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Change is an inevitable part of life, whether it's going through a breakup, moving to a different city, the passing of a loved one, or losing a job. Even positive changes, like having a child or starting a new career, can bring their own set of challenges. While change may be tough, there are strategies to help you manage it in a way that feels less overwhelming.
Steps to Follow
Managing Change
Recognize your emotions. If you’re feeling resistant to change or uneasy about it, it’s crucial to recognize those emotions. Don’t push them aside; instead, take time to listen to how you feel. Emotions are an essential part of self-awareness. By acknowledging an emotion, you can better understand and manage it. Think of it as telling yourself, “This feeling is normal, and I can handle it.”
- Change often brings with it anxiety, worry, and fear. It’s okay to experience these emotions.
- Take the time to process your emotions, even when the change is positive—like a wedding or moving to a dream destination. Recognize that there will be some emotional adjustments and give yourself space to navigate them.
- Try to identify and express your emotions, either through writing or speaking. For instance, you might say, “I’m feeling anxious and stressed because I have to relocate to a new city next week.”
Prepare yourself. No matter what kind of change you’re going through, there are steps you can take to get ready for the new circumstances. Think about what lies ahead and then explore ways to learn more about what you'll encounter.
- If you’re moving to a new city, state, or country, it’s helpful to gather as much information as possible about your new surroundings. If you're starting a new job, take time to learn about your role and responsibilities.
- Formulate a plan for how you’ll navigate the upcoming change. For instance, if you’re relocating, you could ask yourself: What local restaurants would you like to try? How will you get around? What interesting places can you visit?
- If you're in a situation you want to change, like disliking your new job, consider making a plan to change it. For example, you could search for jobs that match your interests, apply to various openings, and attend job fairs.
Create a mental script. When facing a change that is beyond your control, it can be difficult to accept. However, you can work toward acceptance by creating a positive mental script to reassure yourself.
- For example, when feeling anxious or upset about an upcoming change, you might remind yourself, “I don’t like this change, but it’s out of my control. I may not enjoy this, but I will accept it and make the best of it.”
Remember, you control your reactions. Change can shake things up, but you still have the power to decide how to respond. You can choose to react with frustration and lash out at others, or you can view the situation as an opportunity and approach it with enthusiasm.
- Many people find that making lists helps reduce anxiety and boost mood. If you're feeling down about the situation, try listing the positive aspects. For instance, after a breakup, you might focus on the benefits, like more free time, a chance to rediscover yourself, or an opportunity to spend more time with loved ones.
Reducing Anxiety Around Change
Write about your concerns. Change can bring up a lot of uncertainty, fears, and negative thoughts. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, jot down everything that’s adding to your stress. Writing it down can help you realize that things might not be as bad as they seem.
- If you're adjusting to life with a new puppy and feeling overwhelmed by the changes, try writing down what’s changed and what’s challenging for you. You can also brainstorm possible solutions, like creating a schedule to manage the new responsibilities.
Connect with others who have experienced similar changes. Talking to someone who’s been through a similar situation can be reassuring. Whether you’re starting college, becoming a parent, or transitioning to a new career, it can be comforting to hear from someone who has navigated those changes and came out okay.
- Seek advice on how to successfully manage the changes you’re facing.
- If you're going through a divorce, connect with others who are either going through it or have already overcome it.
Embrace uncertainty. Constantly worrying about all the changes around you can prevent you from enjoying the present moment. Worrying doesn’t help you predict or control the future, nor does it prepare you to handle what’s coming.
- Accept that you’re in a phase of transition and that change is a natural part of life. Remind yourself, “I acknowledge the changes happening, and how I choose to deal with them is up to me.”
Take time to relax. Relaxation is key to managing stress and supporting your emotional well-being. Practices like meditation, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce stress and help you cope more effectively.
