How to Ignore Your Boyfriend

Relationships go through ups and downs. You might be arguing with him or perhaps he’s becoming distant. If talking things through isn’t working, you may want to try a different approach. Sometimes, giving him space or even deliberately ignoring him can be an option.

Evaluate the situation. Identify when your boyfriend’s behavior began to disappoint you. Think about how your actions may have contributed to this.

• Is his moodiness linked to stress at school, work, or has he been acting strange for months? His indifference might not reflect his feelings for you, but rather his response to stressful situations.
• Have you set unrealistic expectations for him? Is his inbox filled with messages from you? Are you constantly checking up on him? Or, are you patient, calm, and trusting? Is it only you putting in effort in this relationship?

Reflect on your personal emotions. Ask yourself why you want to ignore him. Are you two arguing? Or is it because his conversations aren’t aligning with yours? Think about what his behavior has done to frustrate you. Are you the only one trying in the relationship? Remember, it's okay to feel sad, hurt, angry, or indifferent.

• Keep track of your thoughts in a journal.
• Share your feelings with someone you trust. Tell a close friend how you feel over coffee.

Have a conversation with him. Talk to him about your feelings and concerns. Use “I” statements to express your thoughts rather than “you.” Allow him to respond without interrupting. If he continues to ignore your feelings or dismiss your concerns, end the conversation and take action.

• Take responsibility for your own emotions. For instance, say things like “I feel ignored,” “I’m worried about our relationship,” or “I feel hurt when you choose to hang out with your friends instead of spending time with me.”
• Avoid using “you” as if blaming him entirely. For example, avoid saying “You are ignoring me,” “You don’t care about our relationship,” or “You never want to see me.”

Create more space. Don’t spend all of your free time with him! Take the initiative to step back. Limit how often you two meet. This might make him miss you!

• Keep yourself busy. If you live together, don’t make him the center of your attention. You could read a book, go for a run, cook, clean, or do anything that doesn’t revolve around getting his attention for the sake of entertainment.
• Don’t stay at your boyfriend’s place every night. Try to carve out a few nights each week just for yourself. He will have time to realize how much he misses you when you’re not around.

Focus on your career or personal hobbies. With your free time, concentrate on your career or explore a new hobby. Filling the gap with new activities and setting career goals will make it easier to distance yourself from him.

• Put your energy into excelling at work. Take on a new project or additional responsibilities.
• Use your free time to schedule, join a new club, or pick up a new sport. Meeting new people through activities is a great way to fill your time!
• Get active! Try a local gym or explore a new trail.
• Spend time outdoors. Visit the beach or relax under a tree with a good book!

Spend time with friends and family. Instead of staying home alone, go out with friends and spend time with family. Enjoy an evening out with close friends! Plan a visit to see family. Fill your schedule with fun outings, spontaneous adventures, and relaxing trips. Reconnecting with friends and family will make it easier for you to ‘ignore’ your boyfriend.

• Visit a local art museum with a friend.
• Invite family over for a dinner at your place.
• Host a themed party.

Present your cheek to him. When walking with him, avoid showing affection in public. Treat him like a friend. If he tries to kiss you, let him kiss your cheek. If he takes your hand, slide your hand into your pocket.

• Don’t tease him by being affectionate in public. Avoid rubbing his back or resting your head on his shoulder.

Maintain distance. Increase the physical distance between you and him. Don’t sit too close to him on the couch, but you can sit further apart or choose a separate chair. Keep some space between you two at night.

• Don’t curl up in his lap in bed!
• If you both attend the same class, sit in a different row from him.
• Avoid physical contact with him to make it easier to keep your distance (and prevent you from reaching out to him!).

Limit eye contact. If you happen to run into him in public, avoid making eye contact. You can look at something in the distance, look up, look down, or look around. Just don’t look directly at him!

• Don’t turn your back on him, as you won’t see his reaction. Keep him in your peripheral vision and glance at him occasionally.

Stop initiating contact. Avoid calling or texting him. Let him take the initiative to reach out to you. Whenever you feel the urge to call him, call a friend instead. Plan to watch a movie or go out for a meal with that friend.

• Only reach out to him when it’s absolutely necessary!
• Steer clear of him on social media. If you can’t resist talking to him online, limit your social media usage temporarily or block his account.

Ignore his calls and messages. When he contacts you, ignore it! Let his calls go to voicemail. Let your inbox fill up with his unanswered text messages. Make him wait endlessly for a response from you!

• Avoid constantly checking your phone. Leave it in another room, turn it off, or set it to silent mode.
• Give your phone to a friend or family member.
• Ignore his attempts to reach you on social media! Don’t reply to his messages or comments. Block him for a while if necessary.

Shorten your responses. When talking to your boyfriend, keep the conversation brief. Respond to his questions with short answers and avoid adding explanations. Don’t ask about his workday or weekend plans. Appear cold and indifferent.

• Answer with a nod or a shrug.
• Respond with one-word answers like “Yes,” “No,” “Okay,” or “Fine.”