Buzz
This article offers tips on how to protect yourself from scams on online dating platforms. Scammers often target users who reveal too much personal information in their profiles in order to steal money, credit card details, or personal data.
Steps
Spotting the Scammer
Understand the scam techniques. Scammers tend to focus on vulnerable individuals, such as widowers, singles, or the elderly. Once they build rapport with their targets, they often claim to need money for an emergency (like hospital bills) or an unexpected event (such as buying a plane ticket to meet you).
Tip: You can avoid falling for scams on online dating sites by following the principle of never sending money to someone you've never met in person.
Be aware that anyone can fall victim to a scam. While middle-aged widows are often targeted by online scammers, there are no exceptions for any user on international dating sites.
Watch for scam behaviors. While not all scammers behave the same way, nearly all scammers on dating platforms exhibit the following signs:
- They refuse to chat through the dating service (preferring only to text or email)
- They persistently ask for private, personal information (such as your address)
- They act overly dramatic, exhibit unusual behavior, or behave in odd ways (typically, you would not want to date someone like this)
- They profess their love too quickly or inappropriately
Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship and Marriage Expert
Relationship and Marriage Expert
Anyone can be targeted by scammers. Dating and relationship expert Maya Diamond says, "If you haven't met someone in person and they profess their love for you, they may be a scammer, especially if they haven't made an effort to meet you. Another clear sign is when they claim to be working in another country and need money to visit you. Unfortunately, this tactic has tricked many people, including those who are smart, informed, and successful."
Check the person's profile. Scammers' profiles often vary depending on whether they are male or female, but you can spot the following common characteristics in their profiles:
- High income
- Average height
- Attractive appearance
- No interest in politics
- Engineer profession (for men) or student (for women)
- Over 45 years old (for men) or under 30 years old (for women)
Be cautious of age gaps if you're older. Online dating scammers often target individuals who are older than they are.
Look for duplicate versions of their profile picture. Simply save their profile photo, then upload it to Google to search for similar images. If you find multiple pages showing their photo in the results, it means they are not using their own picture.
- If you confirm they aren't using a 'real' picture, confront them. This method will often expose other suspicious behaviors as well.
Analyze what they say during conversations. During chats, scammers' messages often lack consistency, with them misnaming themselves or you. The messages may be poorly written or repetitive. Watch for these signs:
- Their language skills gradually worsen. They may not care about grammar or punctuation.
- They make mistakes that make their 'story' contradict itself.
- Or, they never share any personal details.
- They mix up pronouns (he/she).
- They bring up irrelevant details not matching their profile, or make offhand remarks that don’t seem trustworthy.
Ask to meet them in person. Scammers will always refuse to meet face-to-face, and they'll often act uninterested when you suggest it.
- If the person you're talking to flatly refuses to meet or repeatedly cancels, they might be a scammer.
- Or, they may ask you to pay for their plane ticket or travel expenses for the meeting.
Suggest contacting them via video or voice call. If the person refuses to meet in person, you can suggest calling their number (instead of them calling you) or connecting via a voice or video calling app like Skype. If they agree, pay attention to their tone and choice of words; if their attitude seems inconsistent with what you know about them, it's best to avoid them.
- Once again, if they refuse to chat with you over a voice or video call, they might be a scammer.
Be cautious of 'bait.' Once the scammer thinks you've 'taken the bait,' they will put their plan into action. Usually, they will 'agree' to meet you or talk to you, but their plans will be interrupted due to a financial issue.
- Remember, anyone who asks you for money under any circumstances is a scammer.
- Don’t be swayed by phrases like "To make this work, we need to trust each other" or "I think you love me"; these are emotional manipulation tactics.
"Never send money to anyone you've only met online, no matter who they are or how much they claim to like you."
Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship and Marriage Expert
Relationship and Marriage Expert
Prevent Scams
Ensure your profile is as secure as possible. One of the first steps in creating a scam-free profile is to limit the amount of information you share. If possible, avoid publicly displaying your country/region, phone number, email, job, and other personal details.
- Most online dating platforms ask for your age, a brief self-description, and a photo. Besides these, it’s better to leave other sections blank.
- Scammers need to know your information before they start their schemes, so you should prevent their motives by limiting potentially exploitable information.
Don’t give scammers the opportunity to blackmail you. Scammers often use a familiar tactic: they save sensitive photos, videos, and/or messages you send them, upload them to public sites, and use these materials to extort money from you. Therefore, avoid sending messages that reveal personal information, especially in the early stages of your interactions.
- This doesn’t mean you can’t interact with the person as you wish; however, remember that strangers online might use what you send to attack you.
- Avoid sending photos or videos that include friends or family members, or revealing your location.
Keep your conversations on the dating site. If you’re using a dating platform with a built-in messaging feature (which most sites do), it’s best to chat only on that platform. If the person suggests moving the conversation to email or text, politely decline.
- This way, the dating site can review the message content if you need to report a scammer.
- Conversing on the dating platform also allows you to block the person (if necessary) without worrying about blocking their email or phone number as well.
Avoid sharing your real phone number. If you must move the conversation to a smartphone, don’t disclose your real phone number. This doesn’t mean you have to give them a fake number; you can use many free messaging services like WhatsApp, Skype, Google Voice, and Facebook Messenger to chat without revealing your actual phone number.
- If the person insists on having your phone number and refuses to use other messaging platforms, they might be more interested in your number than in the conversation itself.
Keep a record of your conversation with them. If you suspect that the person you’re chatting with is a scammer, follow these steps to ensure you have proof against them:
- Don’t delete the conversation or any other forms of communication.
- Take screenshots of the conversation.
End the conversation with that person if necessary. There's nothing wrong with cutting contact, especially if you suspect they might be a scammer. If interacting with them online gives you a bad feeling, there's no need to continue engaging with them.
- Many dating sites allow you to block the person you're chatting with. If they don't have your email address or phone number, this will prevent them from reaching out again.
- If the person becomes irrationally angry or threatens you, take screenshots and report their profile to the dating service's support team.
Report the scam to the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). If you've fallen victim to a scam, you should file a report at the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center website at https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx, click on File a Complaint and provide the necessary details.
- Additionally, you should report the scammer directly on the platform where the issue occurred.
Advice
- Unfortunately, encountering online scammers is almost unavoidable. Exploiting emotions is the leading cause of scams, with approximately 12% of online dating users reporting encounters with fraudsters.
- When first talking to a scammer, they often ask about your job. Avoiding or providing vague answers like “working” often causes them to lose interest in pursuing you.
- Searching for the person on professional sites like LinkedIn may reveal if their details have been stolen by a scammer.
- The way they write can also be a giveaway. If their English isn't fluent and they frequently use nonsensical words, they may not be from an English-speaking country as claimed in their profile.
Warning
- Always remember the golden rule for online interactions: if something sounds too good to be true, it probably isn’t.
- Never share your dating account password, as even the support team of a dating service will never ask for it.
- Do not accept packages or money from suspicious individuals, as doing so could involve you in money laundering activities.
