How to Handle It When a Girl Cancels on You

It's tough when you've been looking forward to a date, only to find out that your plans have been called off. Staring at your phone, you might be asking yourself, what should I even say to this? Maybe you’re questioning whether she's still interested. Or maybe you're overwhelmed with all sorts of thoughts racing through your mind. The truth is, everyone faces this situation at some point, so take a deep breath and know that there are plenty of ways to respond when a girl cancels. Keep reading to find the response that feels right for you!

If you believe her excuse is sincere, don’t hesitate to propose a new day. While it’s frustrating to have plans fall through, remember that life happens, and things can unexpectedly come up. If she seems apologetic and you still like her, you’ve got nothing to lose by offering her another shot.

• "Ah, no worries! Work can be a lot. How about we try for next Friday instead? 😇”
• "Bummer! Hope everything's okay. I’m free Tuesday and Thursday next week—let me know if you'd like to grab dinner then! 🌮”
• "Totally get it. I enjoy chatting with you, so I’d love to reschedule if you’re up for it. Just let me know when you’re free next week. 🤠”

If you're unsure about her feelings, put the decision in her hands. By letting her take the lead in rescheduling, you’ll get a better sense of how she truly feels about you. If she doesn’t reach out to make new plans, it’s likely she wasn’t really interested. But if she quickly suggests a new time, trust that she had a genuine reason for canceling the original date.

• "Ah, that’s a shame! Let me know if you’re free next week to try again. 😬”
• "No big deal. I’ll let you take the lead on when we can reschedule! 😉”
• "No worries at all. If you’re up for hanging out this weekend, let me know. If not, that’s cool too!"

Sometimes, all she might need is a little more time to get ready. Whether she’s running late, feeling nervous, or has had something unexpected come up, she may not want to ask you to wait—though deep down, that’s what she wants! If you’re still into her and just want the date to happen, offering flexibility with the timing could work in your favor.

• "No rush, but would it help if we met up in a couple of hours? Totally fine with me! 😸"
• "Dinner reservations are so overrated anyway! If your schedule clears up later, let me know, and we can go for a picnic instead! 🥪"

Girls appreciate a good sense of humor, so keep things light with a joke. Humor is incredibly attractive, and if you’re wondering whether she canceled because she’s unsure of how she feels about you, making her laugh is one of the best ways to improve your chances. Plus, it shows that you can stay positive and handle unexpected situations with ease, which she’ll definitely appreciate.

• "Guess I’ll just have to settle for date number two (Megan Fox). 🙄"
• "No worries! I was looking forward to it, but at least this means I don’t have to change out of my footsie pajamas. 😎"

Use a warm tone if you’d like to keep the door open for future plans. It can be tough to stay positive when you’ve just been let down, but if you still want to make a reschedule happen, showing your understanding can really work in your favor.

• "No need to apologize! It happens to everyone. Take care of what you need to, and let me know when you’re free again. 😘”
• "Don’t stress, I get it! I’d still love to see you sometime, so let’s stay in touch. 😋”

It’s okay to be honest, but don’t overdo it. When a girl cancels, sometimes it’s best to keep your feelings a bit more guarded. This was probably a date you were really excited about, and it’s fine to express that, but try not to send anything that could make her feel pressured. Here are some examples of messages that could make her hesitant to reschedule.

• "Are you serious? I was so pumped for this date. You don’t even know how much I was looking forward to it. 😭”
• "I thought my week was bad before, but now it’s just gone downhill.”
• Instead, try something more casual yet honest: “No worries, I was excited for it, but I just got an invite to the movies. Talk soon! 😊”

SHARE YOUR OPINION

Do you believe it’s worth giving someone a second chance to reschedule after they cancel?

If you're feeling hurt, you might want to retaliate. It’s important to resist this urge. If her excuse was real and she would have eventually rescheduled, you’re only sabotaging your chance to continue dating her. Also, you’ll feel better about yourself in the long run if you handle the situation with maturity.

• Don’t try to make her feel jealous by posting or sending pictures with other girls.
• Don’t send a spiteful message just to get back at her.

Don’t hesitate to assert yourself when necessary. If she’s already canceled a few times or worse—flaked on you after you were already at the restaurant—it’s time to speak up. Anyone you date should respect your time as much as you respect theirs. It’s totally okay to politely express your expectations. If you’re willing to give her another shot but feel like your needs aren’t being met, it’s perfectly fine to communicate that.

• "I totally understand, but I’m pretty busy too, and I really value my time (and yours). Anyone I date will have to be just as mindful of that!"
• "I just want to be honest—I don’t have the luxury of being stood up regularly. I like you and would love to meet up, but if this continues, I’ll have to move on!"

Everyone has their limits, and it’s okay to set yours. Maybe you just can’t deal with someone who frequently cancels plans. And that’s perfectly fine! If you feel it’s not the right fit, be honest and let her know. You can be truthful without being disrespectful.

• "Hey, I think it’s best for me to step back now. I wish you all the best, though."
• "I get it, but I know myself. I can’t date someone who’s flaky. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing!"

If she cancels and you're feeling frustrated, take a few hours to cool off. Waiting before responding will help you come from a place of calm. You’ll avoid saying something in the heat of the moment that you may later regret. Additionally, waiting a bit to reply could give the impression that you’re not overly affected by her flakiness, which might actually make you more intriguing to her!

If she’s not valuing your time, it’s okay to walk away. If she’s canceled multiple times, offered weak excuses, and never seems truly sorry, it’s probably time to move on. And that’s completely fine. The key now is to maintain your self-respect and do what’s best for you.

• Though it may be tempting to send a snarky, vengeful message, resist the urge. You have enough self-respect to stay above that. Sometimes, no reply is the most powerful reply!