How to Know if You're in Love

There are various forms of love, but distinguishing whether you're truly in love or just experiencing the pangs of fleeting infatuation can be tricky. However, by focusing on your feelings and actions when you're around someone special, you'll be able to recognize whether you're genuinely in love. If you're curious about how to do this, follow the steps outlined below.

Consider whether you can imagine a future without the person you love. If you're truly in love, you won’t find it hard to picture a future with them. Day or night, whether you're alone or with friends, the truth is you can't stop thinking about them—this is a clear sign that you're in love, and perhaps have found "the one." Whether it’s moving to a new city, having kids, going abroad for a year, or pursuing future goals, you always envision accomplishing these things with your partner by your side. If you can't imagine living the rest of your life without them—whether it’s next summer, next year, or anytime in the future—it’s very likely that you’re truly in love. Here are a few other signs that indicate you may be in love:

• When you can’t imagine starting a new chapter of your life, like a new job or moving to a new home, without your partner by your side.
• When you think about having children, but you can’t picture anyone other than them as the parent of your child.
• When you can’t imagine growing old without them by your side.

Try seeing if you can stop thinking about them for a few hours. When you're in love, it's not necessary to be constantly obsessed with the other person. In fact, the opposite should be true. In a healthy relationship, you'll be able to be apart from your partner without constantly wondering what they’re doing every five seconds. However, if you can completely forget about them for a week or even a month, it likely means you really like them, but you haven't quite reached the stage of love yet. Here are a few other signs that show you're truly in love:

• When you're reading a book or watching a movie without your partner, you might wonder what they would think about it.
• When you try on new clothes without your special someone, you might wonder if they would like the way you look.
• If you call or text them just to say hi or hear their voice, you’re probably in love.

Try seeing if you truly value their opinion. If you're in love, you won't see your partner as a flawless idol to be revered. Instead, you'll appreciate them as a person with interesting perspectives and unique ideas. If you're really in love, you'll care about their thoughts on important matters, such as the next steps in your career or national politics. While you don't have to agree with everything they think, if you don't genuinely value their viewpoints, you may not be in love yet. Here are some signs that you've truly found the right person:

• When you're about to make an important decision, if you consider their opinion, it means your feelings for them are serious enough to be called love.
• In difficult social situations, if you value their perspective on what you should do, you’re likely in love.
• If you pay attention to what they think about news, politics, art, or what’s important to you, you may be in love.

Try seeing if being with them makes you want to be a better person. If you're truly in love, you won’t just feel comfortable with them, even if you’re already happy with who you are. Although it’s important to feel good about the relationship and who you are, being with them will inspire you to improve yourself and strive to become the best person you can be. Here are some other signs that you might truly be in love:

• If being with them makes you want to read more, learn more, and care about a wider range of topics—not just to please them, but because they genuinely inspire you to change your life positively, then you're likely in love.
• If being with them encourages you to work on your flaws and develop your character, you’re probably in love.

Try seeing if being with your partner makes you feel like the best version of yourself. If you're really in love, your partner will bring out the best in you. Ultimately, if you're truly in love, you’ll want to be with them for the rest of your life, so they should make you feel like you’re at your best. If you feel like you can never truly be yourself or that you're lacking in some way when you're around them, that’s not love. Here are some signs that you might be falling in love:

• Being with them makes you feel like the most attractive version of yourself, even when you’re just wearing your usual clothes.
• You feel like the smartest and most insightful version of yourself when you discuss any topic with them.
• You feel the most confident when you're with them, never worrying about saying something silly when you speak.

Try seeing if you can accept their flaws. When you're truly in love, you see your partner as a real person, complete with their imperfections, not as a perfect being. If you’re insistent on the idea that they must be flawless, you may have a big issue. But if you're comfortable accepting that they may be a bit selfish or not the best listener in the world, it shows that you have a more realistic view of the relationship and are likely in love.

• Recognizing their flaws doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to help them improve, if it’s something worth working on.
• If you can’t think of two or three things that make them less than perfect, you might not be seeing them for who they truly are.
• If you and your partner are comfortable enough to laugh about each other’s flaws, you’re probably really in love.

Try seeing if you enjoy helping your partner. Love requires both giving and receiving. When you're in love, you’ll enjoy both. You’ll feel happy making lunch, driving them when they need to go somewhere, or even doing their laundry when they’re sick or feeling down. While you shouldn't allow yourself to be taken advantage of, you won't mind helping when your partner needs a hand, and they will reciprocate by helping you as well. Here are a few other signs that you might truly be in love:

• You feel happy making coffee for them or surprising them with a treat from their favorite bakery without feeling like you're wasting your precious time.
• You enjoy teaching them something new, whether it’s how to make the perfect burger or solving a tricky math problem.

Try seeing if your partner makes you laugh. Love doesn’t have to be serious all the time. Sure, you can spend hours gazing into each other's eyes, but eventually, that can get boring. If you're truly in love, you'll find yourself being a little silly, laughing with your partner, and appreciating their sense of humor. While you don't need to be a comedian for your relationship to thrive, being able to laugh together repeatedly is incredibly beneficial. It shows that you’re comfortable (and happy) with each other enough to share laughter.

• If they can make you laugh even when you're feeling down, you're probably in love.

