Buzz
It’s not unusual for someone to start flirting during a pleasant conversation. If you're in a relationship and you don’t want the person to continue flirting, but also don’t want to hurt their feelings, you can subtly hint at your situation and be more direct if they don’t get the hint. This article offers a few tested suggestions to help you express the truth.
Steps
Check your phone for messages from your boyfriend.
Take out your phone and mention that you're waiting to hear from your boyfriend. This harmless method signals that you're already taken without saying it outright. Simply act naturally and say you're waiting for a message from your boyfriend or that you need to reply to him.
- You could even pretend to listen to a voice message from your boyfriend. For example, you might say, 'Hold on, I have a voice message. My boyfriend just sent it.'
Casually mention your boyfriend.
Bring up your boyfriend within the first few minutes of the conversation. This is a subtle way to let the other person know you're in a relationship without directly discussing your romantic life. You don’t need to mention your boyfriend constantly—just a single mention will do. Here are a few examples of how to do this:
- 'My boyfriend and I are planning to watch this movie! He really liked the first part.'
- 'I've never been to that restaurant. The last time my boyfriend and I tried, it was fully booked.'
- 'I love that band. My boyfriend and I also saw their performance.'
Politely and kindly decline their advances.
Let them know you appreciate their feelings but you're already in a relationship. Since they don’t know you're taken, it's important to respond with kindness and respect. Remember, they gathered the courage to flirt or ask you out, so don't punish them for it.
- You could say, 'I already have a boyfriend, but I really appreciate your interest in me. Thank you for your kind words, they make me feel really special!'
Continue talking with them after revealing the truth.
Keep the conversation going to ease any awkwardness. Avoid long silences after mentioning that you have a boyfriend to prevent making things uncomfortable. Instead, ask something that encourages them to talk more. For example, after mentioning your boyfriend, ask what they like or ask for their advice.
- If you say, 'My boyfriend and I enjoy listening to new bands,' you could follow up with, 'Do you know any cool bands or places to check out?'
- Feel free to change the topic or invite others to join the conversation.
Acknowledge the awkwardness if necessary.
Apologize if you think you unintentionally caused any misunderstanding. Sometimes, you might just be having a casual conversation and not realize you’ve mentioned your boyfriend. This could create awkwardness, especially if you’ve been talking for a while without mentioning him. In such cases, be upfront about your relationship status.
- If they continue to flirt, you could say, 'We should stop here. I should’ve made it clear sooner that I have a boyfriend.'
- If reconnecting with an old friend who doesn’t know about your relationship, let them know by saying, 'Do you know Nam? We’ve been dating for a few months.'
Introduce the person to your boyfriend.
Bring your boyfriend over if he’s nearby. There’s no faster way to send a signal than to have your boyfriend come over and give you a hug. However, this only works if you're both at the same place, and you can say, 'This is Nam, my boyfriend.'
- Don’t forget to introduce the person to your boyfriend.
Ask a friend to tell them for you.
A friend can help you deliver the truth tactfully if you're not ready to say it yourself. After all, friends are the ones who always support us! You could excuse yourself for a moment, say you need to go to the restroom or step outside, allowing your friend to bring up your dating situation. This approach makes it easier for them, as they won't feel like they are putting you in an uncomfortable position.
- Your friend might say, "I know you like her, but she's already in a relationship."
Tell them to stop flirting if they still don’t pick up on the hints.
Firmly ask them to stop flirting with you. Speak assertively to make it clear that you are uncomfortable with their gestures or flirtatious behavior. If they don't stop, you can raise your voice to ensure others hear. This will make them feel embarrassed and likely stop.
- For instance, you might say, "I think I've been clear, but maybe I wasn't. I'm uncomfortable with your flirtatious behavior, and I need you to stop."
- It would be best if you appear with others or maintain some distance between you and that person.
