How to Handle the Fear of Being Killed

If you feel anxious and fearful that you may become the victim of a crime or even be killed, there are several steps you can take to manage this fear. Are you overly cautious and vigilant to the point of exhaustion? If so, you should focus on controlling the fear, seek professional help, and create a safer, healthier future.

Take steps to ensure your physical safety. Regardless of whether you're scared or not, you should always prioritize your safety and the safety of those around you. Here are some actions you can take to manage the safety of your surroundings:

• Lock all doors and windows.
• Leave a light on at night or use a nightlight.
• Keep your phone close at hand.
• Install a home alarm system.

Stay cautious when in dangerous areas. Some areas are more prone to violence. You need to be mindful and take steps to ensure your safety. In addition to the previously mentioned actions, you can take the following steps to avoid violence:

• Always go with someone else. Never go alone.
• Avoid dark areas, alleyways, or dense shrubbery. If you must walk on the street, be cautious of vehicles as they may not see you.
• Wear reflective clothing when out at night so that others can see you.
• Join local neighborhood watch groups to maintain street safety. You may also make new friends and gain valuable crime prevention experience.
• When approaching your car, hold your keys between your fingers in a claw-like grip. Keep the keys facing outward, so they can be used as a self-defense tool.
• Carry a whistle to alert others if someone approaches you against your will.

Learn self-defense. The feeling of being physically vulnerable and weak can cause anxiety. Learning self-defense techniques can help you feel stronger and more capable of protecting yourself from potential dangers.

• Consider taking martial arts or kickboxing classes. Physical activity will help manage stress and build your confidence.

Change your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking about your fears, try to shift your focus to something else. These obsessive thoughts will only worsen the situation. Distracting your mind with something more pleasant can help break the cycle of anxiety and excessive fearful thoughts.

• Take a walk or talk to a friend to focus on something more enjoyable.

Do your own research. Read statistical data on actual crime rates in your neighborhood. You'll realize that crime occurrences are much less frequent compared to the population ratio. The goal is to give you real data, enabling you to form healthier thoughts.

• Studies show factors contributing to fear of crime include: gender, age, race, lack of community ties, distrust in the police, crime rates, previous victimization, risk awareness, and perceptions of the severity of the crime situation.

Face your fears. Identify what scares you and confront it. Specifically identifying your fears will help you find solutions. Sit down and list the factors that lead to your fear of being killed. For example, did you witness an attack or murder when you were young? If so, your fear may have stemmed from that experience.

• Challenge your fears by listing actionable solutions. For instance, if you're afraid of being attacked while showering, you can lock the bathroom door or ask a friend to stand outside and alert you if anything happens. It's a small step, not a long-term solution, but it's a good start.

Plan an action strategy. Most fears can be overcome by creating a clear action plan. The fear of being killed is no exception. Identify your main goals, outline the necessary steps, and follow your plan.

• List the factors that you believe contribute to the risk of being killed. Is your fear linked to a neighbor living down the street that you've never met?
• Take steps to address the situation. You might want to ask a trusted neighbor about the new one. For instance, you could ask, 'What do you think of the neighbor down the street? Do you think they’re a good person?'
• As you reflect on solutions, the fear will diminish. Planning your actions can help you feel like you can do something to improve the situation. You might aim to visit your neighbor and say hello.

Train yourself to conquer fear. To overcome the fear of being killed, you need to gradually face it. Studies show that confronting your fear, either in an imagined situation or through real experience, can help you get past it. The goal is to build positive habits.

• If you’re afraid to enter your garage at night, start by opening the garage door and standing there for a minute. The next day, try stepping inside and standing for a minute. Gradually work your way up to spending several minutes inside the garage.
• Body language, especially posture, can make you feel strong and courageous. Stand in your garage in a 'power pose'. For example, place your hands on your hips like a superhero. Stand there for a few minutes until the adrenaline makes you feel empowered.

Be open with your emotions. It’s important to allow yourself to feel vulnerable during your journey to change. You are facing harsh truths that may be uncomfortable. Be ready to experience, express, and act, rather than fight against it.

