How to Interact with People with Disabilities

It’s not uncommon to feel uncertain when speaking with or interacting with people who have physical, sensory, or intellectual disabilities. Communication with individuals with disabilities will differ from talking to those without disabilities. However, if you are unfamiliar with the experience, you might worry about unintentionally saying something offensive or making mistakes while assisting them.

Above all, show respect. People with disabilities should be treated with the same respect as anyone else. We should see them as individuals first, not defined by their disability. If you must refer to their disability, ask them directly what term they prefer to use. Generally, it’s a good practice to follow the “Golden Rule”: treat others the way you would like to be treated.

• Most individuals with disabilities prefer to put the term for their disability after their personal identity, such as saying “his sister, who has Down syndrome” instead of “his Down syndrome sister.”
• Other examples of this approach include: “A has cerebral palsy,” “T has a vision impairment,” or “B uses a wheelchair.” Instead of saying someone “has a physical/mental disability,” which may sound dismissive, it’s better to say “the blind girl” or “the girl in the wheelchair.” Avoid colloquial terms if possible. While some people may feel uncomfortable with the term “disability,” many use it themselves to describe who they are, seeing it as part of their identity. If they identify as a “person with a disability,” it’s important to ask them how they feel about the term and why they identify that way. This helps you understand their perspective.
• Be mindful of how you refer to groups or multiple individuals. Many individuals who are deaf, blind, or have autism prefer to have their condition mentioned after their identity (e.g., “A is autistic”). Similarly, when referring to the deaf community, we use “Deaf” (capitalized) to refer to individuals in that community. If in doubt, it’s always polite to ask the person how they prefer to be addressed.

Never speak in a condescending tone to individuals with disabilities. Regardless of their abilities, no one wants to be treated like a child or inferior. When engaging with a person with a disability, avoid using childish terms, pet names, or raising your voice louder than usual. Do not use gestures like patting their back or rubbing their head, as these actions imply that you believe they cannot comprehend, and they equate them to children. Speak to them at a normal volume and use language as you would with anyone else.

• You can slow down your speech for individuals with hearing impairments or cognitive disabilities. Similarly, if you're speaking with someone who is hard of hearing, speaking a bit louder can help them understand. They will likely let you know if you’re speaking too softly. You can ask them if you’re speaking too quickly or if you need to slow down or be clearer.
• Don’t assume you need to simplify your vocabulary when communicating. You should only simplify language if speaking with someone who has intellectual disabilities or difficulty communicating. Patronizing someone is not considered polite, nor is it comparable to speaking to someone who can't follow what you're saying. If unsure, speak normally and observe how they respond to language.

Never use nicknames or offensive terms carelessly. Nicknames or derogatory terms are inappropriate and should be avoided when interacting with someone with a disability. Referring to someone by their disability or using offensive terms (such as "cripple" or "disabled") not only causes harm but also shows a lack of respect. Always be mindful of your words and censor them when necessary. Avoid terms like "idiot," "retarded," "crippled," "paralyzed," or "midget." Be cautious not to identify someone by their disability instead of their name or role.

• When introducing someone with a disability, there’s no need to mention their disability. You can simply say, “This is my colleague, Ms. A,” without specifying, “This is my colleague, Ms. A, she’s deaf.”
• If you use a common expression like “I have to run!” with someone in a wheelchair, don’t apologize. These phrases aren’t offensive, but apologizing draws attention to their disability.

Speak directly to them, not through an assistant or interpreter. People with disabilities may feel frustrated when they have to communicate through an assistant or interpreter rather than speaking directly with you. Similarly, when talking to someone in a wheelchair, engage with them directly rather than speaking to the person standing next to them. Their bodies may be impaired, but their minds are intact! If you're talking to someone who is hearing impaired and has a nurse or sign language interpreter assisting them, always address the person directly.

• Even if the person doesn’t give you non-verbal cues, like making eye contact (e.g., an individual with autism), don’t assume they aren’t listening. Continue speaking with them.

Be patient and ask questions if necessary. Rushing a conversation or interrupting someone with a disability may seem like a way to keep things moving, but it’s disrespectful. Always let them speak and act at their own pace, without urging them to talk, think, or move faster. Additionally, if you don’t understand them because they speak too slowly or too quickly, don’t hesitate to ask for clarification. Pretending to understand could cause confusion or embarrassment if you misunderstood, so double-check.

• A person with a speech impairment may find it hard to be understood. Don’t rush them to speak faster—suggest they repeat themselves if necessary.
• Many individuals take longer to process conversations or convert thoughts into words (regardless of intellectual ability). Therefore, a conversation with pauses is completely normal.

