Buzz
Relationship experts identify key signs that suggest your ex might be hoping for a fresh start with you.
Endings are never easy, particularly when you're trying to come to terms with losing someone significant in your life. After a breakup, you may find yourself searching for indications that your ex wants you back—but how do you really know if those signs exist? That’s where we step in. If you're contemplating whether you and your ex could have a chance at reconciliation, keep reading. Our thorough guide will help you understand the signals that could suggest they are waiting for you, and offer advice on what you should do next.
What You Need to Understand
- Your ex might initiate contact, sharing updates about their life post-breakup. They may also suggest meeting up to spend time together again.
- They could express a desire to remain friends and even reach out for your guidance or support, indicating that you still hold a special place in their life.
- In times when you need assistance, your ex might go out of their way to be available, demonstrating that you remain a priority to them.
- Your ex may even offer a heartfelt apology, owning up to past mistakes, and showing signs of personal growth as they patiently wait for your response.
Actionable Steps
Your ex reaches out and contacts you.
If your ex is initiating regular conversations, they may be truly missing you. After a breakup, it’s natural to need some distance; many people choose no-contact to process what happened. If your ex reaches out with texts or calls after some time apart, it could be a sign they've realized they miss you and are hoping for reconciliation.
- Before re-engaging with your ex, take a moment to reflect on the reasons for your breakup. Why did it end? Are you comfortable with re-establishing communication?
- If your ex was toxic (manipulative, unsupportive, dishonest, or even abusive), cutting them off might be the best choice. However, if you still have feelings for them and want another chance, replying might be the right decision.
They share updates about their life.
Your ex may try to reconnect by sharing personal updates. Once communication resumes, does your ex begin telling you about what’s happened since the breakup? From major life changes to everyday occurrences, they might fill you in on everything in detail. This shows how much they valued the relationship and how eager they are to reconnect with you.
- There’s no set rule about how much you should share with your ex. It largely depends on your unique situation and comfort level.
- If the breakup was friendly, you might feel comfortable talking soon after. However, if things ended badly, you may need time to heal before you're ready for any conversation.
They want to be friends again.
Friendship might be the first step toward rebuilding a connection with your ex. Has your ex suddenly expressed a desire to be friends again? If they directly mention that they’d love to reconnect as friends, it could mean they still have lingering feelings for you and want to be involved in your life once more. In some cases, friendship may be their subtle way of easing back into your world while they wait for the possibility of a romantic reunion.
- If you’re uncertain whether your ex wants just friendship or something more, observe their behavior. If they remain unusually friendly and eager to please, even after a tough breakup, they might be waiting for your next move.
- Make sure to set clear boundaries with your ex if you're still healing. Take all the time and space you need, and if you’re not ready for friendship yet, make sure to communicate that honestly.
Your ex follows you on social media.
Staying connected on social media could indicate they still care about you. Did your ex block you on social media after the breakup, only to follow you again later? Or did they never unfollow you at all? If your ex is still following you and checking out your posts and photos, they might be quietly hoping for your return.
- It’s possible they simply forgot to unfollow you, or haven’t yet removed all traces of you from their profile.
- However, you can often tell if they’re still waiting for you by their actions. If they frequently like or comment positively on your posts, it could be a sign that they’re holding onto feelings for you.
- If you feel like you need more space, don’t hesitate to block your ex. It’s perfectly okay to take the time you need to heal from a breakup and set the boundaries that are best for you.
Your ex asks you for advice.
Asking for your help might be their way of finding an excuse to talk more. If your ex still trusts you and feels there could be a reconnection, they might turn to you for advice, even before asking friends or family. Whether it's about a career choice or what movie to watch next, they could be using this as an opportunity to engage with you more.
- If you're open to reconciliation, feel free to offer advice. But take a moment to evaluate the situation before you jump in.
- Ask yourself if you’re ready to support them emotionally or if you need more time. Trust your instincts; your well-being is the priority!
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Start QuizExplore More QuizzesThey suggest plans to meet with you.
