How to Live Normally

The idea of what is considered normal constantly changes over time and depends on where you are. There is no fixed set of traits that define what makes a person normal. However, there are a few strategies to help you stay in tune with your environment if you face any challenges. Start by focusing on building confidence in yourself, and the good things will follow.

Pay attention to others' opinions. If you can reduce the level of worry about what others think of you, you will be happier and less stressed. You will also appear more normal because you will be more confident in yourself. The less you worry about fitting in, the more confident you will look.

Use body language to express confidence. Body language can make you appear confident and sure of yourself, even if you're feeling embarrassed or out of place. Recent research has shown that adopting a "power pose" can actually alter brain chemistry, releasing testosterone (the male hormone), making you feel stronger, and reducing cortisol, the hormone related to stress.

• Confident body language means "opening" yourself up. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, and push your shoulders back—don’t slouch or seem unapproachable as that increases stress hormones.
• Before entering a situation that makes you anxious (a new social setting, class, or interaction with people who have mocked you), find a private spot and strike a powerful pose for at least two minutes.
• Try the "Wonder Woman" pose: push your shoulders back, place your hands on your hips, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, and keep your head held high.
• Even just imagining yourself in a confident, strong pose can make a difference. Picture yourself sitting with your feet up on a table, leaning back in your chair, and placing your hands behind your head.
• Try standing with your shoulders straight and one hand on your hip.

Align your choices with what’s right. For instance, you might find yourself wondering if your phone case looks unusual—take a moment to reflect. If it’s something essential for your work or lifestyle, it might be a reasonable accessory. If you can easily tuck your phone into your pocket, there's no need to display it for others to judge. These logical justifications will help you think more critically about your habits and actions, boosting your confidence in the process.

Be at ease with communication. You need to know how to interact with others but also realize that others may not notice your unique style. When conversing, try asking questions and giving others the space to answer. Guide the discussion toward topics that make you feel comfortable, which will help you feel less awkward.

Take care of your body. You don’t have to be tall and slim to have an attractive body. However, your diet and exercise habits can improve how your body feels and performs. Confidence from feeling healthier helps you embrace yourself and gives you the appearance of confidence when engaging with others.

• Eat healthily. Try to incorporate a balanced mix of protein, carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables, and fats into your daily diet. You don’t need to constantly focus on health to be healthy—occasionally indulging in an ice cream cone or a bag of chips is perfectly fine. Just try not to overeat. Special meals will be more meaningful when enjoyed in moderation.
• Exercise often. If you spend a lot of time watching TV, get off the couch and enjoy some fresh air! Ride a bike, swim, or take a walk. Physical activity will help you stay healthy and improve your body shape.

Regularly try new things. Many people resist change, but trying new things is essential for expanding your horizons. Whether or not you end up enjoying them, you will learn something about yourself and the activity. Try a new hobby with friends to feel more comfortable.

Find people who share similarities with you. Especially if you're from a different culture, it can be tough to establish support channels when you're new to an area. Seek out individuals from environments similar to yours. While adapting to a new setting, it can be helpful to surround yourself with people who understand where you're coming from. This ensures a normal life with support and understanding from others.

• Consider searching for online meetup groups, local community groups, university cultural groups, or inquire about this at your place of worship.

Mirror the clothing of those around you. Aim to blend in without standing out negatively when it comes to your attire. While it’s important to wear the clothing of the culture you’re in, try not to appear too ordinary or less than others around you. This is particularly crucial in professional environments, though it can also be useful in social circles.

• Mirroring can help you build self-esteem—when you see yourself reflected in the attire or attitude of someone you admire, it can boost your confidence and alleviate insecurities.
• Until you feel confident and comfortable enough to take risks with your clothing, mirroring can help reduce vulnerability and increase connection with your peers.

Understand your environment in context. Adjusting your surroundings doesn’t only apply to new cultural settings but also to everyday situations. When you enter a room, take a moment to observe those around you. If everyone seems to be experiencing strong emotions, avoid doing anything that contradicts those emotions. You could make people even more frustrated, and the whole room may distance itself from you, especially if you tell an inappropriate joke.

