How to Handle Temptation

Recognize potential temptations. Temptation is often tied to self-control, and the situations that tempt you usually revolve around the conflict between immediately satisfying your desires and your long-term goals. For example, if you're trying to lose weight, you might crave a delicious piece of cheese cake tempting you from the store's display case. The desire for instant satisfaction could make you give in to temptation and eat the cake. However, giving in would hinder your long-term goal of becoming healthier by avoiding sugary foods.

• Another example could be if you're in a romantic relationship, you should be aware of individuals who may tempt you into cheating on your partner. They could be an ex suddenly reappearing, a colleague, or someone you interact with in a private setting.
• However, temptation isn't always obvious. For instance, imagine you're a sales employee wanting to leave work early a few Fridays each month. Leaving early a couple of times may not seem like a big deal, but it might cause your boss to think you're irresponsible, which could negatively impact your long-term goals, such as receiving rewards or promotions.

Avoid Temptation. Make it easier to resist temptation by steering clear of the triggers. For instance, if you're trying to quit smoking, avoid places where you typically smoke. You can even avoid meeting up with people who smoke with you.

• If you're tempted to drink alcohol, your company's annual party at the bar will test your willpower. Be cautious of hidden temptations and stay away from them whenever possible. This way, you'll stay alert and ready to deal with temptation when it arises.
• If you can't completely avoid a particular situation or person, try to control the situation so that it's harder for you to act on your impulses. For example, if you're tempted to secretly have an affair with a friend, you could avoid being alone with that person. If you must meet with them, try to go with a group of people.

Be Honest. When turning down someone or something tempting, don't feel guilty or resort to lying. Be truthful about why you're refusing. This will strengthen your resolve in the future and might even help reduce temptation.

• For example, if you're tempted to cheat on your partner and someone you're interested in invites you out, you should honestly decline by saying that you're already in a relationship. Once the person knows this, they'll likely stop pursuing you in the future.

Visualize Resisting Temptation. In this approach, you imagine yourself acknowledging or touching the tempting object before setting it down and walking away. The more vividly you can visualize the experience, the better. For example, if you're trying to avoid sweets, imagine holding a chocolate bar. Picture yourself smelling it, touching it, and then putting it down.

• Once you've practiced enough, you might even be able to intentionally resist temptation. You could visit a store and confront the temptation directly. However, this technique is ineffective for addictions such as drugs or alcohol. Imagining giving in or encountering the trigger could create an association and make resisting harder.

Think About the Long-Term Consequences. It's easy to focus on the immediate gratification when you're craving something. Take a moment to consider the long-term consequences before giving in to temptation. In some cases, such as cheating on a partner, the long-term repercussions are significant and serious. You may hurt someone you love, erode trust, and possibly destroy your relationship. However, we're often surrounded by what researchers call 'low-cost temptations'—small things that seem harmless but add up over time to cause big consequences. People often struggle to resist these temptations because they appear insignificant.

• For example, smoking one cigarette or eating a small piece of cheese may not lead to immediate negative consequences. However, smoking one cigarette could make you want to smoke more, increasing the overall risk. Even a single cigarette can harm your body immediately and raise your chances of developing diseases like cancer.
• Try to view your actions in a broader context. A small piece of cheese won't harm you, but if you're avoiding sugar to become healthier, eating it will hinder your long-term goal. Over time, if you continue to give in to temptation, the excess calories will accumulate in your body. Thinking this way, rather than focusing on isolated instances, can help you improve self-control.
• You may also notice that visualizing the long-term consequences can help you build resistance. For example, if you're tempted to smoke, you can imagine yourself as a cancer patient going through chemotherapy. Picture the awful feelings, the expense of treatment, and the emotional pain it causes your family.

Distract Yourself. Sometimes, resisting temptation can make it more difficult to avoid it. Instead, research shows that distracting yourself by engaging in an enjoyable activity or focusing your mind on something else can help you resist temptation. You could meditate, do yoga, go for a run, or meet up with friends. Whatever you choose, immerse yourself fully in the activity.

• You could also engage in tasks that focus on helping others. Direct your attention towards people who care about you, rather than focusing on yourself. This method will help you stop thinking about the temptation.
• Creating a 'distraction plan' is a good idea. For example, if you're tempted to smoke, tell yourself that you'll get up and take a short run instead. This action serves as a distraction and also improves your health.

Don't Allow Yourself to Choose. If you're tempted by something, don't give yourself the option to choose whether to give in or avoid it. By removing the option from the situation, you'll have no choice but to reject everything that's tempting you.