• Being open with your emotions means describing how you feel in different situations. Do you feel a lump in your throat? Do you feel anxious and almost panicked? Are you so frightened that you can’t sit in your car at night? Trying to suppress your emotions and pretending you have no reaction is not the way forward.
• Remember that improving your mood allows you to feel more at ease. You can be playful, silly, and laugh at yourself. That will make you feel more comfortable.

Watch out if your fear escalates into an obsessive phobia. Fear and phobias are not the same. When fear intensifies to the point of being irrational, such as not wanting to leave your home because of the fear of being killed, it may be classified as a phobia. Once you understand this, you will feel calmer and more in control of your fears, enabling you to begin the healing process.

• Physical symptoms of a phobia include: sweating, shivering, dizziness, shortness of breath, panic, crying, whining, trembling, constant vigilance, and an inability to relax. Avoidance behaviors may include refusing to go out at night, using defensive measures like getting a guard dog, installing electric fences, or setting up an alarm system with a siren.
• Emotional signs of a phobia include: feeling overwhelmed with anxiety or panic, fearing loss of control or going crazy, or knowing that you're acting excessively but being unable to stop.
• If you've previously been a victim, it’s understandable why you might be fearful. When your thoughts, feelings, and actions escalate to the level mentioned above, you may be experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s important to consult a mental health professional for an accurate diagnosis.

Consult a therapy expert. If you find yourself avoiding social interactions, or experiencing excessive anxiety or irrational fear, it might be time to consider seeking professional help from a therapist. Sometimes normal fear evolves into an obsession that requires treatment. Therapists typically use methods such as:

• Systematic desensitization: A classic method used to replace fear responses with relaxation.
• Hypnotherapy: A form of communication through hypnosis that helps create visualizations to alter thought patterns, emotions, and sensory experiences.
• Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP): A technique that explores the interaction between the mind, language, and how they impact the body and behavior.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy: This approach helps you examine your thoughts and behaviors to correct distortions. It has proven effective in managing anxiety and depression linked to phobias.

Learn relaxation techniques. Relaxation helps reduce stress and alleviate fear. Whether your fear arises before or while you're alone, at work, or in a social situation, pause for a moment to breathe and apply the relaxation techniques you’ve learned. These methods include:

• Guided imagery: A technique focusing on calming images that you either create on your own or with a therapist's assistance.
• Biofeedback: A training technique designed to lower heart rate and blood pressure, both of which are linked to fear responses.
• Breathing exercises: Techniques that calm the nervous system, which is activated by the fight-or-flight response triggered by fear.

Identify underlying causes. True change is only possible when you pinpoint the root cause of your behavior. Are you battling anxiety, stress, or depression? Working with a counselor can help you uncover the events and emotions that have led to your struggles.

• Your fear may stem from a trauma you experienced as a child or later in life. Talking to a counselor and addressing that trauma will help you manage and control your fear.
• The fear of being killed could be linked to identifiable and treatable disorders, such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or schizophrenia, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A counselor or psychiatrist will help identify any related disorders and assist with treatment. A psychiatrist may also prescribe medication to treat underlying conditions and help you overcome your fears.

Recognize emotional triggers. When something evokes an emotional response that brings back memories of past situations, it’s known as a trigger. Identifying fear-inducing situations requires deep introspection (the process of examining what’s happening internally).

• You can break the cycle by choosing not to react when a trigger arises. Once you stop, you can assess whether the threat is real.
• For example, if you're feeling anxious and afraid that you will_____, challenge the thought by saying, 'I can't predict the future, and I’ve never_____ before. I can handle this.'
• Use positive self-talk to calm your thoughts and worries. For instance, if you feel fear, anxiety, or stress mounting, reassure yourself with, 'I will be okay, and I will be safe. The chance of me being killed is very low. Relax and breathe. It's all good.'

Set therapy goals. Commit to changing your behavior. Whether through psychological or physical therapy, setting goals can be a helpful tool. For example, you might set a goal to increase joy in your life by reducing the fear of being killed. Perhaps you aim to feel comfortable going out at night rather than being too scared to leave when it gets dark.

• Stay focused on the healing process. Keep moving forward, even when obstacles arise. Your efforts will pay off, leaving you with a sense of achievement and well-being.