If your ex is hoping for reconciliation, they’ll likely be enthusiastic about seeing you again. While some exes may seek closure through meetings, an ex who’s waiting for you might suggest meeting up just for the sake of enjoyment. They’ll be proactive, responding quickly to your messages and doing whatever it takes to make sure you two reconnect.
- Your ex might even “bump into” you. Since they know your usual hangouts (favorite cafes, stores, etc.), they may start visiting those places in hopes of running into you.
- If you’re not ready to meet your ex, consider being clear about your boundaries. Tell them you need more time and stop communicating with them for a while to create some space.
- Trust your instincts—if your ex's actions feel inappropriate or make you uncomfortable, prioritize your safety. You can always take further steps like involving the authorities or filing for a restraining order if necessary.
They remember meaningful dates.
Your ex may reach out on special occasions, showing they’re still thinking of you. Do you still receive thoughtful messages on your birthday or other holidays? Maybe they even remember personal dates like your sibling’s birthday or your parent’s anniversary? If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll likely keep track of these moments that matter to you.
- The tone of the message can reveal more. If they’re waiting for you, they may add something personal and try to extend the conversation.
- For instance, they might text, “Happy Birthday! I hope it was a wonderful day. You deserve it.” If you reply, they might follow up with something like, “So, how did you celebrate? Was it something special?”
Your ex is always there when you need them.
By making themselves available, your ex is signaling that you’re still a priority in their life. Do they reply to your texts almost instantly? Are they willing to help you, even if it inconveniences them? Despite the breakup, do they continue offering their time, energy, and advice? Your ex may be trying to prove how much they still value you, occasionally stepping into the role of your rescuer.
- For example, if you were stranded at work, your ex might rush to give you a ride. If you were facing a family dilemma, they’d be the first to offer guidance.
- If you’re also open to the idea of getting back together, it’s fine to accept their help. But if you’re not, it’s important to communicate that clearly to avoid leading them on.
They’re still not seeing anyone else.
If your ex is staying single, it could mean they’re holding out for you. Has it been months since the breakup, yet your ex hasn’t dated anyone casually? If they’re still single, it could be a sign they’re waiting for you and have no desire to move on. They might even drop subtle hints about their single status, gauging your reaction.
- For instance, they might say something like, “Guess it’s just me and my cat this Valentine’s Day. How about you?” or post something melancholy on social media about being single.
- Alternatively, if they’ve started dating again, your ex might introduce you to their new partner, possibly trying to spark jealousy by being affectionate in front of you.
They’re interested in knowing your relationship status.
Your ex may be curious about the possibility of getting back together. Do they often ask if you're seeing anyone or if there's a chance you might date again soon? If your ex is focused on your love life, they may be trying to gauge whether they still have a shot with you. This is especially likely if they remain single themselves.
- They might also inquire about you through your friends. If your friends mention that your ex has asked about your relationship status, it's a strong sign they’re waiting for you.
- If you’ve started dating someone, your ex might show signs of jealousy. If they seem bothered or even walk away when your date comes up, they could be harboring feelings of jealousy.
Your ex feels remorse about the breakup.
Feeling regret shows that they might wish things had turned out differently. Has your ex admitted they feel guilty about the breakup or apologized for their role in it? An ex who wants to reconcile may feel like they made a mistake and might even take all the blame (whether or not it’s justified). They could be hoping that if they apologize, you’ll reconsider and give them another chance.
- If your ex played a part in causing hurt leading to the breakup, their apology and regret is a positive step toward healing—and possibly getting back together (if that’s what you want).
- However, before moving forward, you’ll need to address the issues that caused the breakup to avoid them resurfacing (or becoming worse) in a potential new relationship.
They’re owning up to their mistakes.
Your ex might be hoping that taking responsibility could pave the way for reconciliation. Does your ex want to talk about the breakdown of your relationship and look for ways to make things right? Have they acknowledged their role in the breakup and asked how they can make amends? If your ex is showing a genuine interest in understanding what went wrong, they might be trying to win you back.
- If you’re open to restarting the relationship, their taking accountability is a great sign that they’re committed to making positive changes.
- Owning their mistakes indicates that your ex has matured and is ready to work on building a healthier relationship—something crucial if you decide to get back together.
