Buzz
Ever been in a situation where you're hanging out with a group of girlfriends, but you're the only guy? You want to join in, but you're worried it might feel awkward or like you're the odd one out. It doesn't have to be that way! You can enjoy hanging out with your girlfriends by following their lead when making plans, at least in the beginning stages of the friendship. A smile and a good sense of humor can help break the ice. And when you do hang out, remember to stay relaxed—you'll have a fantastic time!
Steps
Acting the Right Way While Out
Have fun and let it show. Even though it may feel a little awkward at first, this is a great chance to connect with a different group of friends, so take it in stride! You'll likely experience things you wouldn't with a group of guys. Make sure to show others that you're enjoying yourself by smiling, laughing, and generally staying in a positive mood.
- Keep your smiles genuine, but try to smile as often as possible. It draws others in and encourages them to smile as well. You'll quickly become known as the person who lifts the entire group’s energy.
- You might feel a stronger connection with one or two of the girls, but when you're in a group, make sure to engage with everyone. If you focus all your attention on one girl, others might think you're romantically interested in her, which could create awkwardness.
Show off your sense of humor. Laugh at others' jokes and throw in a few of your own. Find humor in silly situations or in the things people say. Keep your humor lighthearted, and most people will appreciate it. You might even suggest hanging out in ways that naturally lead to laughs, like going to a comedy movie.
- Laughter breaks the ice in tense situations and helps reduce stress. When you laugh, your blood pressure drops (in a good way), and your circulation improves.
- Make sure you're laughing with the group, not at someone. No one appreciates a bully.
- Adapt your humor to the group. Jokes you share with your guy friends may be fine, but they could offend the girls. Be mindful and avoid crude humor until you gauge the group's vibe.
Be yourself. It may be tempting to adopt a “macho” persona when you’re surrounded by girls, but resist that urge. You don’t have to act “girly” or mimic their behavior to fit in. Just be authentic, and that will be more than enough for them to like you.
Show that you’re confident. Be real, don’t act fake. Be true to yourself when you’re hanging out with the girls—they wouldn’t be spending time with you if they didn’t want to get to know the real you. Be honest about your achievements; it’s part of showing your confidence.
- Being confident also means not putting yourself down. Avoid phrases like, “I’m so stupid,” or “I’m no good at this.” Instead, ask for help when needed, and that will strengthen your friendships.
Make sure your appearance matches the activity. If you’re heading somewhere that calls for a more formal outfit, ask your girlfriends what they recommend. There's a good chance they've already discussed what to wear, so it’s perfectly fine if you do the same. Dressing appropriately for the occasion shows you respect the time you’re spending with them.
- If you’re not comfortable asking your friends, you can always check online for some style tips.
Actively listen to what they’re saying. Often, the best thing you can do is simply listen. When one of your girlfriends speaks, face them and make eye contact. Let them finish talking before you respond.
- If you have questions, ask them—open-ended ones work best. For example, you could ask, “That sounds like a really fun night. What part did you enjoy the most?”
- It helps to provide feedback and encourage them to continue by nodding or saying, “Yes.” If you disagree, wait until they’ve finished before sharing your thoughts.
Avoiding Awkward Situations
Stick to neutral topics at first. If you’re familiar with the group, you can delve into more controversial discussions. However, if you're new to the group, it’s best to proceed with caution. Focus your conversation on safe topics like education, entertainment, or travel. Steer clear of sensitive subjects like politics or religion, especially in the early stages of the friendship. Keep things light.
- If the girls introduce a topic you’re not entirely comfortable with, like women’s health issues, you might use humor to steer the conversation in another direction or find an excuse to step away. However, if you feel comfortable just listening and the group doesn’t mind, you can always do that too.
Do something else if the setting is uncomfortable for you. The group of girlfriends you’re hanging out with might head to a place you’re not comfortable with or can't follow. If that happens, and you’re fine waiting, try finding something else to pass the time. If you feel like leaving altogether, that’s perfectly fine too—just don’t make a scene.
- For instance, if the girls decide to head to the ladies’ room together, your best option is to wait it out. You could take a restroom break, wander around the area, or pass the time on your phone.
- If they spend longer than you'd like in a place you find uncomfortable or boring, like a women’s clothing store, consider calling it a day. You could say, “If you all want to go in there, that’s cool. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Act as a peer, not a big brother. Your friends want to hang out with you, not with a mentor, protector, or sibling. Be mindful of your tone to ensure you don’t sound condescending or overbearing. For example, avoid probing too deeply into their dating lives unless they invite you to. Additionally, if you're older than your girlfriends, don’t constantly remind them of it—focus on common ground instead.
- If one of your girlfriends shares a problem with you, your instinct may be to jump in and offer solutions. Resist this unless they ask for your help. It could come off as pushy or overprotective. Instead, listen with empathy and understanding.
Keep things platonic. Be cautious when considering a romantic relationship with one of your girlfriends while hanging out with others. Giving extra attention or flirting with one girl can create tension or awkwardness in the group. If you're romantically interested in a particular friend, express your feelings when you're alone with her.
- If a girlfriend tries to flirt with you and you're not interested, be gentle but firm in communicating that. You might say, “I really enjoy hanging out with you and the group, but that’s all I’m interested in right now.”
Calm yourself down before going out. If you're feeling nervous or anxious about being the “odd man out,” try relaxing techniques before you head out. Take a few deep breaths, massage the pressure point between your thumb and forefinger, or listen to some calming music. Remind yourself that these are your friends, and there's no reason to be worried.
Talk to your friends for advice beforehand. If you have mutual friends who hang out with these girls, try gathering some insight about them. You might learn that one of them loves music but hates discussing politics, or maybe one is romantically interested in you. It's helpful to know these things before hanging out, if possible.
- Be careful and only approach trusted friends for advice. You could say, “I’m hanging out with Claire and Amy on Thursday. Do you know anything about them?”
Making the Plans to Hang Out
Let them reach out to you. If you're certain you'll be the only guy in the group, let them initiate contact. It's likely they've spent time together before, and by waiting, you're showing you can go with the flow. When they do reach out, try to be flexible with your schedule, especially in the beginning.
- You can ask if you’re the only guy coming, but this might draw unnecessary attention and make them uncomfortable. Alternatively, you could plan to invite other guys to join at a later date if you wish.
Go along with their plans. Even if you're different from them, you’re part of their group now. If they suggest going to the movies, go along with it. You can always suggest stopping by the football game afterward. This shows that you’re easygoing and flexible, not controlling.
- Letting them take the lead also exposes you to new and interesting activities, which will help keep the friendship exciting.
Make suggestions once you're familiar with their interests. As you get more comfortable with these girls, feel free to suggest activities that you personally enjoy. Throw your ideas into the conversation and see if any of the girls are open to joining.
- For example, when texting about plans, you might say, “Going to the park sounds fun, but I was hoping we could hit up this pool party instead. It’s really hot outside.” Offering ideas is also beneficial for everyone’s health and brings positive energy to the group.
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Keep your body language warm and inviting. Avoid crossing your arms or slouching, as these can make you seem unapproachable.
Things to Be Aware Of
- As the only guy in the group, you may face pressure to participate in activities that seem risky or unsafe. In those situations, don’t give in to peer pressure. It’s important to surround yourself with friends who truly respect you.
