How to Maintain Positivity When You Feel Like Life is Going Downhill

There are many circumstances in life that can lead someone to feel like their world is falling apart. This could include losing loved ones, losing a job, experiencing prolonged unemployment, facing chronic illness, or going through a breakup, among other things. Feeling sad is a natural response to these situations. However, it's important to recognize that it is possible to bounce back from such experiences by adopting a positive mindset. This means reframing the problem in a more optimistic and effective way. Additionally, there are numerous strategies you can try to regain happiness and restore a positive outlook on life.

Look for reasons why you believe your life is falling apart. There are numerous factors that can make you feel like your life is spiraling downward. If you face constant stress on a daily basis, it can lead to feelings of anxiety or disappointment. You may even experience physical symptoms such as headaches or insomnia. Common sources of stress include:

• Major life changes. If you are going through sudden changes, such as the end of a relationship (or the beginning of a new one), a career shift, moving homes, etc., it can create significant stress.
• Family issues. If your family life is becoming chaotic, you may feel sad, frustrated, or anxious.
• Work/Study pressure. Obligations at work or school are significant stressors for many people. If you feel unappreciated in your job or studies, or if you feel stuck in a particular task, you may think your life is in a bad place.
• Social life. If you feel isolated or disconnected from others, it can make you believe your life is not going well. Alternatively, if you feel anxious about meeting new people or engaging in social situations, the stress of these interactions can exacerbate negative feelings.

Writing a Journal. One way to explore potential reasons for your emotions is to identify when you first experience them. Journaling allows you to pinpoint factors within your control in a situation, helping you maintain a positive mindset. Remember, the only thing you can control is your own actions and responses.

• For instance, you might notice that you feel most frustrated and down when you go to work. It could be because you feel unseen or unappreciated, or maybe it's because you're overworked. This situation is really tough.
• Ask yourself what factors you can control. You can’t control how others appreciate or perceive your contributions. However, you can take more initiative in claiming ownership of your achievements. You might start saying "yes" to any projects that come your way. Or, you could look for a different job within the company that suits you better. Find ways to empower yourself, and you’ll feel that your life isn’t as bad.
• Try making a list of things you can do to help yourself in specific situations. For example, if you feel overworked, consider talking to your boss about your workload or negotiating a raise. If you don't feel appreciated, look for a better opportunity elsewhere. Create a clear, actionable list of steps you can take to improve your situation.

Ask Yourself the Following Questions for Analysis. Are you dealing with any serious illness? Are you abusing drugs and/or alcohol? Have you recently gone through a significant life event? Have you lost a loved one recently? Are you facing personal conflicts? Do you have a history of abuse or trauma? Are you currently on any prescribed medication?

• If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it may offer insight into why you feel your life is quite challenging.

Consider Potential Biological Causes. Many individuals struggle to understand why they feel their lives are so miserable. Scientific research has shown that genetics play a significant role in depression. If someone in your family suffers from it, there’s a chance you might as well. Certain health conditions, such as hypothyroidism or chronic pain, can also contribute to depression.

• Women are twice as likely as men to experience depression.
• Hormonal fluctuations can also trigger depression.
• Changes in the brain can lead to depression. Studies on patients with depression have shown that the brain undergoes physical changes as well.

Recognizing Negative Feelings. It’s important to become aware of your negative thoughts so you can begin to transform them into positive ones. Negative thinkers often focus on the worst possible outcome. They also tend to exaggerate the negative aspects of any situation. Additionally, they have a tendency to view things from one perspective, either focusing solely on the good or the bad side of an issue.

Transform Negative Thoughts into Positive Ones. Make a habit of regularly checking in with your thoughts throughout the day. Identify those moments where negativity creeps in and consciously replace them with positive affirmations. Surrounding yourself with positive people is also helpful, as negativity can amplify your stress and feed into your own pessimistic mindset. Here are some examples of how to change negative thoughts into positive ones:

• This is crazy, I've never done this before. = This is a great opportunity to try something different.
• I’ll never be good at this. = I’ll give this another shot and keep improving.
• This change is overwhelming. = Let’s try something new and exciting!

