How to Handle a Breakup: Expert Advice on Coping with Heartache

Remain calm and consider saying something like, “I wish we could have made it work, but I respect your choice. I appreciate the time we've spent together.” You might also ask questions such as, “What do you think went wrong?” or “Is there something we could have done differently?”

• Repeating a reassuring phrase to yourself might help. Something like, “It’s going to be okay,” or, “This too shall pass,” can provide comfort, even if it's just in your mind.

• You could simply say, “Please give me a moment,” or, “I need a second to process this, I’ll be right back.”
• If you feel the need to leave the conversation, it’s okay. They are the one initiating the breakup, and you aren’t obligated to stay. However, if you have questions or things to express, leaving prematurely might leave you with regrets.

• You might say, “I’m really shocked by this, and I don’t understand why you’re doing this. I think I deserve to hear your reasons.”
• Alternatively, you could say, “I’m really upset right now. I thought things were going great between us. What went wrong?”
• Or, you could respond more composedly with something like, “I had a feeling this might happen. I understand, and maybe this is for the best.”

• Common questions might be, “Did you meet someone else?” or, “Why are you ending things with me?”
• It’s okay to ask, “Did I do something wrong?” but remember this opens the door for them to shift blame. Don't let them deflect—it’s not your fault they’re breaking up with you.
• You could ask, “What went wrong?” or, “What could we have done differently?”
• If applicable, now is a good time to talk about retrieving your belongings or sorting out the living arrangements if you share a home.

• You might say, “I’ll always cherish our time together, and I’m grateful for having had you in my life,” or, “I need some space, but I hope we can eventually be friends.”
• You may express, “I’m thankful for the time we shared, and while I wish this wasn’t happening, I believe I’ll emerge stronger from this.”
• If you’re feeling frustrated, you might say, “I’m being honest—I think you’re being unfair. The fact that you never tried to address this before ending things feels immature.”

• It’s natural to want to defend yourself and try to work things out, but this rarely leads to anything good. If they agree to stay, you’ll be in a relationship where it’s clear they wanted out, and if they refuse, you might feel worse for trying to talk them out of it.

• If you feel like discussing it, you might say, “This is not something that should be handled over text. If you want to end things, let’s have a conversation.”
• If you want to remain dignified, you could say, “I understand your decision. I’m grateful for the time we shared,” or, “Although I’m not thrilled that this is happening over text, I respect your choice. I’ll remember the good times.”
• If they are being especially harsh, you might just reply with “K,” or “Okay, when can I pick up my things?” If they choose to act immaturely, don’t engage further—they’ll likely regret it later.

• If you want to revisit the relationship or perhaps try being friends again, that’s okay. But it’s probably best to wait months, or even years, before attempting that. For now, just focus on yourself.
• There’s no set timeline. If you feel emotionally ready to reach out in a month, go ahead. If a year passes and you’re still not ready, that’s perfectly fine. And if you never feel ready to rekindle a friendship, that’s just as acceptable.
• Reader Poll: We surveyed 818 Mytour readers, and 51% said that the best way to handle social media post-breakup is by taking a break for a couple of weeks. [Take Poll]

• If you need to talk about the breakup, go ahead! There’s no harm in using your friends or family as a sounding board for your emotions.
• If dating again seems like it might help you heal, that’s perfectly fine! While jumping into a new relationship may not be wise right now, dating casually or meeting new people can be a healthy distraction.

• It’s important to remember that just because someone wants to end the relationship, it doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It’s easy to blame yourself, but they are the ones ending things, not you. Try not to internalize their decision too much.
• If you feel like crying, let yourself cry. Just be careful not to act out in destructive ways, like damaging things or getting physical. It may seem difficult now, but things will improve over time, so avoid doing anything that could cause harm to yourself or others.

• If you find it hard to cope alone, seeking professional help from a counselor or therapist can provide a lot of support.
• While substances like alcohol or drugs might offer temporary relief, they will only deepen your pain later on. It’s important to seek healthier coping strategies as you move through this difficult time.

• Refrain from “checking in” on their social media. This will likely just make you feel worse, and it won’t benefit you in any way. Consider either temporarily deleting your accounts or blocking them so their posts won’t be visible to you.
• Don’t attempt to make your ex feel better about ending the relationship. You’ll be busy processing your emotions so that you can heal after the breakup. Taking on the emotional burden of reassuring them can drain you, and you need your energy to focus on your own well-being.
• While throwing a public tantrum on social media may seem cathartic in the moment, you’re likely to regret it later on.