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Is your family currently experiencing violence, breakdown, or instability? Deciding to leave your family is never an easy choice, but in certain situations, cutting ties may be the best way to heal from a painful past and protect yourself, your children, and your assets from future harm. Depending on your age, circumstances, and location, you may be able to take legal measures to prevent your family from accessing you.
Steps
Leaving Your Family as a Minor
Consider contacting Child Protective Services. If you are under 18 and feel you are in a dangerous situation, reach out to your local Child Protective Services for assistance. The most critical first step is moving to a safe location. Once you leave your family, Child Protective Services will help determine the best course of action to ensure your family cannot harm you.
- If you're unsure whether to contact Child Protective Services, discuss your options with trusted individuals such as teachers, school counselors, or your friends' parents.
- Understand that once you turn 18, your parents will no longer have legal authority over you. You may not get along with your parents, but are they truly putting you in danger? If not, it might be best to wait it out. At 18, you can live life on your own terms.
Determine if pursuing emancipation is the right choice. If you are a minor, the legal way to leave your family is through "emancipation." This means you will be treated as an adult with the right to make your own decisions, and your parents will no longer be your legal guardians. In most places, you must be at least 16 years old to seek emancipation. This path might be suitable for you if the following applies:
- You are being abused by your parents.
- Your parents are unable to care for you.
- Your parents engage in immoral behavior toward you.
- You are financially independent and want the rights of an adult.
Become financially independent. A judge will not grant you the right to live independently unless you can prove you are self-sufficient like an adult. This means you must earn enough to cover your housing, medical bills, and all other expenses. Once you are allowed to live independently, your parents will no longer be legally responsible for providing financial support for your basic needs.
- Start by finding a job as soon as possible. Save as much money as you can, and avoid spending on unnecessary items.
- Move out of your family home and into your own place. You can also stay with friends or relatives, as long as they agree to let you live with them long-term.
Obtain parental consent. The process of emancipation becomes much easier if your parents agree to relinquish their legal responsibility for you. If they do not agree, you will need to prove that they are unfit parents.
File the correct paperwork. You need to complete a petition for emancipation, which you can obtain from your local courthouse. You will also need to submit documents related to your financial status, employment, and living situation.
- If possible, seek legal assistance when filling out the paperwork. A lawyer familiar with local laws can guide you through the process to ensure everything is completed accurately. Look for ways to hire a lawyer if you have a low income.
Attend the preliminary hearing and court session. After submitting your petition and other documents to the court, you will receive a date for a preliminary hearing where both you and your parents must attend. Your situation will be evaluated, and if your parents oppose your emancipation, you will need to attend a court session to prove they are unfit parents.
- Your family situation may be investigated after the preliminary hearing.
- If you can prove that you are capable of living as an adult, you will be free to cut all ties with your parents and family members—meaning you have successfully left them behind.
Leaving Your Family as an Adult
Create distance between yourself and your family. If you are experiencing physical abuse or feel you can no longer endure the situation, the most important step is to move to a safe place where your family cannot harm you. If you are over 18, your parents and relatives have no legal authority over where you live.
- If you are not yet financially independent, consider staying with friends or relatives until you can support yourself.
Cut off communication. As an adult, "leaving" your family primarily means ceasing contact with them. Stop calling them and avoid answering their calls. Do the same with emails and other communication channels. Do not provide them with your address and ask others not to disclose your location.
- You may need to change your phone number and email address to make it harder for your family to reach you.
- Consider sending a formal letter explaining that you are cutting off contact. Clearly state that you no longer wish to communicate, that you want to separate from them, and that you will take legal action if they attempt to contact you.
Consider obtaining a restraining order. If you or your children are being abused by your family, you may need to request a restraining order to legally enforce their distance. A Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) can prevent your family from contacting you or coming within a certain distance of you.
- Consider hiring a lawyer to guide you through the process of filing a restraining order. The process varies by location, and having a professional assist you with the forms and court proceedings increases your chances of obtaining protection.
- Once the restraining order is in effect, call the police immediately if any family members violate it.
Remove your family from your will. Another way to ensure your family cannot influence you or your children is to clearly outline your wishes in a legal will. Hire a lawyer to help you draft a will that specifies your preferences for end-of-life medical decisions, custody of your children, and how you want your assets handled.
Advice
- Only seek emancipation if your mental or physical health is at risk and your education is being neglected.
- This also depends on your age.
- Seek help from grandparents or other trusted older relatives.
- Try to resolve the situation with the help of a counselor.
- Living with your parents is often the best option unless they are neglectful.
- Remember, leaving your family is a significant decision. You must always have a valid reason for making this choice.
What You'll Need
- Money for a lawyer
