Buzz
Most children are fond of video games, also known as electronic games. While these games can be educational and help develop certain skills, kids often spend excessive time glued to their game controllers. Excessive gaming can lead to obesity and cognitive issues in children. You don’t have to completely eliminate this activity from their lives, but setting boundaries and encouraging alternative activities can help limit their screen time.
Steps
Set Clear Boundaries
Establish specific rules. Clearly, setting rules is crucial for changing a child’s behavior. Your child should know exactly what you expect, and everything must be clear. You also need to define consequences for breaking the rules. Sit down and discuss these new guidelines with your child.
- Avoid saying, “You can only play video games for a few hours a day and not too late.” That’s too vague. Instead, say, “On school days, you can play games for one hour, but no playing after 8 PM.”
- Expect negative reactions. This is natural, especially if there were no boundaries before. Your child might throw tantrums, use harsh words, cry, beg, or even threaten. Stay calm. If possible, ignore the outburst and reiterate the consequences of their actions.
Be clear about the consequences you set. Your child needs to know the specific, predetermined penalties for breaking the rules. When establishing rules, don’t forget to explain the outcomes so they understand. Avoid vague statements, as they can confuse your child.
- For example, you might say, “If you behave well when turning off the game, don’t get angry or act rudely, and don’t play after 8 PM, you can play for one hour on school days. But if you cause problems, play longer than an hour, or play after 8 PM, you’ll lose gaming privileges the next day.”
Follow through on what you say. After setting limits and consequences, you must enforce them. If you let your child break the rules without consequences, they’ll see you as lenient and won’t follow the rules. Ensure you stick to your word if your child violates the agreement.
- Be consistent with penalties. It’s easy to soften up if your child acts sweet or to overreact if they argue. But consequences should always be clear and predictable. While adjustments are possible, avoid making changes in emotionally charged moments or without prior discussion.
- Remember that video games are not essential for a healthy and happy childhood – they can be entirely removed. Sometimes, parents forget that gaming can be completely cut off if the child fails to respect time limits.
Use a timer. Using a timer and giving warnings can help your child prepare for the end of their allotted gaming time. Children struggle with transitions, even when they know it’s coming. A warning makes it easier for them to adjust.
- Warn your child when there are 10 to 15 minutes left.
- Set an alarm for 5 minutes before the end. When it goes off, say, “You have five minutes left. Focus on saving your game now.”
Require your child to complete homework and daily chores or responsibilities. Children should understand that their duties (schoolwork and household tasks) must be fulfilled before they’re allowed to play games. Once these are done, you can permit them to start their gaming time.
- Frame video games as a reward for completing homework and chores each day.
Keep the gaming system in a common area. A great way to monitor and limit your child’s gaming is to place the gaming system in a shared space, like the living room, instead of their bedroom. This makes it easier to enforce rules and ensure compliance.
- Having gaming devices in the bedroom gives children too much freedom to play unsupervised. It’s also highly tempting, especially for younger or more defiant kids.
Helping Children Transition
Spend time with your child to develop strategies for reducing gaming time. Involve your child in setting gaming limits. Explain that they can’t play overly stimulating or lengthy games on weeknights, and brainstorm rewards for adhering to gaming rules.
- For example, you might say that they don’t need to finish a level immediately if time is short—they can save progress and continue on the weekend.
- Work together to come up with rewards for good behavior over a week, month, or longer. Avoid offering extra gaming time as a reward. Instead, discuss other exciting incentives you both agree on.
Gradually reduce gaming time. Instead of banning video games outright, slowly decrease the time your child spends playing. For instance, if they spend all their after-school hours gaming, start by limiting it to one or two hours. Explain why you’re reducing gaming time while emphasizing that you respect their hobby.
- For example, say, “You’ve been getting angry and rude when I ask you to stop gaming. Your grades have also dropped because of your gaming habits. I can’t allow this. I want you to enjoy your hobby, but we need to set daily limits.”
- Cutting off gaming entirely can lead to conflict. Your goal is to curb excessive behavior, not eliminate their passion entirely.
