How to invite someone to hang out via text

Sending a message to invite someone to hang out was once a taboo, but it has now become quite common. Although reaching out to someone you like can feel intimidating, texting gives you the opportunity to think through what you want to say and refine your message. With some simple tips and advice, you can have a smooth conversation, and with a bit of luck, you'll succeed in inviting them out.

Focus on your goal. Chatting about daily activities or their hobbies is an effective way to get to know them better. Avoid small talk or general topics, and don't keep them waiting too long before you extend the invitation. The quicker you make your invitation, the more likely they are to show real interest and respond positively.

• If you're inviting them on a specific day, focus your conversation on that. For example, if you're planning to take them to a movie, talk about a film currently playing.

Compliment them when inviting them out. When inviting someone to hang out, you can offer a compliment to explain why you want to spend time with them. This will make the other person feel happy, more open, and more likely to accept your invitation. Here are a few suggested messages:

• "I really enjoy talking with you. How about we go for coffee sometime?"
• "I've been wondering lately if you'd like to go see a movie with me?"
• "You're amazing. Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Be specific when inviting them out. Make sure the person you're interested in knows that you're asking them out, or they might think you’re just inviting them to hang out with a group of friends. Use clear phrases like "Would you like to hang out with me?" instead of vague ones like "Want to hang out?"

Plan the date in detail. If they agree, immediately follow up to make the necessary plans. Choose a suitable date and time for both of you, then pick a location to meet. Prepare the details before texting them again. This shows you care and helps avoid any confusion in the near future.

Don't worry if they reject you. Give them some space, and after a couple of weeks, start talking to them again as friends. If the conversation goes well, you might still have a chance at dating. In the meantime, make sure you take care of yourself by hanging out with friends, getting out of the house, and staying active.

Send personal messages. Avoid generic messages like "Hi", "How are you?" or "What are you up to?" because they aren't ideal conversation starters. Instead, try to create a personal touch in your message to the person you're interested in. This will help you stand out positively and show that you genuinely care about them.

• Try referencing your most recent conversation. For example, if they mentioned an important test or a project, ask how it's going.
• Talk about their interests. If you know they’re into a band, ask about their latest album. If they like a sports team, chat about a recent game.

Chat about fun topics. Use your messages to show the other person that being around you is fun. Keep the conversation light and positive, and don’t hesitate to throw in a joke or two. Keep in mind that humor and sarcasm can be hard to convey through text, so if you’re joking, be sure to make it clear by using emojis or adding "lol" or "haha".

• Unless you know the person enjoys jokes, try to avoid overdoing it. Even if you don’t intend to, crude jokes or remarks can make the other person uncomfortable or scared.

Use proper spelling and grammar. You don’t need to write a perfectly polished paragraph when texting, but people are more likely to agree to a date if your messages are spelled and grammatically correct. Always check your message before sending it to ensure there are no obvious mistakes.

Give them time to respond. If they don’t reply right away, don’t bombard them with multiple messages. They might be busy or deciding how to respond, so sending a flood of messages could overwhelm them. If they don’t reply after a day or two, you can try sending a follow-up message to see if they’ll respond. If they still don’t reply, they may not be interested in you.

Respond with a message of similar length. You don’t want to overwhelm them, so match the level of enthusiasm in your replies. Sending three long messages for every short reply they send can make you seem over-eager. Instead, aim to match the length of their messages appropriately.

Don’t wait too long to message them back. If you’ve just met someone you like, don’t hesitate to message them. The outdated rule of waiting three days before contacting a crush doesn’t apply anymore. Reach out to them the same day so the fun time you both had is still fresh in their mind.

• Even if you've known them for a while, if you had an enjoyable conversation or shared a funny moment, message them right away to let them know how much you enjoyed it.
• Your first message should be as simple as possible, such as, "I just wanted to say I had a really great time chatting with you today."

Message them at the right time. Avoid texting them early in the morning or late at night to prevent waking them up. Afternoon or early evening is usually the ideal time to text, as they’re likely to be more alert and have finished their work or studies.

Wait 1 to 2 hours before replying after they respond. When they reply, don’t respond immediately, as it may seem like you’re too eager. However, don’t wait too long to respond either, as that could make you seem rude or uninterested.

• In general, you should only delay responding to the first message. If you always make them wait, they might lose patience or think you’re not interested in them.

Let them know you’re looking forward to the date. Don’t overwhelm them with messages, but a day or two before the date, send them a message letting them know you’re excited to see them. This will show the other person that you’re as eager for the date as they are (hopefully!).

Wear something nice and appropriate. Before meeting up, pick an outfit that’s both stylish and suitable for the date. Unless you're going to a very fancy restaurant or a high-profile event, you probably shouldn’t wear a ball gown or a suit. Instead, choose something comfortable, well-fitting, and attractive, conveying that you care about the date.

Be present during the date. Throughout the date, turn off your phone and focus on the other person. Pay attention to the time you’re spending together, and steer clear of topics about work or school, past relationships, or awkward subjects. Show your interest by listening to what they say and responding appropriately.

Let them know if you enjoyed the date. If you had a good time and would like another date, let them know. Text them that evening or the next day and say how much you enjoyed their company. If they respond positively, ask if they’d like to go out again sometime.

• If possible, try to find out beforehand whether they have feelings for you or if they are interested in someone else.
• Once you and the person are friends, invite them out. If they decline, you can say something like, "That’s alright, I was just thinking about it."