• For example, if you're tempted to cheat on your partner, avoid flirting with the colleague you're attracted to. Since you know you don't want to betray the one you love, don't act as if you're interested in the other person.
• Another example is if you're struggling to stick to a low-sugar diet prescribed by your doctor, you could decline an invitation to a party that might be filled with sugary snacks and high-calorie foods. However, this action might limit your ability to socialize, so think carefully if this is the approach you truly want to take.

Create a Specific Plan. Make intentional plans for yourself, such as 'Today, I won't order cheesecake for lunch to stick to my healthy eating habits. I'll choose an apple instead' or 'I'll only have one beer at the party tonight and ask my partner to remind me if I want to have another one.' Stating your plan clearly helps you focus on your long-term goals rather than seeking immediate gratification.

• Creating plans with 'if-then' statements can be very effective. For example, you might face a temptation like this: 'If someone offers me a piece of cake at the party, I'll politely say, 'Thanks, but I can't eat that, I'm trying to control my sugar intake,'' then I'll strike up a conversation with someone nearby.'

Ask for Help. If you find it difficult to say no to something, such as a cigarette or a piece of cake, you can ask your partner or a friend to prevent you from getting them. This strategy will hold you accountable to someone else and remove the choice from your hands.

• For example, if you're at a party and trying to control your alcohol intake, you can ask your companion to remind you about your plan after you've had one drink.

Using technology can help you hold yourself accountable. You can use mobile apps or computer programs to track your habits. If you're trying to curb unnecessary spending, budget management software can help you monitor your expenses. Similarly, if you're managing your weight, you can use apps to track the foods you consume.

• Tech devices also allow you to pinpoint moments when you're most likely to give in to temptation. For example, you may realize that you're more prone to indulgence on weekends.

Challenge others to help yourself stay on track. If you're tempted and know someone else is also trying to avoid something, you can challenge them to compete with you. For instance, if you're struggling to exercise more, you can challenge a friend to see who can lose more weight or spend more time in the gym. A friendly competition might be just the thing to keep you accountable (to yourself and others).

• Be sure to agree on the terms of the challenge before starting.

Practicing gratitude can help you appreciate what's truly important in life. Focusing on these things can reduce the desire for other things.

• Try writing down things you're grateful for every day. Keep the list with you and read it whenever you feel tempted.

Develop skills through regular practice. Research shows that even as an adult, you can enhance self-control through practice. These exercises also help improve effectiveness and reduce impulsivity. Similar to physical muscles, the muscles of self-control grow stronger with consistent training.

• Another way to practice is by consciously changing or breaking your regular habits. For example, if you always brush your teeth starting with the right side, make a conscious effort to start from the left side.
• Establishing daily routines is a great way to practice. You could create a plan to wake up at 7:30 a.m. every day, even on weekends, and eat a cooked breakfast instead of grabbing a quick donut. As you practice this, you'll be able to build your self-control skills.
• You can also try developing self-control in a more meaningful way, such as planning to ride a bike to school instead of driving. Setting goals and sticking to them can help you strengthen the "muscles" of self-control.

Pay attention to your self-control energy levels. Just like physical energy, self-control can 'run out.' When you exercise, your muscles eventually tire, making it hard to lift weights or run long distances. The same happens with your brain when you practice decision-making skills.

• Studies show that students who had to exercise self-control in one task performed worse on the next task compared to those who hadn't exerted their 'self-control muscles.' So, if you're heading to a party with lots of tempting sweets, make sure you're not also having lunch near an open box of donuts. The constant battle against temptation can wear you out.
• The same research found that decision-making can impact your self-control ability. If you know you'll face a situation requiring tough decisions, like a stressful meeting at work, try to avoid situations that demand you resist temptation that same day. For example, you might want to skip a big party in the evening if you know you'll need to make some important decisions that day.

Eating well is crucial for maintaining self-control. While food can be a significant temptation, healthy eating habits can help preserve your self-control reserves. A study revealed that students who had recently eaten performed better on self-control tasks than those who hadn't had a meal and had unstable blood sugar levels.

• Even a quick snack, like a glass of lemonade or a slice of fruit, can help boost your blood glucose levels and improve your self-control.
• Eating foods high in fiber, such as beans, oats, potatoes, and vegetables, helps stabilize your blood sugar rather than causing spikes or drops. They also take longer to digest, keeping you feeling full for longer and making it easier to resist food-related temptations.

Stress can quickly drain your self-control reserves. There are many ways to cope with stress:

• Practice daily relaxation techniques, such as yoga or tai chi.
• Meditation can be helpful for many in relaxing.
• Deep breathing exercises are useful and can be done anywhere, at any time.
• Ensure you get enough rest. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night and keep a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends.

• Some people are more susceptible to temptation than others, but anyone can practice and succeed in using willpower to resist it.