Establish transition routines. Ending gaming sessions can be tough, and your child might struggle to disengage. Help them by introducing a physical activity to mark the end of gaming time. This eases the transition from the virtual world to reality.
- For example, use a unique phrase to signal the end, like, “You’re being summoned to leave the fantasy realm and return to the real world! Welcome back!”
- Create a physical marker, such as handing them a glass of water, stretching together, or doing a quick warm-up exercise.
Build family bonding time. Help your child step away from gaming by establishing regular family activities where everyone participates. Make this time a non-negotiable part of the routine, ensuring all family members, including parents, are involved.
- Occasionally, let your child choose the activity to make them feel included. Avoid forcing them into activities they dislike, as this may lead to resentment.
- Invite your child to help cook dinner and turn meals into a daily ritual.
- Go for walks, bike rides, play board games, cards, or watch a movie together in the evening.
- Set consequences for skipping family time, such as losing gaming privileges the next day.
Teach your child how to save their game progress. Many young children don’t know how to navigate game features and need your guidance. If they can save their progress and don’t feel like their efforts are wasted, it will be easier to end their gaming sessions.
- Explain to your child that many games require dozens or even hundreds of hours to complete. This means the game can’t be finished in one sitting and needs to be broken into smaller sessions.
- When time’s up, wait for your child to save their game and assist if they’re too young to do it themselves. If they try to stall and take too long, deduct that time from their gaming allowance the next day. If this continues, they may lose gaming privileges for breaking the rules.
Encouraging Other Interests
Encourage your child to explore other activities. Video games are just one way for children to entertain themselves. There are many other things they can do, especially if they’re not allowed to return to gaming. Encourage them to pursue other hobbies, and if they can’t think of any, offer suggestions.
- Don’t hesitate to say “no” if they ask to play games because they’re “bored.”
- For example, they could play with other toys, act out stories, write music or scripts, read books, play outside, or engage in creative activities like drawing, writing, or playing board games.
Involve your child in social activities. Gaming is often a solitary activity. Encourage your child to join group activities they enjoy. Brainstorm together and let them choose their interests rather than deciding for them.
- You can enroll them in youth groups at your place of worship. Local clubs, cultural centers, and libraries often have programs for young people.
- Look for arts programs in drama, music, or painting. You can also explore computer, building, or other skill-based activities.
- Recreational sports can be fun for some kids, but never force your child to play if they’re not interested.
Encourage physical activities. Excessive gaming can lead to health issues like obesity in children, as it’s a sedentary activity. To help your child stay active, encourage them to find a physical activity they enjoy. Let them choose, and suggest new activities if they’re unsure.
- Your child might enjoy biking, skateboarding, dancing, martial arts, recreational sports, swimming, or outdoor games.
Assessing Your Child's Situation
Determine an acceptable amount of gaming time. Everyone has different views on what constitutes reasonable video game usage. Decide on a daily and weekly limit that works for your family. Some parents restrict gaming to one hour per day, while others allow no gaming on school days and only a few hours on weekends.
- Many health and development experts recommend that children spend no more than two hours daily in front of screens. Focus on evaluating what feels appropriate for your family and set gaming limits accordingly.
Parents should familiarize themselves with signs of gaming addiction. Some children may develop a genuine addiction to video games. They exhibit behavioral, emotional, and physical symptoms, such as becoming withdrawn from family and friends. It’s crucial for parents to recognize these signs to address the issue promptly.
- For example, your child might become aggressive or upset when denied gaming time, struggle to stop playing, or lose interest in other activities. They may also experience irritability, depression, neglect personal hygiene, suffer sleep disruptions, or complain of back or wrist pain.
Seek professional help if you notice a problem. If you believe your child is addicted to gaming and your efforts to curb their behavior have failed, consult a professional. Your child’s doctor or a psychiatrist can work with you and your child to implement positive behavioral changes and enforce limits.
- This is a wise choice if your child reacts violently to gaming restrictions. If they become destructive, aggressive, or threatening when you try to change their behavior, seek help from a mental health specialist.