Don't be afraid to ask about someone’s disability. While curiosity about someone’s disability should be avoided, if you believe asking can help ease their situation (e.g., asking if they prefer to take the elevator rather than the stairs when you see them struggling to walk), it’s okay to ask. They may have been asked the same question numerous times and have a simple answer prepared. If the disability is a result of an accident or too personal, they may decline to share information.

• Appearing to be overly knowledgeable about someone’s disability can be offensive; it’s better to ask them directly instead of making assumptions.

Understand that some disabilities are invisible. If you see someone who appears healthy parking in a disabled spot, don’t confront them or accuse them of not being disabled, as you may not be aware of their invisible disability. There are some "invisible disabilities" that are not immediately apparent but still affect individuals.

• Develop the habit of treating everyone kindly and thoughtfully, as you cannot judge their situation just by appearances.
• Some disabilities change from day to day: many people who used a wheelchair yesterday may only need a cane today. This doesn’t mean they are pretending or "getting better"; like everyone else, they have good days and bad days.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone with a disability. You will better understand how to interact with individuals with disabilities if you consider how you would want to be treated. Think about how you would like others to talk to or treat you, and treat them the same way.

• Thus, speak to a person with a disability like you would anyone else. Welcome a new colleague with a disability just like any other new person. Avoid staring at them or acting patronizing or over-attentive.
• Don’t focus on their disability. You don’t need to understand the nature of their disability; what matters is treating them fairly, just like you would any other person who enters your life.

Offer sincere assistance. Many hesitate to offer help to people with disabilities out of fear of offending them. In fact, if you offer help because you assume they can’t do something themselves, that in itself is offensive. However, few people are offended by a sincere and specific offer of help.

• Many people with disabilities hesitate to ask for help, but they will appreciate it when offered sincerely.
• For example, if you’re shopping with a friend in a wheelchair, you might ask if she would like help carrying her bag or need assistance sitting down. Offering help to a friend is not offensive.
• If you’re unsure how to help, you can ask, “How can I assist you now?”
• Don’t "help" someone without asking first; for instance, don’t grab someone’s wheelchair and push them up a ramp. Always ask if they need help moving more easily.

Don’t play with service dogs. Service dogs are adorable and professionally trained, making them excellent companions for cuddling and playing. However, their primary role is to assist individuals with disabilities. If you engage with them without asking for permission, you might distract the dog from the important task it’s performing for its owner. If the dog is working, avoid distracting it with petting. If the dog seems idle, ask the owner for permission to interact with it. Be aware that they may decline, and in that case, don’t feel upset or disappointed.

• Never give service dogs food or engage with them in any way without permission.
• Don’t distract service dogs by calling their name, even if you're not petting or cuddling them.

Avoid playing with someone's wheelchair or mobility device. While it might seem like a good place to rest your hands, playing with someone's wheelchair can make the person using it feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Unless asked to assist, you should avoid touching or tampering with their wheelchair, walker, cane, or any other device used for daily mobility. If you need to move someone's wheelchair, always ask for permission and wait for their response. Never ask to borrow their wheelchair as it comes off as childish and may make them uncomfortable.

• Respect mobility aids as extensions of their body: avoid moving someone's hands or leaning on them without permission. Treat their mobility devices with the same respect.
• You should never touch any assistive tools or devices like hand-held translators or oxygen tanks unless specifically asked to do so.

Understand that most people with disabilities have adapted. Many individuals are born with disabilities, while others acquire them through illness, accidents, or other causes, but all of them have learned to adapt and care for themselves. They are fully independent in daily life and rarely need help. If you assume that someone with a disability cannot do certain things or constantly try to help them, this can be offensive and uncomfortable. Act under the assumption that they can perform any task on their own.

• People who acquire disabilities due to accidents might need more help than those with congenital disabilities, but it's always better to wait for them to ask for help instead of assuming they need it.
• Avoid avoiding asking people with disabilities to complete a specific task simply because you're worried they can't do it.
• If you offer help to someone with a disability, make sure your offer is sincere and specific. If you offer genuinely, without doubting their ability, your gesture will not be offensive.

Avoid blocking their way. Show courtesy to people with physical disabilities by not standing in their path. Step aside if you see someone in a wheelchair trying to move. Keep your feet out of the way if they are using crutches or a walker. If you notice that someone is struggling to walk or their steps are unsteady, offer assistance. Never invade their personal space, but be ready to help if they ask.

• Do not touch their mobility aids or pets unless permitted. Remember that wheelchairs and other assistive devices are personal space, an extension of their body. We must respect that.