Buzz
Want to make a new friend or take the next step with your crush? Asking a guy to hang out might feel nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be. Spending time together and meeting new people can be exciting and help expand your social circle. By choosing a relaxed setting and approaching with confidence, you can easily get to know him better.
Steps to Follow
Inviting a Guy on a Date
Choose an activity you both enjoy. If you already chat with the guy, ask about his hobbies and interests. Consider what he likes to do in his free time and use that to plan your hangout.
- For instance, if he’s into sports, suggest bowling or a casual game. If he enjoys reading, meet up at a library or bookstore for a shared experience.
- Even if his hobbies aren’t your usual interests, keep an open mind—you might end up enjoying something new!
Ask him face-to-face. Choose a private moment when you’re not surrounded by colleagues or classmates, and approach him with confidence and ease. Speaking directly shows you’re interested and allows for an immediate response.
- Try catching him after class, work, or during a casual encounter.
Send a text if speaking in person feels overwhelming. Use a message or a chat app to casually suggest hanging out. Either ask an open-ended question to gauge his interest or propose a specific time and date so he can easily respond.
- A text is a great option if you’re shy about asking in front of others.
- Example messages: “Want to grab coffee sometime?” or “How about bowling this Saturday?” This makes it clear that you’re keen to spend time with him.
Check his interest with an open-ended question. This helps you see if he’s open to meeting up. If he responds positively, follow up by asking when he’s free to finalize the details.
- Try questions like, “Would you like to grab coffee sometime?” or statements like, “We should definitely hang out outside of class/work soon.”
- To add urgency, make it more specific: “How about lunch one of these weekends?” Keep in mind that pre-planned meetings often feel more like dates than casual meetups.
Be specific about your plans to make it easier for him. The clearer you are about the details, the easier it is for him to decide on the spot.
- Say something like, “Want to grab dinner this Friday?” or “There’s a concert Monday at 7—want to come with me?”
- Lead with your plans instead of just asking if he’s free, so he knows exactly what he’d be agreeing to.
- Reader Poll: A survey of 2,230 Mytour readers found that only 8% preferred rock climbing for a first date. [Take Poll] So, opting for something more casual like coffee or a show might be a better choice.
Keep it casual and pressure-free. Frame your invitation in a relaxed way so he can say yes or no without feeling obligated. Being too forceful can come off as desperate.
- Avoid phrases like, “It would mean so much if you came” or “I’ll be really upset if you say no.” Instead, maintain a confident and understanding tone.
Respect his decision if he declines. Pay attention to his reasoning to understand his situation—it might just be bad timing. Avoid showing disappointment, as this could make him feel guilty. Instead, keep things open-ended by suggesting another time.
- If he repeatedly turns down your invitations, he might not be interested or is genuinely too busy. In that case, it's best to move on. If he wants to reconnect, let him take the lead.
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
What’s your biggest challenge when asking a guy out?
220 votes counted
We appreciate your response to our poll!
Start QuizExplore More QuizzesSpending Time Together as Friends
Be straightforward and use casual language when inviting him to hang out. Avoid trying to make it sound too playful or cute, as it could lead to confusion. Be clear about your intentions and what you’d like to do together, without appearing desperate.
- Try asking, “Would you like to join me for lunch?” or “How about a coffee this Thursday?” This way, he knows exactly what you have in mind without the flirtation.
Invite friends if you want to keep it casual. To avoid sending any mixed signals, consider hanging out in a group setting. This way, you can still spend time together, but in a less intimate atmosphere. If he’s shy, he may feel more comfortable around others than in a one-on-one setting.
- Start a group text or message to coordinate schedules and keep things light. Make sure to talk to the guy individually as well to gauge interest.
- Plan something fun like a game night or a group dinner where everyone can relax and chat.
Choose a relaxed, public spot for your hangout. Look for nearby coffee shops or public events using Facebook to find a comfortable place to talk and get to know each other. If this is your first time hanging out, make sure the setting encourages conversation.
- Skip the movies since it’s hard to talk during a film.
- Check out local museums for free entry days or special events.
- If you’re just friends, hanging out at your house might send the wrong impression.
Clarify that it’s not a date if he still thinks it is. If he remains under the impression that it’s a date, gently explain in a way that doesn’t hurt his feelings. Be straightforward so there’s no confusion.
- Say something like “I’m just looking to be friends” or “I’m not interested in dating anyone right now” to avoid making him upset.
Help with Conversations
Inviting a Guy Friend to Hang Out as Friends
Inviting a Guy You’re Interested In to Hang Out
Do’s and Don’ts When Asking a Guy to Hang OutHow to Ask a Guy Out?
-
Don’t hesitate to invite a guy to hang out. He’ll appreciate the confidence and it’ll be a nice change for him not to be the one to ask.
-
Be sure to listen actively. Listening is a key skill. While it’s easy to talk about yourself, make sure you prioritize asking questions and showing interest in what he has to say.
-
If you’re on a date, keep it light-hearted. Stay grounded and avoid putting yourself on a pedestal.