Try seeing if you enjoy doing small things with your partner. True love isn’t like a reality show episode of The Bachelor – while riding in a helicopter together or having a romantic picnic in a vineyard might be thrilling and special, true love means you can find joy in the simplest moments together, whether it’s grabbing a beer at the bar, adopting a kitten, or stopping for ice cream on the way home. Here are a few signs that you truly value your time with them:

• You enjoy sitting together and watching your favorite TV shows with them.
• You enjoy going out for ice cream as much as you enjoy sharing a fancy dinner.
• You love spending evenings together or occasionally going out on extravagant dates.

Try seeing if you can weather tough times together. Love isn't always a bed of roses; however, if you're truly in love, the good days will far outweigh the bad, and you’ll feel comfortable being with them through difficult situations, from job loss to the death of a loved one. Tough times test the strength of your relationship, and if you haven't yet gone through hardships together, you don’t have enough information to know whether you're truly in love.

• If you can work through relationship challenges, like figuring out how to stay connected during super busy schedules or supporting each other through a life-changing setback, your bond will grow even stronger.
• If you can hold steady when a loved one passes away, you’ve likely found true love.

Try seeing if you would be willing to step out of your comfort zone for them. If you're truly in love, you'd be open to trying new and surprising things for them, even if it makes you feel uneasy or anxious. This doesn't mean you should go through extreme challenges or embarrass yourself to gain their affection, but it does mean you'd go to an unfamiliar place like Guatemala to meet their distant relatives or join them for a few mountain climbing trips if they love it.

• If you're willing to do something you thought you'd never do, like learning a new language or taking swimming lessons because it’s important to them, then you’re probably in love.
• If you find yourself becoming more comfortable in uncomfortable situations, whether they're with or without your partner, you might be in love.

Try seeing if you're willing to make compromises for them. If you're truly in love, you’ll understand that things can’t always go your way. If your partner constantly gives in to your demands because you're too stubborn, then you haven’t found love yet. Love means sometimes you get what you want and sometimes you let your partner have their way, or you find a way to both be happy.

• If you're in love, you not only can compromise with your partner but also enjoy making decisions together, rather than feeling like you’re never getting what you want.
• If it’s love, both of you can make sacrifices for each other, rather than one person always trying to please the other.

Try seeing if you can truly be yourself around them. If you're truly in love, you won't need to become a replica of them, mimicking all their interests and dropping your own. Instead, you’ll stay true to yourself while your love blossoms. If you're truly in love, you’ll:

• Feel comfortable hanging out with your friends without them and allow them to do the same.
• Continue to pursue your interests, such as yoga or soccer, even if they’re not interested in them.
• Enjoy spending time alone rather than constantly being with them.

Try seeing if you're honest about your thoughts with them. If you're truly in love, you won't feel the need to hold anything back in your conversations. This doesn’t mean you should share every little irritation or complain about them just to be honest. It means you should feel comfortable enough in the relationship to express what bothers you or share your true emotions without feeling like your thoughts are unimportant or that they’ll get bored, angry, or simply not care.

• If you can tell your partner exactly how you feel without worrying that you sound childish or silly, then you might be in love.
• If you can easily share silly jokes, no matter how crude they are, then you and your partner are definitely in sync.

See if you enjoy spending hours talking about anything and everything with your partner. When you're truly in love, you and your significant other don't need to have deep, philosophical discussions about life's meaning or the state of your relationship all the time. Many relationships are built on the small, everyday moments, and most conversations don’t need to be earth-shattering to be perfect.

• If you're genuinely in love, you'd be happy to discuss the latest episode of "Breaking Bad" with your partner or engage in a casual chat during a baseball game, and feel perfectly content with that.
• If you hang up the phone after laughing together for ages with your partner and wonder, "What exactly did we talk about?", you're likely in love.

See if you're comfortable revealing your vulnerabilities to them. If you truly love someone, you'll be able to show them your authentic self, even the parts you're not proud of. If everything you say is carefully curated to make them like you more or want to spend more time with you, you're still holding back and haven't yet reached the level of true love.

• If you're open to sharing past mistakes or frustrations with them, you're probably in love.
• You don’t need to disclose every painful moment, but after sharing, you'll feel a sense of relief. In love, we accept each other's flaws and imperfections.

See if you're constantly coming up with fresh ways to compliment your partner. If you're truly in love, your mind will be full of new thoughts on how to praise your partner. If all you can think of is, "She's so hot" or "He's so funny", you might need to dig deeper to understand the real reasons behind your love. When it’s love, you'll admire both their inner and outer qualities.

• If you’re constantly amazed by their seemingly endless good qualities, you're likely in love.
• If you frequently share what you appreciate about them, and do so sincerely, you're definitely in love.

• When you hear love songs and think of that "special someone", it could be a sign that you're in love.
• If you're in love, you might suddenly feel your heart race and beat faster than usual when you see them.
• If you like someone, you might blush and feel embarrassed around them. But when you truly like or love someone, you become self-aware but feel comfortable being yourself around them.
• Your heart might race, you may blush, feel excited or nervous. But remember, love requires patience. Things will unfold at the right time.
• That person makes you feel excited and happy, but most importantly, they inspire you to bring out the best in yourself, even if they don't reciprocate your feelings.
• Don’t rush into love! Find the right person. Don’t force yourself to "love" someone just because they are famous or because you think you should.
• Every time you mention their name, you can’t help but smile; you might be in love.
• If you’re willing to wait for them or stay put for a long time, it’s likely love.
• When you love someone, you find it hard to sleep because you can't stop thinking about them.
• You would do anything, as long as it’s necessary and good for them, even if it's not something you want to do.

• What you think is love might just be infatuation or desire.
• Many people confuse liking someone with being in love. See Advice.