Buzz
While bonding with your friend might come naturally, winning over their parents can feel like a whole new challenge! However, by demonstrating courtesy, showing respect, and actively engaging in conversation, you can easily create a favorable impression on them. If it’s your first time meeting their parents, aim to showcase the best version of yourself. Adhering to their household rules is equally crucial. Remember, if you treat your friend well, their parents are likely to reciprocate the kindness.
Steps to Follow
First-Time Meeting Tips
Seek advice from your friend beforehand. Before meeting your friend’s parents, gather some insights about them to avoid any unintentional missteps. Ask your friend for suggestions on how to make a strong first impression.
- If their parents disapprove of a particular activity, steer clear of mentioning it. For instance, if they dislike skateboarding, avoid bringing it up and focus on discussing your other interests.
- On the flip side, if their parents have a specific interest, find a way to weave it into the conversation. For example, if their father was a musician, you could say, “I heard you used to play in a band. That’s fascinating! Do you have any memorable stories to share?”
Introduce yourself courteously. Upon meeting them, greet them with a smile and extend your right hand for a confident handshake. Share your name and, if appropriate, mention how you know their child or what your plans are.
- For instance, you might say, "Hello, Mr. Mann. I’m Grace. Kayla and I have been collaborating on our science project for the past few days. We’ll be working upstairs. It’s a pleasure to meet you!"
- Maintain a smile and avoid slouching or crossing your arms during the introduction.
Use their appropriate titles. Always address the parents formally, using their last name and a title like Mr., Mrs., or Dr. This shows respect and politeness.
- If they invite you to use their first name or a nickname, feel free to do so, but only after they’ve given you permission.
Dress suitably for the occasion. Select attire that matches the setting. For example, opt for slacks or a dress at a formal dinner, but a swimsuit is fine for a pool party.
- Ensure your clothes are clean and neat, and groom your hair appropriately.
- If you know their parents have specific preferences, consider dressing accordingly. For example, avoid sleeveless tops if they dislike them.
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 1210 Mytour readers about their attire for first meetings with their friend or partner’s parents, and only 5% preferred wearing something bold. [Take Poll] Most recommend wearing something polished, comfortable, and appropriate for the occasion.
Engage them in conversation. Be prepared to discuss topics like your family, hobbies, or schoolwork if they ask. Show interest in their stories by asking thoughtful questions.
- Avoid sensitive topics like politics or religion to prevent unintentional offense.
- When asked how you are, respond politely and reciprocate the question. Avoid short answers like “fine” and instead say, “I’m doing well, thank you. How about you?”
- Ask open-ended questions to encourage detailed responses, such as, “What inspired you to pursue a career in publishing, Mrs. Darcy?”
Highlight your achievements when prompted. Some parents may inquire about your life to assess your influence on their child. Focus on your strengths and avoid discussing negative habits or failures.
- For example, if asked about your job, you could say, “I’m currently job hunting and have had some promising leads recently.”
- Be truthful but emphasize the positive. If asked about your grades, you might say, “History isn’t my strongest subject, but I excel in algebra.”
Spending Time at Your Friend’s House
Respect their household rules. When visiting, adhere to any guidelines set by the family. If unsure about a rule, politely ask for clarification.
- Observe if others remove their shoes indoors. If uncertain, inquire, "Should I take off my shoes?"
- Refrain from criticizing their rules. Avoid remarks like, “Why do we have to be so quiet? It’s not like we’re disturbing anyone.”
- If you smoke, abstain from doing so in their home, even if the parents smoke themselves.
Seek approval before taking action. Always ask before grabbing a drink, having a snack, or stepping out. This demonstrates respect for their home and boundaries, leaving a positive impression.
- For example, say, "Mr. Phillips, Kayla and I were thinking of heading to the park for a bit. Would that be okay?"
- While you don’t need permission to use the restroom, ask for its location to avoid wandering into the wrong area. You might say, "Could you point me to the bathroom?"
Offer genuine compliments about their home. During your first visit, express sincere admiration for their space. Compliment their decor, garden, or other features.
- For instance, say, “Mrs. Jones, your home is beautiful. I love the artwork. Where did you find these pieces?”
- Keep compliments natural and avoid overdoing it, as it may come across as insincere.
Display proper table etiquette. If dining with your friend’s family, ensure you behave politely. Offer to help set the table and wait until everyone is served or the parents begin eating.
- If the family says a prayer or blessing, remain respectfully silent, even if you don’t share their beliefs.
- Sample a bit of each dish served. Inform them of any allergies or dietary restrictions beforehand so they can accommodate you.
- Sit upright, avoid slouching, and keep your elbows off the table. Refrain from using your phone during the meal.
Send them a thank you note after special occasions. If your friend’s parents have gone out of their way for you—like treating you to a meal or hosting you for a few days—express your gratitude with a short thank you note. This can be a handwritten letter or an email. Include a few sentences appreciating their kindness and mentioning how much you enjoyed spending time with them.
- For instance, you could write, “Thank you so much for inviting Emily and me to the zoo last weekend. I had an amazing time, and I truly enjoy being around your family. I can’t wait for our next outing. Warm regards, Oliver.”
Building a Positive Relationship
Apologize if you’ve made a mistake. If you unintentionally upset their parents or break a rule, don’t panic. Offer a genuine apology and, if appropriate, explain what happened.
- For example, say, “I’m really sorry for keeping Mia out so late. I lost track of time, and it won’t happen again. I promise.”
Be courteous on the phone. When calling your friend’s house, you might reach their parents or an answering machine. Always introduce yourself, state who you’re calling for, and politely ask to speak to your friend.
- If a parent answers, say, “Hi, this is Alex. May I speak to Ryan, please?”
- If you reach an answering machine, leave a message like, “Hello, this is Alex Carter. I’m calling Ryan about our group project. Could you please have him call me back? Thank you.”
Share your contact details if you’re comfortable. If you feel at ease, provide your phone number and let them know where you live. Assure them they can reach you anytime you’re with their child. This builds trust and gives them peace of mind.
- You might say, "I live on Maple Avenue, Mrs. Thompson. Would you like my number in case you need to reach me?"
Be mindful of your social media activity. You can’t predict who might be viewing your social media profiles. Many parents keep an eye on their children’s accounts, so ensure your posts don’t include anything that could cause embarrassment. Refrain from sharing photos that could be awkward for you or your friend.
- Steer clear of posting images of you and your friend engaging in drinking or risky behavior.
- Always ask your friend for consent before tagging them in any photos.
- Avoid using profanity or inappropriate language online where your friend’s parents might see it.
Be a good friend to their child. When interacting with their parents, treat your friend with kindness and respect. Even when their parents aren’t present, remember that your friend might share details about your behavior. If their parents see that their child trusts you, they’re more likely to trust you too.
- You might have inside jokes or nicknames that your friend understands, but these could come across as disrespectful to their parents. Avoid using them in front of them.
- If you treat your friend poorly, they might inform their parents, which could harm their perception of you, even if you reconcile later.
