Buzz
Sliding your arm around your date is often the first move towards a cozy hug or, even better––a warm, passionate kiss. Whether you’re a confident woman who knows exactly how to make the first move or a guy searching for the best way to take the plunge, slipping your arm around their shoulders requires a blend of grace and confidence. You might want to practice a bit so it feels natural rather than forced.
Steps
Preparations
Make sure the moment is right to get closer. While wrapping your arm around your date isn't an overly forward gesture, it usually indicates you're ready to take your relationship to a deeper, more romantic level. Before you make this move, be certain that you're prepared to send out those signals! If it’s your first date, it could feel too fast, particularly if you’re keen on taking the time to truly get to know each other. And if you don’t feel a romantic connection but want to remain in the "friend zone," it’s better to avoid this move entirely to prevent sending mixed signals, which wouldn’t be fair to your date.
Look for signs that your date is comfortable. Are there any cues suggesting your date might be open to holding hands or getting closer? If you're paying attention, you might spot subtle signals that they’re ready for a more intimate gesture, like having you slip your arm around them. Recognizing these signs can give you the confidence you need to make the move!
Pick the right moment and setting. Timing is key––there are moments when it’s just not appropriate (like when he’s struggling with spaghetti or she’s in the middle of a shopping spree). On the other hand, some moments are perfect for making that move. Look for intimate settings and be patient––the right time will reveal itself. Ideal moments include:
- At the movies during a touching, emotional, or suspenseful scene. The reason this moment works so well is that it provides the right mix––dark surroundings, being close, possible emotional or scary scenes that invite comfort, cozy seating, and a natural avoidance of direct eye contact, which could break the magic of the moment. Just be careful not to misread the situation (such as trying to sneak your arm around during a risqué scene) or interrupt a thrilling action moment. Emotional or suspenseful scenes are usually your best bet.
- Walking together in the fresh air. If you're strolling side by side and chatting, this can be the perfect opportunity for a subtle arm-sneak. Wait for a meaningful or heartfelt conversation, steering clear of mundane topics or heated debates like politics. The best time might be when you're both admiring the beauty around you, like the lovely flowers on the sidewalk.
- While sitting together at a gathering or bar. If you're seated close to each other, an opportunity may arise when sharing drinks or snacks, like during a toast or a special moment. After raising your glass or making a speech, casually slide your arm behind their shoulders in a celebratory gesture.
Ensure you're close enough to avoid stretching. Sneaking your arm should never be a struggle or awkward! Find a comfortable spot where you're close enough to your date. Don’t attempt an arm sneak if it requires you to lean or lose balance––this could result in you using your date as support, which isn’t ideal. The best position is to be side by side, creating a natural closeness between you both.
If you're a bit shy or want to be subtle, combine the arm move with another action, making it feel effortless. For instance, offer your jacket if it’s chilly, and casually leave your arm resting there once you’ve draped it over their shoulders. Or engage in a conversation and seamlessly move your arm, saying something like "I just can’t get over how cute you are," while wrapping your arm around their back. Another option is window shopping, where as your date gazes at something, you might slip your arm around their back while discussing how fascinating the items in the window are.
Make it playful. Try something fun like asking your date, "If you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder (point to the one closest to you) or this one (point to the farthest)?" As your hand reaches the far shoulder, casually leave it there, draping your arm around their back. It’s an effortless way to connect!
- It can get even more intimate… Try saying, "If you were Casanova, would you kiss me on this cheek or this one..." See where it leads!
Be brave, but don't push it too far. If you're confident that the moment is right, trust your instincts and go for it. If your date pulls back, asks you to remove your arm, or looks uncomfortable, it's a clear sign that it’s either too soon or just not going to happen. Politely withdraw your arm with a brief apology, and suggest doing something else instead. The way your date responds could offer insights into how they’re feeling, and you may want to reflect on your relationship moving forward after some thought.
The classic yawn and arm drape move
The yawn/cough or stretch move might still work, but be aware it’s a classic trick that’s been overused in countless teen films. If you decide to try it, have a sense of humor, as you could easily get caught in the act. It’s shared here just in case you think you can pull it off.
Pick the right setting. You can try this move at the movies, in a cozy bar, or anywhere you're sitting close together. The key is to make sure it feels natural and fitting for the situation.
Wait for your date to feel relaxed. Look for signs that they’re settled in, not fidgeting or chatting nervously, and are enjoying the moment. This will indicate that they’re comfortable enough for you to make your move.
Start with a big yawn. Lift your hand to your mouth as if you're trying to stifle the yawn.
Follow the yawn with a stretch. Extend the arm closest to your date up into the air behind you as part of the stretch that comes after a yawn. Hold it there for about five seconds to sell the idea that you’re really just yawning.
As you bring your arm down, 'accidentally' let it rest on your date's shoulders instead of returning it to your side. And just like that, you've made your move.
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Be prepared to laugh at yourself. If your date catches on and asks if you’re trying to sneak your arm around them, just laugh it off and admit it, then go for it.
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Don’t worry if it doesn’t work perfectly, this happens all the time.
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If she’s into you, there’s really no reason to hold back. Just go for it.
The advice in this section comes from real experiences shared by Mytour readers like you. If you’ve got a helpful tip, feel free to submit it below on Mytour.
- Ask your date if they're feeling cold. If they say yes, casually wrap your arm around them and give a little chuckle, saying, "Is this better?" The worst thing that could happen is they might call you silly, but more likely, if they don't appreciate it, they'll simply move your hand. Either way, it will probably end with both of you sharing a good laugh.
- Ask if they'd like you to put your arm around them. If they're into you or just want the affection, they'll say yes. No need to force anything; consent is key in any relationship.
- For a fun twist, if you're outside stargazing, you could point and say, "Look, a shooting star!" As your hand sweeps across the sky, gently rest it on their shoulder.
Precautions
- Never attempt this move if you've just come from the gym, been sick in bed, or haven't had a shower in a while. The arm-around move might reveal more of your 'essence' than you’d like, and that ‘essence’ could be a funky smell.
- When you go for the move, make sure you settle your arm on their shoulders or mid-back. Never use this as an excuse to grab at your date’s backside—that could easily cross the line and be considered inappropriate until you're further along in your relationship.