Don't Define Yourself Based on Your Surroundings. You may feel that your position in life defines who you are. If your environment is tough, it can be challenging to maintain a positive outlook. Instead, focus on your inherent qualities rather than the temporary circumstances around you. Remember: these situations are fleeting.

• For example, if you're concerned about unemployment, remind yourself that your job situation does not define who you are. See it as an opportunity to pivot or explore a more meaningful job in a different field, such as volunteering or focusing on your family.
• If you're feeling down due to being bullied, keep in mind that bullies often project their own insecurities onto others. Their actions reflect who they are, not who you are. You should report it to an adult, such as a parent, counselor, or school principal, and remain strong.

Be Open to the World and Stay Socially Engaged. Often, people who feel like their lives are falling apart retreat from social interaction. Ironically, this only worsens feelings of depression. Take small steps to reconnect with others.

• Start by having coffee with friends or family.
• Make more phone calls to loved ones.
• Don’t expect to enjoy every moment at first, or to be the life of the party. The important thing is to take small steps to reenter social life.
• Be friendly with strangers you meet during your day. Don’t shy away from small talk. Conversations with strangers can boost your happiness.
• Join a club or a class to meet new people.

Strive for Clear Thinking. If you believe your life is utterly hopeless, there’s a chance you’re not thinking clearly and are not responding to situations with the appropriate mindset. Instead of allowing your thoughts to spiral out of control, challenge yourself to think rationally by asking the following questions:

• How can I assess whether this thought is valid?
• Is this always true?
• Are there any exceptions to this situation?
• What’s missing from the bigger picture?

Exercise Regularly and Maintain a Healthy Diet. Exercising three times a week has been proven to alleviate mild to moderate depression. It helps improve your self-esteem, enhances your sleep, and even boosts your mood. A healthy diet is another effective way to cope with depression. Limit alcohol consumption to one drink per day and consume a variety of healthy foods. Avoid substances like nicotine, recreational drugs, and other harmful habits.

• Aerobic exercises, in particular, are very effective. Aim for 30 minutes on a treadmill or a 30-minute walk.
• Yoga can also help ease tension.
• Include fish in your diet, drink plenty of water, eat whole grains, and incorporate fruits into your meals.

Meditate and Repeat Meaningful Quotes. Repeating messages, whether positive or negative, can have a profound impact on your mindset. Replace any negative thoughts with positive ones by filling your mind with meaningful reflections. Choose quotes that resonate with you to help get through your day. Repeat them whenever you feel overwhelmed, and take a moment to reflect on their true meaning. Here are a few examples:

• Be the change you wish to see in the world. (Mahatma Gandhi)
• Action is the antidote to despair. (Joan Baez)
• No one but ourselves can empty our minds. (Bob Marley)
• It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Discover the Meaning of Life. People who believe that their life has a clear purpose tend to be happier than those who feel their life lacks meaning. Have you ever taken the time to reflect on the meaning of life? No one can truly know the answer to this age-old question, but you can decide what life means to you. Seeking meaning in your life can give you the motivation to get out of bed each day, even when you're going through your darkest times.

• Some find life's meaning through religion or by nurturing their spiritual life.
• Exploring philosophy might help you understand your own worldview better.
• On a more personal note, the most meaningful aspects of life might be your relationships, career, art, or something else entirely.

Slow Down to Enjoy Life’s Simple Pleasures. Life has many moments that can bring you comfort and peace. Whether it's the feeling of your first morning coffee, walking to work under the sunshine, or taking a 10-minute break to smoke, savor them. Allow yourself to slow down and appreciate the good things in life. This practice will help you build a reservoir of positive thoughts that you can draw from when life feels overwhelming.

Help Others. Even small acts of kindness, like carrying someone else’s grocery bag, can enhance your positivity. Getting involved in volunteer work can lead to even greater rewards. Look for opportunities to offer something meaningful to others, and share your time generously.

• Unsure how you can help others? Look for a local shelter and volunteer for a few hours each week. You'll find that every minute you offer is valuable to someone in need.

Explore Cognitive Therapy Techniques to See If It’s Right for You. Most of the time spent in this therapy will involve addressing real-life issues you're facing. The therapist will assist you in identifying and altering negative thoughts and behaviors that are ineffective, aiming to reduce their impact on you. You’ll collaborate with the therapist to decide on the issues you will both discuss and the 'homework' tasks you’ll work on.

