Buzz
There are people who thrive on constant debate. It doesn't matter what the subject is; for some, the drive to be right or appear superior is overwhelming. They are rarely open to being wrong. The best strategy for handling such argumentative individuals is to avoid becoming one yourself. The most effective way to frustrate them is by denying them the chance to argue, not taking their views seriously, and pointing out their flaws.
Instructions
Steering Clear of Arguments
Refrain from engaging in arguments. It might feel challenging to resist being drawn into a debate, but when dealing with a highly argumentative person, remind yourself that they likely don’t want your opinion. Nothing you say will be persuasive enough to end the debate, and these individuals will hardly ever admit when they are wrong. To save yourself the stress, simply state that you’re not interested in debating the topic.
Stay away from controversial subjects. When engaging with an argumentative person, try to keep the conversation light and inconsequential. If a sensitive topic arises—one that frequently sparks debates, like gun control or abortion—simply express disinterest or state that you don't wish to discuss it.
- Shift the topic. If you sense an argument brewing, try diverting the conversation in a different direction instead of engaging in the disagreement.
Maintain your composure. Don’t let yourself get upset. If you allow an argumentative person to see that you're emotionally affected, they'll feel a sense of victory or dominance, which may only push them to continue. If you remain calm and unaffected, your opponent will grow frustrated and might eventually seek out someone more easily provoked.
- Speak softly. When one person raises their voice, the other tends to get louder. By keeping your tone quiet, you might even come across as wiser, which is sure to irritate your opponent.
Act uninterested. Glance at your watch or check your phone messages. Let the person know that you have more important things to attend to and excuse yourself. Arguments give argumentative people a sense of superiority, so by showing disinterest, you take away that sense of power and project your own dominance.
Agree without truly agreeing. You can say something like, "You may be right, but I prefer my way." Once you make such a statement, there’s nothing more to argue about. Another approach is to nod without actually agreeing. Allow the person to voice their opinion and then move the conversation forward as though an understanding has been reached.
- Make sounds of agreement without actually agreeing. This subtly slows down their argument and helps keep the exchange more low-key.
Creating Frustrating Arguments
Tell them they're wrong. Don’t back this statement with any debatable facts. Simply declare that they are wrong and refuse to explain any further. Nothing will frustrate an argumentative person more than being told they’re wrong, especially when they’re actually right.
Ask for evidence. Even if the other person’s argument holds some weight, demand proof for every claim they make. Don’t engage further in the discussion until they provide solid proof. Try to create as much work as possible for them, making the argument too time-consuming and draining to be worth continuing.
Highlight poor grammar. If your opponent misuses any words during the argument, stop them right there and point it out. This will not only disrupt their flow but also make them feel intellectually inferior. The more petty and insignificant your corrections are, the more effective they become. For instance, when they send you a lengthy argument, you could reply with a simple correction like, "It's 'You're,' not 'Your.'"
Talk down to them. Be as condescending as possible to assert your superiority. For example, you could offer to use simpler words so they can understand you more easily.
- Roll your eyes. Look up and slowly move your gaze to the other side of the room. A subtle shake of your head while doing so will show that you find their arguments ridiculous and unworthy of serious attention.
Reference absurd, irrelevant sources. Mention movies, TV shows, or any unrelated figures as credible references. Quoting song lyrics is also a great tactic. This strategy is especially difficult to respond to because your opponent will first need to figure out whether you're being serious before they can come up with a counterargument.
- For example, in an argument about American foreign policy, you could respond with, "Well, as Billy Joel said, 'We didn't start the fire.'"
Highlight the triviality. If the argument is about something insignificant, make sure to point out that your opponent is exaggerating due to their inherently combative nature. Argumentative individuals often treat every debate as if it's of the utmost importance, when in fact it’s really about proving themselves right. By showing them how their need to argue reflects poorly on their character, you may deter them from continuing.
Turn it personal. Forget about the actual subject of the argument and shift focus to insults and rudeness. For example, if you're losing a discussion about poverty, you could say, "You should spend less time worrying about poverty and more time figuring out a new hairstyle." This tactic won’t help you win the argument, but it may silence and embarrass your overly aggressive opponent. Be warned, though, it could escalate into a physical confrontation.
Managing Your Emotions
Keep your composure. Argumentative individuals often push buttons in hopes of provoking an emotional reaction. Do not let them see if you’re upset or angry.
- Smile. Show your opponent that they won’t get under your skin. Often, this is exactly what an angry, argumentative person is trying to achieve.
Ask them questions. Instead of trying to convince an argumentative person to adopt your perspective, ask them questions that prompt them to explain their point of view. This can often lead to understanding the core issue behind the argument. For example, ask, "What’s the reasoning behind that idea?" This allows them to express themselves without forcing you to defend your stance. By giving them space to vent, they may calm down, even if the disagreement remains unresolved.
Recognize when to step away. If you sense that the situation won't end positively, it's best to walk away. You can always revisit the topic later when you're able to approach it more rationally.
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Avoid engaging with individuals who are physically stronger than you, in case things escalate beyond what you anticipate.
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Be mindful of your words. Always think twice before saying something you might regret during an argument.
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Don’t let them see you getting irritated. Keep smiling through the exchange. This will frustrate them because they'll think they’re not getting under your skin!
The insights shared in this section come from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have any tips or advice you’d like to contribute, please submit them in the field below.
- If you want to appear even more bored, try yawning without covering your mouth, scanning the room, or fidgeting with something nearby.
