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No two individuals are the same. We vary in appearance, behavior, abilities, and even in our religious beliefs and personal values. While some can walk, see, hear, and speak with ease, others may require assistance from those around them to perform these tasks or do them differently. To cope with your own differences, you can embrace your unique qualities, build positive social relationships, and handle situations in a healthy manner.
Steps
Accept Your Unique Traits
Acknowledge that you are different. Accepting yourself will help you recognize your special characteristics and learn how to manage being different from others. Instead of trying to change yourself, you must first accept who you are and how you look.
- Start by identifying your unique qualities. For example: religion, culture, diet (such as being vegetarian), medical history, disabilities, or physical traits. Make a list of these "different" traits and consciously accept them. Review the list and say or think to yourself, "I accept my religion. It may differ from others', but that doesn't make it negative. I acknowledge my unique beliefs and values. They are just as important and wonderful as anyone else's."
- If you find yourself thinking negatively, "This makes me not good enough," about one of your unique traits, reflect on it: "No, I accept this. It's not something bad. It's a part of who I am."
- Distinguishing yourself from others when you feel different can help protect your self-esteem in certain situations. Tell yourself, "Yes, I am different. Yes, I am unique. I am cool and amazing, and no one can change that!"
Reorganize your unique traits. You might think your differences are flaws, but in reality, they make you special. Try to reflect on the significance of each unique trait.
- For example, if you have a physical disability, how has it helped you grow? What lessons have you learned, and what value have you gained from it? Many people struggle with life's lessons, especially appreciating and being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you lack.
- Avoid self-doubt. If you think, "I'm not good enough, I'm not beautiful, I'm not smart," change those thoughts to, "I am good enough as I am. I don't need to be the most beautiful or the smartest to feel happy about myself. I am who I am, and I love myself for it."
Acknowledge the similarities between you and others. Don't define yourself as entirely different from others. This can make you feel excluded, marginalized, or rejected. Instead, recognize the commonalities between you and others.
- For example, we are all human and share similar genetic structures. In fact, our genes are 98% similar to chimpanzees, so we're not that different from them. We are all living, breathing individuals.
- If you feel particularly different from someone, identify your similarities. They could be shared humanity, common interests, or language. You'll start to notice how alike you are in some ways.
Take pride in your roots. Being different isn't a bad thing—embrace the unique traits you've gained from your upbringing, culture, and family values.
- Find the positive aspects of your unique culture and focus on them. For example, cultural elements include language, religion, traditions, clothing, holidays, values, standards, gender roles, social roles, occupations, etc.
- If you dress differently or follow a different religion, it means you're interesting.
Build Positive Relationships
Boost your confidence. Positive relationships with others are crucial for coping with being different. We need social connections and a sense of belonging to foster positive well-being. People draw positivity and confidence from these connections. You need confidence to face fears and meet new people.
- Practice positive self-talk. Avoid blaming or putting yourself down. For example, if you think, "I'm such a failure! I can't do anything right!"
- Try meditation. Mindfulness meditation helps individuals become more non-judgmental and self-accepting. Simply pay attention to your surroundings. What colors or objects do you see? How are you feeling? What do you hear? Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.
- Everyone has something that makes them feel great and complete. So, do that. Buy nice clothes, sing, dance, act—do whatever makes you happy.
Find people who are similar to you. When you feel different and socially rejected, you can seek out groups that share your culture, ethnicity, religion, interests, disabilities, appearance, values, etc. People need to feel like they belong to a community to experience happiness and well-being.
- Join clubs or classes with like-minded individuals, such as science, math, film, singing, yearbook, or student government groups.
- Try playing school sports or recreational activities: basketball, volleyball, rugby, soccer, track, cross country, water polo, tennis, dance, or cheerleading.
- Explore Meetup.com to find groups that match your interests: hiking, painting, gaming, rock climbing, etc. Ensure the activities are safe, and if you're underage, make sure your parents or legal guardians are aware of your participation.
Be yourself. Authenticity is key to forming positive connections with others. No one wants to interact or connect with someone who is only putting on a facade. Embrace your unique self. Avoid changing who you are (how you speak or act) just to fit in.
- Shout when you want to (without getting into trouble), run around, and make up crazy songs. Do whatever you enjoy! Don’t change for anyone unless it’s something you genuinely want to do.
- If you’re quiet, you don’t need to talk more. If you’re a hippie, live like a hippie.
- Create your own style. If you genuinely like Abercrombie, wear their clothes, but don’t wear them just because others do. If you love jeans and skirts, wear them.
Dealing with Differences
Share information about yourself with others. Letting others know about your culture, values, and personality can reduce stigma or negative stereotypes when you have a unique identity. When people are informed, they are more likely to think openly and learn to accept diversity and differences in others.
- Start by having conversations about yourself with someone you trust and feel comfortable opening up to.
- The more you practice talking about yourself, your background, and your culture, the easier it will become.
Be assertive with bullies. Unfortunately, differences like disabilities or being overweight can sometimes lead to social rejection or bullying. If someone disrespects you or gives you a nickname, you can handle it appropriately by being assertive. Assertiveness means expressing your thoughts and feelings openly while respecting others.
- An example of assertiveness is using "I" statements. You can say, "I feel angry when you call me weird." Here, you focus on your feelings rather than the other person’s behavior. Their behavior is secondary to how you feel. You can add, "I’m different, but everyone is. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me weird. I respect you, and I hope you treat me fairly in return."
- Another way to be assertive is to set boundaries. For example, you can say, "I want you to stop calling me weird. If you continue, I’ll have to distance myself. I won’t tolerate being labeled."
- If you’re verbally or physically bullied, seek help from a teacher, counselor, or school principal.
Exploring the Lives of the 'Different'. Delve into the stories of Led Zeppelin, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King, or the hippie movement—there's a wealth of knowledge to uncover. To many, these individuals are seen as unique and extraordinary. They stand out from the crowd, embrace their differences, and many risked their lives to fight for their beliefs.
