How to Have a Phone Conversation with Someone You Like

Stay calm. If this is an important call, take a moment to prepare yourself. Take deep, steady breaths through your nose to relax your body, then calmly dial the number once you've regained your confidence. If they call you, take a few seconds to steady your breathing before answering.

• If you're too nervous to talk, don't answer right away. Give yourself some time to calm down and call back when you're ready. You can say, 'Sorry, I was in the middle of something and couldn't answer.' Don't forget to check your voicemail in case they leave a message.

Greet them casually. It's not the time to impress with a witty or playful opening. A simple 'Hey, it's me. How are you?' is more than enough, then listen to their response to gauge their mood. Unique greetings can be fun, but it's better to save them for later calls.

• Our voices sound different over the phone, so don't forget to introduce yourself.

Ask questions to set the tone. Unlike face-to-face conversations, phone calls often have a specific purpose. Unless they bring it up first, you can ask open-ended questions like:

• 'What do you think the teacher meant by that last question we had to think about?'
• 'How was the concert?'
• 'What did you think of the Star Wars trailer?'

Find common ground to keep the conversation flowing. While they answer, look for topics to transition into a full conversation. It could be related to the question, like discussing last week's homework after finishing this week's, or something entirely different. If they don't say much, answer your own initial question and ask for their thoughts.

Talk about shared interests. Focus on topics you know they enjoy. Avoid diving into subjects only you understand, as it might leave them unsure how to respond. If you run out of ideas, bring up how you met. A mutual friend, class, or social circle are easy conversation starters.

• If they play sports, you could ask, 'Are you ready for the big game on Friday?'
• If they contribute to the school paper, try, 'I really liked your article on Recycling in Schools. What do you think about global warming?'
• If they're taking dance lessons, ask, 'What move are you learning this week?'

Let them talk. Everyone enjoys talking about themselves, and they’ll feel even happier if someone is genuinely listening. When they speak, pay attention and avoid interrupting. Keeping the conversation focused on them will make them more engaged.

Respond to what they say. When the person you like talks about something, try to engage and add to the conversation. If they mention a band, talk about the songs they perform. If it’s about a school event, share your personal opinion on it. This is an easy way to keep the conversation lively while showing you care about their interests.

Break the silence with questions. No one likes being interrogated, but asking occasional questions can ease awkwardness and keep the conversation flowing. If you’re unsure what to ask, inquire more deeply about something they’ve just mentioned.

Keep things light. Try to make the other person feel more comfortable than when the call started. Maintain a positive and upbeat tone (even if they don’t), and avoid gloomy or critical remarks. Lighten the mood with a gentle joke, and laugh when they share something funny. A well-timed compliment can brighten their day, but have a new topic ready in case they don’t know how to respond.

• Avoid controversial topics like politics and religion unless the person you’re talking to is the debate team captain.

End the call on a positive note. Try wrapping up the conversation after a pleasant topic or a joke, leaving the other person feeling comfortable and eager to talk to you again. If you're running out of ideas, or if the pauses are getting longer and their interest seems to fade, it’s time to end the call. While it doesn’t mean the conversation was boring, noticing these signs is a cue to give them a break.

• If this is your first phone conversation, keeping it short is better. 10 to 15 minutes is enough to strengthen the connection without making things awkward.

Politely exit the conversation. Being direct is always the best way to end a call. Let them know you need to go somewhere and thank them for the chat. Most people won’t ask where you’re going, but it’s good to have a simple reason ready, like 'I need to have dinner' or 'I have to finish my essay.'

Ask when you can talk again. It might not be wise to suggest hanging out right after one call, but you can ask when you’ll chat next. If you go to the same school, say, 'See you at school later?' This gives you a reason to greet them when you meet. You could also ask, 'Can I call you again later?' or 'I’ll add you on Zalo and message you later.' These questions leave the door open for future conversations and, if you’re lucky, might lead to plans.

• If they respond positively, wait a few days before reaching out again so you don’t seem too eager or desperate.
• If they seem indifferent, don’t worry! They might be nervous, shy, or distracted by something on their end. Give them space and try contacting them again in a few weeks.

Take a moment to calm down. After hanging up, you might feel excited, anxious, or even a mix of emotions. Take a moment to relax and ground yourself. Most importantly, don’t overthink or stress. You’ve taken the first step in reaching out, and that’s worth celebrating.