- For progressive muscle relaxation, begin by finding a comfortable spot to sit or lie down. Start with your right fist: tense it for a few seconds, then release. Move up your body, repeating the process for your right forearm, shoulder, left arm, and so on, until you've relaxed every part of your body, including your face, neck, and feet.
Engage in physical activity. Exercise is a powerful tool for managing stress and lowering anxiety. Treat your body, mind, and emotions by incorporating movement into your routine. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days.
- Go for a walk with your dog, ride your bike to run errands, or take a hike after work. You can also try dancing, running, or hitting the gym for a more intense workout.
Giving Yourself Time to Adapt
Recognize that new patterns of living will take time. Change can be jarring because it disrupts the stability you’ve worked hard to create. All your routines and habits are questioned when change occurs, making it important to take things slow and gently ease into the new phase. Understand that any change requires time to adjust; be patient with yourself as you navigate significant life transitions.
- Allow yourself the necessary time to recover. For instance, if you're mourning the loss of someone, whether human or a pet, recognize that how you grieve and how long that process takes are entirely your decisions. Others cannot rush you, no matter their insistence.
EXPERT ADVICE
Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist
Licensed Psychotherapist
Emotions reflect the ongoing story of our lives. There are times when we find ourselves in an unfamiliar emotional state or undergoing change without understanding why. Allow yourself the space to sort through these emotions and make sense of this chapter of your journey.
View change as a chance for growth. Change provides an opportunity to reassess your life and evaluate whether you've been making choices that truly serve your happiness, or if you've been sacrificing too much (time, money, effort) for a lifestyle that doesn't bring you joy. Although change can be challenging, it often comes with unexpected benefits.
- Find ways to make the process of change enjoyable by rewarding yourself for milestones. For example, treat yourself to ice cream after completing physical therapy, or reward yourself with a small treat whenever you save up $100.
Leave behind complaining and blame. While it's natural to vent during the initial stages of a difficult change, constantly complaining and blaming others won't help in the long run. Friends and family will offer their support, but it’s crucial to maintain a positive attitude to reduce stress and manage the challenges of change.
- Look for the positive aspects of your situation. If you find it hard to see the silver lining, ask someone else to help you notice it. Remember that change often creates opportunities for future growth that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.
Release the past and embrace forward movement. Dwelling on the past won’t help you move on with your life. Wishing for things to return to the way they were or longing for your ‘old life’ is not productive.
- Instead of holding on to the past, focus on the future by creating things to look forward to. Try something new, like enrolling in a painting class, going ice skating, or planning a trip to a new city.
- If you find yourself continually stuck in the past and it’s hindering your progress, consider reaching out to a therapist to help you work through these feelings and move forward.
Recognizing Adjustment Disorder
Reflect on your circumstances. Adjustment disorder typically develops within three months after experiencing a major stressful change. This could be a positive or negative change that significantly impacts your life, such as moving to a new place, getting married, losing a job, or the death of a family member.
Assess your symptoms. People with adjustment disorder often experience psychological symptoms that can assist a mental health professional in making a diagnosis. Some of these symptoms include:
- Intense stress. Individuals with adjustment disorder tend to feel stress that is far more overwhelming than expected for the situation. For example, someone who has just purchased a new home may experience extreme stress even after the move is complete and the house is settled into.
- Challenges in daily functioning. Those with adjustment disorder may struggle to perform in social, professional, or academic settings. For instance, someone recently going through a breakup may find themselves unable to engage in normal conversations with friends.
Consider the duration of your symptoms. The symptoms of adjustment disorder typically do not persist for more than six months. If your symptoms continue beyond this period, it's unlikely that you have adjustment disorder. In that case, another mental health condition might be contributing to your feelings and symptoms.
Consult with a therapist. If you suspect that you may have adjustment disorder, seeking therapy is a crucial step for a professional diagnosis and support. Even if you are uncertain about whether adjustment disorder is the cause of your emotional struggles, a therapist can help uncover the underlying issues and guide you toward the right treatment path.