Transform your beliefs about anxiety. To do this, you need to analyze and determine whether your worries are truly accomplishing what you think they are. If they aren’t, now is the moment to change. Challenge your beliefs by asking yourself:

• Do you really feel safer when you worry about being killed?
• Is your anxiety worth the time and energy you're spending on it?
• Does your worry lead to action, or do you just keep worrying without taking action?
• Once you realize that anxiety is not an effective way to control a situation, you can find other ways to achieve the same results.

Learn to accept uncertainty. People often fear the anxiety surrounding uncertain outcomes. This is a struggle because no situation can guarantee complete certainty. Therefore, you need to learn to be comfortable with it. Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of everyday life. How you respond to it is where you can create change.

• Use the 'act as if' method to behave as though you're comfortable with uncertainty. First, reflect on everything you do to avoid uncertainty just to feel safer. Answer the following questions:
• Do you double-check almost everything you do?
• Do you avoid situations or procrastinate often?
• Do you constantly seek reassurance from others?
• Do you need tons of information before making even minor decisions?
• Next, identify situations where you're anxious about uncertainty, and the steps you take to reduce that anxiety. Rate those situations on a scale from 1-10, where 10 is the most anxious and 1 is the least.
• Then, start with the least anxiety-provoking activity and take action ‘as if’ you are okay with uncertainty. For example, go see a movie without checking local crime statistics first.
• Lastly, keep a record of the outcomes. Ask yourself what you did, whether it was harder or easier than you expected, if things turned out well, and how you responded if things didn't go as planned. Recording these things will help you see your progress and open the door to behavior change.

Keep developing your coping skills. You are stronger than you think. You will continue to improve your coping abilities as you successfully face challenges. For example, notice how you deal with other fears in life and apply those same strategies. Also, observe how someone you admire handles tough situations and ask for suggestions on how you can implement similar approaches.

• Following a problem-solving framework will give you structure to create change. You've identified your fear and related emotions, now you must set clear goals, act on them, adjust as necessary, and track your progress.
• One of your goals could be scheduling and logging your anxiety around safety when commuting, going to school, work, or shopping. Self-monitoring is an effective way to initiate real change. You can review your behaviors and develop methods to change those behaviors.

Adopt a broader perspective on life. It's important to take a comprehensive view of the information you hear from others or the media. If you immerse yourself in negative news and thoughts, it will skew your perception of reality.

• Stop and think clearly; you'll realize that the likelihood of such crimes happening again, or even for the first time, is very low.
• When you subconsciously believe the risk of being killed is rising, stop and ask yourself questions like: Are these risks real? Why do I think this way? Are these reports credible? Taking the time to question your thoughts can break the cycle of obsession with them.

Accept yourself. Struggling with yourself can leave you feeling bad about who you are. Unfortunately, feelings of fear, including anxiety, can cause you to worry that you're worrying too much. Nervousness and anxiety are natural parts of life, and you can learn to manage them rather than trying to eliminate those feelings or feeling bad for having them.

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you examine your thoughts and develop healthier perspectives about yourself, while also assisting in controlling anxiety and nervousness.

Remove the obstacles blocking your progress. Inhibition are feelings that make you restless, preventing you from acting naturally and comfortably. To overcome this, you must feel safe within yourself, your environment, and with the people around you.

• Practice letting go by rediscovering your playful, humorous side. It’s often said that a smile is worth a thousand medicines. When you laugh and joke around, a sense of ease will rise, reducing anxiety and nervousness. Laughter and playfulness will help you maintain optimism and positivity in difficult situations; it’s a proven remedy for healing.
• Schedule time for fun: meet friends, play with children, organize events that excite you, engage in sports activities with friends, or go to karaoke. The key is to surround yourself with joyful people.

• If you determine that there is a clear and immediate danger to your safety, reach out to law enforcement right away for support.
• Avoid watching horror films or reading thrillers. These are designed to instill fear, and you don’t need any additional anxiety.
• Be cautious about carrying weapons for self-defense. Storing a weapon you don’t know how to use can be far more dangerous than the fear driving you to carry it. You certainly wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt yourself or someone else.