How to Handle Someone Who Uses Profanity

Stay composed. Don’t react with anger just because the customer is being immature and expressing their frustration in an unhealthy manner. For example, if you're speaking to a customer on the phone, avoid hanging up when they start using profanity. Reacting angrily could escalate the issue, making both you and the customer even more upset than before.

• Monitor your volume and tone. Respond with a calm and even tone when dealing with irate customers.
• Be aware of your emotions. If you feel unable to handle a call, inform the customer that you’ll transfer them to a manager or another colleague. You could say, “I’m going to connect you with someone who can assist you more effectively.”
• It’s easier to ignore or forgive swearing related to a product, company, or service than it is to forgive personal insults. Regardless, stay composed and avoid responding with anger.
• Remember, the upset customer doesn’t know you personally, and you did not cause their problem. Don’t let their bad language unsettle you or make you feel personally responsible, angry, or incapable.

Validate their emotions to help calm them down. Often, an angry customer feels ignored or dismissed, which leads them to lash out. Acknowledging their feelings can make them feel heard and understood, helping to diffuse their anger. Here are some phrases you can use to validate their emotions:

• "I can see you're really upset."
• "That sounds incredibly frustrating."
• "I understand, that definitely seems like a serious issue. What can we do to fix it?"
• "I’m sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds like a tough situation."

Explain to the customer that swearing won't resolve their issue. When frustration boils over, some customers forget their manners. Gently remind them that while you empathize, cursing won’t help resolve the issue they’re facing.

• "I understand your frustration. However, cursing at me won’t solve your problem."
• "I know this situation is tough. I’m here to help, but swearing won’t make it better."
• "I find it difficult to assist when there’s shouting. If you'd like help, please lower your voice or we can continue when you're calmer."

Warn the customer that continued profanity will result in no help. Make it clear that if the customer keeps swearing, assistance won’t be provided.

• "I’m afraid I can’t assist you if you continue to curse at me."
• "I’m sorry, but your behavior is intimidating others, and I cannot help you under these conditions. Please lower your voice or leave the premises."

Disconnect the call if the customer ignores the warning. In extreme situations, hanging up may be the best option. While the customer might call back angrier, sometimes ending the conversation gives them space to calm down.

• Be polite when ending the call. A phrase like, “I’m going to hang up now as I do not want to be cursed at. I hope the rest of your day goes better,” is respectful but clear. Keep it brief.
• Stick to your warning and follow through with the disconnection if needed.

Seek assistance when facing a threatening customer. If a customer continues to curse and becomes threatening, notify the authorities. When safe, leave to make the call. Explain the situation to the police, and if the customer leaves before they arrive, provide as many details as possible. Never engage or provoke the threatening individual.

• Avoid yelling, threatening, or escalating the situation with a customer who is threatening you. This could increase their anxiety and worsen the conflict.
• If you suspect the customer is carrying a weapon, do not announce, “I’m calling the police.” Doing so may escalate the situation further.
• If you feel threatened, find a safe exit or hiding spot as soon as possible. If the exit is blocked, look for areas like under counters where you can hide. Contact the police as soon as you have the chance.

Discuss the incident with your colleagues. Different workplaces have different protocols when it comes to handling cursing customers. It may help to write down everything that occurred for future reference or for an official report. You might also want to speak with your supervisor to get advice on how to handle similar situations moving forward.

• If you're in a call center, you could note the details of the call in the customer's account, outlining what happened and how you dealt with it.
• At a physical location, consider informing your coworkers about the encounter, especially if the customer might return and become confrontational again.

Politely ask your coworker to reduce their language. Most people don't intend to create tension at work, and they will likely be receptive if you kindly point out that their swearing is bothering you. Be direct but courteous.

• “Peggy, the language you’re using makes me uncomfortable. Could you please tone it down a bit? I’d really appreciate it.”

