how happy you are to see him.
- You can even say things like, “Sneaking a kiss without getting caught feels so exciting!”
Ask your parents about their views on dating.
Find out what values your parents prioritize. Ask them if they dated at your age, and even probe whether they think times have changed. Gauge if they’d allow you to date. If they say no, listen to their reasoning. Your parents will appreciate your willingness to listen and may become less strict.
- Start with something like, “Did you ever date when you were my age, Mom? Did you want to back then?”
- Hint that your generation is slightly different. For example, say, “It seems like students my age dating after school is pretty normal now. What do you think, Mom?”
- You can even test the waters by asking, “What if I actually had a boyfriend?”
Discuss balancing life with your parents.
Reassure your parents that you can handle all your responsibilities. List everything you prioritize, then share with them how you manage your time. Show them your grades, social activity schedule, and sleep routine. If your parents see how proactive you are, they’ll trust you can manage a relationship too.
- If you’re seriously involved in study groups, let your parents know. Explain that you have a support system of like-minded peers.
- Tell your parents you value your health. Knowing you take care of yourself physically and mentally will make them feel secure and respect your choices.
- Remind them that social connections are important, and you just want someone close to support you.
Volunteer together with your boyfriend.
Tell your parents you’re going to public places with him to do volunteer work. Bond with your parents and share your biggest aspirations, like your passion for cleaning beaches or helping at a soup kitchen. They’ll be thrilled to see you living purposefully. Invite your boyfriend along when volunteering. It’s romantic to have someone who’s both a partner and a teammate, and you’ll make a difference together.
- You can introduce him as a fellow volunteer rather than your boyfriend.
- Talk to your parents about the benefits of community service. For example, say, “I’ve not only gained confidence but also made friends and gained experience.”
- Remind them that you’re accumulating “community service hours,” which look great on college applications.
Share how much your boyfriend supports you.
Highlight all the good qualities of your boyfriend to make your parents like him. If you have a sweet story about how you met, share it. For example, maybe he tutored you in math, and you gradually developed feelings. Continue sharing how he’s helped you. Seeing his positive influence will make your parents more accepting.
- Tell your parents how he’s helped you achieve goals. For instance, “Since we started dating, I’ve been getting straight A’s in calculus!”
- Share how much he values you. For example, “He loves all my creative work and encouraged me to apply to the college we talked about!”
- Praise his character too. Say, “He’s so kind. Last year, he won the ‘Good Citizen’ award at school!”