Your ex is working on personal growth.
They may be showing you that they’re capable of being a better partner. Has your ex recognized their past mistakes and committed to improving? If they’re making noticeable changes in their life, it could be a sign that they realize they need to do more than simply wait for you—they need to prove to you that they can be the partner you deserve.
- For example, if they had a habit of always being late when you were together, and it made you feel unimportant, they might be working hard to become more punctual and reliable to show you they can do better.
- If your ex is waiting for you to return, they could be more punctual when they make plans with you, hoping to demonstrate that things will be different if you give them another chance.
- Rebuilding a relationship with an ex is possible, but it requires confronting past issues that might have caused harm. By making these improvements, your ex is showing you how serious they are about making things right.
Your ex often looks back on your shared memories.
By reflecting on your time together, they’re revealing how much they long for you. Does your ex frequently mention moments from your relationship, even without you bringing them up? If they’re hoping for you to come back, they might often talk about the “good old times” and the happiest memories, such as your first date or a memorable trip you both shared.
- For instance, they might say, “I walked past that restaurant we used to love. Do you remember how we’d stay there for hours just talking?”
- Your ex might also reminisce with statements like, “We were amazing together!” or “Being with you just felt right.”
Your ex begins to flirt with you again.
Your ex may observe your reactions to gauge if you're open to rekindling the relationship. If they’re still hoping for another chance, your ex may start flirting with you to see if you feel the same. Initially, they may use subtle body language, followed by playful teasing and suggestive comments when you're together. They might even send flirtatious texts to demonstrate they still care.
- Flirty body language might include lingering eye contact and casual touches. For example, your ex may find reasons to touch your hand or casually brush up against you while you're together.
- You can likely tell they're flirting by the way they speak to you. For instance, they might text things like, “What’s up, gorgeous?” or “Looking good today!”
Your ex tells you they miss you.
If your ex says they miss you, they may be hoping for reconciliation. Have you received a heartfelt message from your ex saying they miss you or the times you shared together? This could be their way of expressing that they want to get back together without directly stating it.
- For example, they might say, “I miss the nights we’d fall asleep on the couch talking about everything. You’re so easy to talk to.”
- Your ex may also reach out after a drink or two, telling you how much they miss you. However, they should be able to express these feelings sober as well.
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Reader Poll: We asked 426 Mytour readers for their best advice on how to move forward after reuniting with an ex, and only 8% of them recommended Setting boundaries about the past relationship. [Take Poll]
- If you're open to getting back together, it might be wise to hold off on discussing your past relationship until you both start moving forward together.
Join the Discussion...
It's been almost a year since my ex and I broke up. While it was a difficult time for both of us, we’ve stayed friendly and moved forward separately. Lately, however, we've started flirting a bit, and now I'm considering asking her out again. Is this a bad idea? I know getting back with an ex can be risky, but how do you know if it's just about getting it right this time? I'd love to hear others’ experiences on this and how things turned out.
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Licensed Psychologist
People break up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it's due to a lack of readiness for the commitment required, other times it’s because either person needs personal growth. People evolve over time, and in hindsight, they might realize, “I had an amazing partner, and now I feel ready to meet their needs.” It’s entirely possible to fall back in love with someone who has gone through such personal growth and is now in a better place to commit.
If you and your ex can have honest discussions about 1. What went wrong in your relationship, 2. What has changed since, and 3. What will be different in the new relationship (with actionable steps), you have a solid chance. When I got back together with my ex, who is now my wife, we created a plan and scheduled regular check-ins to keep our relationship on track. Open communication is key!
See all 24 Replies and
Read Discussion-
Some couples reunite just 1 to 3 months after breaking up, while others may take longer. However, most couples who get back together do so within six months of their breakup.
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If your ex shows several of these signs, it’s more likely that they are waiting for you. If you notice only a couple of signs, they may just be trying to remain friends. Be cautious and make sure to communicate with your ex before jumping to any conclusions.
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Ultimately, if you decide to reconnect with your ex, the best approach is to be honest and clear about your intentions. Invite them out for a casual hangout and express your romantic interest.