• Pay attention to body language and facial expressions. Are people open and smiling, or are they reserved and frowning? Do they look comfortable and at ease, or stiff and tense?
• Is anyone speaking in a calm tone, shouting, or laughing loudly?

Engage in behaviors and activities like those around you. A key part of making others feel that you’re "one of them" is simply behaving like them. However, be cautious. Just because something is considered normal doesn’t mean it’s always right. Avoid unsafe and unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive drinking or using illegal substances, even if it suggests you’re not fitting in with a certain group.

• If everyone in your group is passionate about soccer, try to share that interest. Participate in a few games and learn the basics. If it truly doesn’t interest you, you don’t have to pursue it further, but it does require some effort.

Engage in social activities. Paradoxically, you can make yourself stand out (in an unusual way) by avoiding certain social activities. Try not to lose friends or distance yourself from colleagues by constantly turning down their invitations. Social outings can be intimidating, especially if they’re with people you don’t know well. You won’t always be invited to contribute ideas for a perfect evening, but the ability to participate in a variety of social events will make you seem more normal and approachable.

Cultivate a positive social life. The easiest way to do this is to be open to making friends wherever you go. Try not to stress too much about cliques or worry about who might be the right fit for you. If you become close with someone, the friendship will feel entirely natural and normal. Having friends will make you appear more friendly.

Be polite and well-mannered. Society tends to admire cheerful and positive individuals. Joking around with close friends is natural, but when aiming to make a good impression, try to be a bit more polite.

Don’t overshare too quickly. Meeting someone new is exciting, but there should be a natural time for small talk before you feel comfortable diving into deeper conversations. Avoid discussing personal or intimate topics (like health issues, sexual preferences, traumatic events, and other sensitive matters) until you’ve really gotten to know the person. When getting to know a new friend, be selective with your words to avoid making things feel awkward.

Control your emotions. Intense emotions are normal, even desirable at times. However, expressing extreme emotions, especially anger and sadness, can make others feel uncomfortable. Try to moderate your emotional reactions to minor issues and express your feelings constructively. Avoid yelling, throwing things, swearing, or becoming violent. Whenever possible, express dissatisfaction calmly, quietly, and politely.

• If you tend to get angry easily or feel that you might be depressed, don’t hesitate to contact a specialist or counselor. You’re not a "crazy" person in need of a doctor’s help. They are simply a resource to offer advice, help you overcome difficulties, or deal with something more significant.

Moderate your opinions. Strong opinions about certain matters, like politics, are normal—engaging in reasonable debates with others on such topics is fine. However, if you frequently mock or attack others because their opinions differ from yours, you may find yourself becoming somewhat of an outsider. Instead, try to listen to others’ viewpoints and stay open-minded.

Maintain a clean and tidy home or apartment. A dusty house or one cluttered with candy wrappers can leave a bad impression on guests. Most people take pride in presenting a relatively clean and neat appearance. Show your guests that you are capable of doing basic housework.

Strive to keep shared spaces tidy. Being messy elsewhere is fine, but not at home. However, this is a balancing act, as it can easily turn into frustration. Try to find a compromise between being overly obsessed with tidiness and completely ignoring it.

Take time to dress appropriately and maintain personal hygiene. The reason why humans have developed daily hygiene habits has been well understood. Practicing regular hygiene and dressing neatly is crucial for both your appearance and mental and physical health. A clean and organized routine helps you maintain a fresh look – and those around you will appreciate your effort.

• Brush your teeth and floss. Adding flossing to your daily oral care routine will help you maintain a beautiful smile in the long run.
• Use deodorant before leaving the house. Unpleasant body odor is a fast way to leave a bad impression. If you have strong body odor, visit a doctor for a prescription to help manage it.
• Even if you have long hair, get regular haircuts. It doesn’t have to be frequent, but taking care of your hair will leave a positive impression on those around you.