Buzz
Are you wondering what "masculine confidence" is and how to awaken it in your partner? We have the answers for you in this article. Even if your man seems distant, not fully committed to you, or hesitant about making a commitment, you can follow these simple tips to turn things around. If you want to awaken his masculine energy (also known as his hero instinct), become an irresistible attraction to him, and nurture a lasting, happy relationship, keep reading!
What you need to know
- The hero instinct is a concept coined by relationship expert James Bauer. Bauer suggests that men have a natural desire to be relied upon and appreciated by their partners.
- To activate this instinct, ask him for help, allow him to protect you, express love, gratitude, and enthusiasm toward him.
- When you trigger his hero instinct, you’ll make him happy and feel that he plays an active role in your relationship.
Steps
What is the hero instinct?
The hero instinct is the desire to protect loved ones and the feeling of being needed by others. This concept was introduced by relationship expert James Bauer in his book His Secret Obsession. He suggests that every man has a natural drive to earn the love of his partner and to give that love in return. He wants to feel appreciated and needed by you. If you make him feel this way, he will grow more confident, closer to you, and ultimately more committed to you.
- You can purchase Bauer's book or enroll in his relationship courses at https://hissecretobsession.com/.
How to awaken his hero instinct
Ask him for help. Whether it's a big or small task, he wants the chance to come to your aid! Ask him to help you open a jar, study for an exam, or practice for a presentation. Ask for his advice when you're facing a difficult situation.
- Most men understand that you're fully capable and confident in solving problems on your own. So when you ask him for help, he knows you truly value his efforts and contributions.
Let him know what you need. He can't read your mind, so you need to be clear and direct. Let him know what he can do for you—he'll be happy to do it! Tell him what makes you feel satisfied and happy in your relationship, from sharing household chores to intimate moments together.
- "I love when we sit down and reminisce about the past."
- "I love when we express our affection, cuddle, and stay close to each other."
Give him the chance to protect you. Men have an instinct to protect those they care about. He will take great pride in ensuring your safety and well-being. So, next time he steps up to defend you when someone speaks ill of you or does something to put your mind at ease, enjoy the moment.
- If he calls you a cab after a date and follows up with a text to make sure you made it home safely, that's his protective instinct kicking in.
- You can ask him to help change your car’s oil or take your car for a repair so he can ensure it's safe for you to drive.
Tell him how much he makes you happy. Men want to know they bring happiness and fulfillment to their partners. According to Bauer, they have a natural drive to please their significant others. When he buys you flowers, cooks dinner for you, or shows sweet affection, take the opportunity to tell him what he means to you. Look him in the eyes, hold his hand, and say:
- “You make me so happy.”
- “I’ve never had a relationship as great as this.”
- “Every day, I look forward to seeing you.”
- “You’re such a thoughtful husband.”
Compliment and praise him. Whenever you think of something great about him, express it. Do you love his new hairstyle? Do you admire how he managed to get everything on the shopping list in just one trip? Let him know! Your compliments will not only make him feel good about himself, but also about your relationship.
- Leave little notes for him or send texts letting him know what you appreciate about him.
- "Dinner last night was amazing! You’re truly a culinary genius."
Show appreciation for him. There are many ways to express your gratitude in everyday life. Help him with a tough task or a boring chore. Give him a meaningful gift, whether material or an experience. Make him feel heard and understood when he speaks to you. He will feel valued when you show your appreciation.
- Be grateful for everything he does for you, from opening doors to buying you your favorite coffee. Let him know what he means to you and acknowledge every effort he makes in your relationship.
Encourage him. Show your support for your partner by always standing by his side. Help him reach his goals by telling him you believe in him and encourage him to focus on the positives instead of getting distracted by obstacles. Offer to help, give advice, and be there when he needs you. Stand beside him to support him, and he will do the same for you.
- "You’ve worked so hard to get this position! They must be crazy not to make you regional manager!"
Give him your undivided attention. Whether your man wants to chat or needs to vent, it’s important to set aside time to listen to him fully. Put away your phone, distractions, and work. Focus on the present moment, make eye contact, and notice his body language and words. When he feels heard, understood, and appreciated, he will find you even more attractive.
Show respect for him. Even if you disagree with his opinions or choices, refrain from criticizing him. Be considerate of his feelings, time, privacy, and boundaries. When he feels free to be himself without judgment and has the space he needs, he is more likely to want to stay with you long-term.
Attract him with love language. Show affection in ways that truly resonate with him. He will appreciate gestures such as receiving gifts, spending quality time, physical touch, words of encouragement, or acts of care. When he feels loved, he will gain confidence in both himself and your relationship.
- Gifts: Surprise him with his favorite drink or dessert, or choose something related to one of his hobbies, like a set of tennis balls or a new paintbrush.
- Quality time: Spend an evening together watching the sunset, go on a hike, or enjoy a couples massage.
- Physical touch: Hold hands, embrace, kiss, and caress each other with affection.
- Words of encouragement: Let him know how much he means to you with specific examples, like saying, "I love how kind you are."
- Acts of care: Help him with a task from his to-do list, such as mowing the lawn or picking up dry cleaning.
Be enthusiastic. He will feel more attractive when you show interest in him, whether he’s sharing details about his workday or showing off something related to his hobbies. Enthusiasm in the bedroom is especially important. Men love when their partner shows excitement about intimacy.
- Occasionally take the initiative to get close to let him know that you desire him as well.
Does sparking his hero instinct really work?
By fulfilling his needs, you help him feel content. When his hero instinct is awakened, he will feel vital and recognize his importance within the relationship. If he believes he is irreplaceable to you, he will become even more committed to the relationship. Additionally, knowing that you are happy will likely bring him joy and satisfaction as well.