Firmly request that anyone cursing at you stop immediately. Cursing at a coworker is a clear sign of disrespect, and verbal abuse is unacceptable in any professional setting. Remain calm, even if you're upset or intimidated, and stand your ground.

• "Please don’t talk to me like that. I don’t speak to you that way, and I don't deserve it."
• "I need you to stop cursing at me right now."
• "I’ve asked you three times to stop. This is creating a stressful environment, and I will go to HR if necessary."

Assess your relationship with your coworker. Friends at work often communicate differently than those who aren't close. You might notice more casual language and even some swearing if you're friends with a coworker. For example, after working together for a while, a coworker may speak to you more informally and use profanity in conversation, which could indicate they consider you a friend.

• If this makes you uncomfortable, be honest about it. Say something like, "Cursing makes me uncomfortable. Please don’t use that language around me." If they value your friendship, they’ll likely respect your wishes.

Raise your concerns with your manager or HR. If a particular coworker is making you uncomfortable by using inappropriate language, informing your manager could lead to the coworker being disciplined or even dismissed for creating a hostile work environment. It’s important for employees who feel intimidated by a coworker’s behavior (such as swearing) to proactively bring their concerns to management.

• Keep a detailed log of the coworker's actions, noting dates, descriptions of the incidents, and how you responded. This documentation can serve as valuable evidence.
• If your immediate supervisor isn’t responsive, consider reaching out to your workplace’s human resources department. Sometimes, escalating the issue is necessary to get results.
• If the company fails to act, consulting a lawyer might be your next step. Legal action regarding hostile work environments is often taken very seriously.

Remain composed when your child uses bad language. It’s important not to overreact by yelling at or frightening your child. If your child learns that swearing gets a strong reaction from you, they might use it to provoke you in the future. Similarly, avoid laughing when your child curses, as this can send the message that such language is acceptable, encouraging them to repeat it for humor's sake.

Inquire why your child used a curse word. Children may swear for various reasons. They could be seeking attention, expressing frustration, or imitating others. After hearing your child swear, ask them, “Why did you use that word?” to understand their motivation.

• They may have overheard the word and didn’t realize it was inappropriate.
• They could be feeling ignored and using swearing as a way to grab your attention.
• They might be angry and expressing their emotions through cursing.
• They could be mimicking someone else’s behavior.

Ask your child where they learned the curse word. Children often pick up language from others—whether from adults, peers, or media. Have a conversation with them about what makes a positive role model.

• Discuss with your child what they can do if someone swears around them or directs cursing at them in the future.
• Avoid engaging in power struggles. For example, telling your child they can't be friends with someone who curses may only make them more resistant. Instead, engage them in a conversation about that person and how they feel about the cursing.
• Have an open dialogue about their thoughts on swearing in TV shows, songs, or movies. Ask them what they think is appropriate behavior and what constitutes a bad role model. Open communication can foster understanding and help guide their decision-making.

Kindly guide them toward a better approach. Children often lack the emotional maturity that adults have, so they may turn to you for advice. You can help them learn more constructive ways to deal with their emotions.

• If the child didn’t realize they were using a curse word, explain its inappropriateness. If they become embarrassed or upset, reassure them that they didn’t know, so there’s no reason to be upset with them. Now that they know, they can avoid using it in the future.
• If they felt lonely or ignored, suggest alternative ways to seek your attention, like saying "I’m lonely" or inviting you to spend time together. Make sure to respond positively when they do this, so they understand it’s a better approach than swearing.
• If the child is angry, discuss healthier ways to express anger. Encourage them to say "I’m angry!", punch a pillow, rip up a drawing, or engage in physical activity. Set a good example by using healthy coping methods when you’re upset.
• If they’re imitating someone else, talk about how swearing might affect others. Ask if they’ve ever been hurt or frightened by someone swearing at them. Discuss who makes a better role model and the alternatives to swearing.

Clarify what kind of language is unacceptable. In addition to explaining that curse words are not allowed, also make it clear that name-calling, shouting, and a harsh tone are inappropriate. Encourage your child to ask questions to ensure they understand your expectations about language. Be specific about the consequences they’ll face if they use inappropriate language in the future.