• Cognitive therapy has been shown to be as effective as antidepressants for improving mild to moderate depression.
• Cognitive therapy is also just as effective as antidepressants in preventing relapse.
• Benefits from this therapy typically appear within a few weeks.
• If this approach seems like it could work for you, consider scheduling an appointment with a cognitive therapist. You can start by searching for a therapist in your area through online websites, like vietask.com.

Look Into Communication Therapy to See If It’s Right for You. This approach is designed for individuals facing communication difficulties. It is a short-term treatment that typically lasts one hour each week for 12 to 16 weeks. Sessions are tailored to address issues in communication, social role changes, grief, and relationship development struggles.

• The therapist will employ techniques such as empathetic listening, role-playing, and analyzing communication processes.
• If you feel that this method may suit your needs, you can seek a therapist who specializes in communication therapy. Again, searching online, such as through vietask.com, is a good place to start.

Learn About Family Therapy. A family therapist focuses on helping family members resolve conflicts with one another. They will customize sessions based on your specific issues and welcome any family members who are willing to participate. The therapist will assess your family’s problem-solving abilities, explore each member’s role, and identify the strengths and weaknesses of your family dynamic.

• Family therapy is particularly effective for those experiencing issues within marriage or family relationships.
• If you think this approach may work for you, consider finding a family therapist. As with other therapies, you can search online, such as on vietask.com, to find professionals in your area.

Research Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This approach is based on the idea that achieving better health and greater happiness involves overcoming your negative thoughts, feelings, and attachments. The therapist will work with you to shift how you perceive negativity, helping you develop a more positive outlook on life.

• If you think Acceptance and Commitment Therapy might suit you, search online for therapists who use this method. Vietask.com is a useful portal to begin your search.

Be Careful When Choosing a Therapist. It’s important to check their training and professional credentials. Also, be aware of any potential fees and whether they accept the insurance you have. Don’t hesitate to ask how the therapist will approach patient care.

• Ensure that the therapist is licensed to practice in your area and check if they hold certifications in the specialty you’re seeking.
• Research the fees for each session and find out whether they offer income-based pricing or require upfront payment for the first session (it could be required or not).
• Ask about the frequency of sessions (weekly or more often), the duration of each session, and any restrictions on confidentiality during the process.

Seek Professional Help If These Methods Don’t Lead to a More Positive Outlook. Overcoming depression can be tough, and many people have sought their doctor’s advice to find a suitable solution. If you already have a personal doctor, it’s a good idea to reach out to them first. If not, you can search online for a doctor and schedule an appointment to discuss your situation.

Know What to Expect During Your Doctor’s Appointment. Many people associate a doctor’s office visit with blood tests and lab samples, but these activities are unrelated to diagnosing depression, as lab tests cannot reveal much about the condition. Instead, the doctor will perform a physical examination and conduct a personal interview to assess whether you're experiencing depression. The doctor will evaluate the following factors:

• Persistent sadness or hopelessness.
• Changes in weight.
• Fatigue.
• Insomnia.
• Thoughts of death or suicide.
• The doctor may also perform tests to determine if there’s a physical cause for your depression.

Your Doctor May Prescribe Antidepressants. In most cases, they will recommend therapy to address the depression, but many medications can also play a significant role in treatment. If your doctor prescribes medication, make sure to follow their instructions closely. Antidepressants should only be taken under the guidance of a doctor.

• Some commonly prescribed antidepressants include Paxil, Lexapro, Zoloft, and Prozac. Different medications work differently for each person, but they typically show their full effects within about a month.

• Avoid the impulse to act out emotionally with those around you. Instead, try writing, talking to friends, drawing, taking a walk, etc.
• Don’t indulge in self-pity. If you can’t change the situation, you can always look inward and choose how you respond to it.
• Don’t just ‘stay put’ when you could be actively looking for solutions.

• If you're feeling disheartened, it's wise to steer clear of using drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse can weigh heavily on you and may lead to a lifetime of addiction.
• If you urgently need support and believe you're at risk of self-harm, call 18001567 (Suicide and Abuse Prevention Hotline).