• Explain why certain words are offensive, for example, "bad words" can upset many people. If you’re religious, you might also tell them that these words are forbidden by your faith.

Avoid giving long lectures. When you dominate the conversation without letting the child speak, they might tune you out. Instead of lecturing, aim for an open conversation where the child can express their feelings and thoughts without being immediately judged.

Don’t rely solely on punishment. Reacting immediately with punishment might make the child feel unheard or unloved. Start by explaining the rules and discussing why they cursed and how to handle it differently next time. If they understand, punishment might not even be necessary.

• Talk to your child about how they could make amends if they upset someone. This type of positive discipline can help them feel better about themselves. You might ask them for ideas on how to apologize, like drawing a picture, singing an "I'm sorry" song, or doing something nice for the person they upset. Let them choose the best way.
• Avoid using time-outs, grounding, or suspension of privileges too frequently, as these can make the child feel "bad" rather than giving them a chance to learn from their mistakes.
• Never use physical punishment, like slapping or spanking. This will hurt your relationship and could lead to more behavioral issues, including making the child more likely to hit others.

Ensure the child receives plenty of positive attention unrelated to their swearing. Sometimes children act out simply because they crave attention. By providing more quality time with you and other caregivers, they may stop swearing on their own.

Have an honest discussion with a child who keeps breaking the rules. When a child acts out, it may signal that they are struggling with feelings of fear, loneliness, or overwhelm. Ask them to explain their actions. If they don’t know, keep the conversation going until you can uncover what’s wrong.

• Sometimes, a child might simply need to cry to release bottled-up emotions. Be there for them by listening and comforting them. Holding them or sitting beside them during this time can make a big difference.
• If your child is experiencing ongoing challenges, it might be helpful to involve a therapist to guide them through their struggles.

Distinguish between aggressive and non-aggressive swearing. Swearing is a common part of many people's language. While it is generally considered inappropriate in polite society, it can sometimes serve as a release or an expression of frustration. If someone is directing swearing at you or others, it’s natural to feel offended. However, if swearing is used to emphasize a point or express general dissatisfaction, it’s usually not a reason to get upset. In moments of anger, people may use curse words to cope. Try to understand where they are coming from and consider that non-aggressive swearing is just part of human communication.

Understand that Tourette Syndrome (TS) may cause involuntary swearing. Tourette Syndrome is a neurological disorder that causes involuntary movements or sounds, including the utterance of curse words. If someone with TS swears, it's important to recognize that they are not doing so intentionally, and the best approach is to simply ignore the outburst.

• In addition to swearing, people with TS might have other tics, such as grimacing, unusual blinking, or touching their face repeatedly. These tics can occur in cycles.
• It’s important to be aware that the person with TS might feel embarrassed by their inability to control these tics. Instead of reacting to the swearing, try to continue your conversation as naturally as possible.
• Approximately 100,000 people in the United States are affected by TS.

Report to the authorities if necessary. In some places, swearing in public is considered illegal. If you encounter someone using foul language in public, you can call the non-emergency line of your local police department or alert an officer to the situation.

• Typically, the person using offensive language may receive a fine, which can vary depending on the locality. In some areas, the fine can be as high as $500.

Submit a complaint to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regarding inappropriate language in public communications. The FCC oversees the regulation of profanity in various forms of media. If you come across a talk show host using offensive language, or if you experience cursing during a phone call, you have the option to file a complaint with the FCC. To do so, you’ll need the call sign of the radio station or the name of the individual involved, the location (city and state) of the broadcast or phone call, and the exact date and time of the incident.

• The fastest way to file your complaint is by visiting https://consumercomplaints.fcc.gov/hc/en-us, then selecting the “File Complaint” option under either TV or radio.
• You’re not required to submit a recording or transcript of the program or call, but if you have one, you may send it along. Please note that it will not be returned.