How to Make a Cat Trust You

Understand the feline mindset. You cannot force a cat to do anything, let alone trust you. Instead, cats need to be convinced that they will benefit from the action. For example, they might stop napping if they are offered treats. Don’t feel discouraged if you haven’t won them over yet. By nature, cats are quite aloof and unpredictable.

• Cats will struggle to adapt if you are noisy or chaotic. They dislike stress, loud noises, or excessive activity. Cats will warm up faster if you remain calm and relaxed around them.

Allocate a room and living space for your cat. A great way to make your cat comfortable is by giving them their own space. This should be a cozy, warm area for sleeping, eating, playing, and using the litter box. Another option is to visit a pet store and inquire about wall-mounted shelves for cats. These are platforms that can be attached to walls in positions suitable for both you and your cat, allowing them to climb up and observe from a high vantage point, feeling secure.

Provide your cat with a safe and explorable space. There will be times when your cat feels insecure, scared, or anxious. Offer them plenty of hiding spots, such as inside a closet or under the bed. You may know their hiding places, but don’t force them out unless absolutely necessary. Ensure your cat has access to elevated areas (like window sills, furniture, or tall scratching posts) and toys when they’re bored and want to explore or play.

• It’s crucial to have a safe, stable space ready as soon as your cat arrives home. If trying to win over a new cat, keep them in a single room where they can familiarize themselves with their territory without feeling overwhelmed.
• Place the litter box in a corner of the room (away from noisy appliances like dryers), and ensure your cat feels protected while using it (the two walls forming the corner will provide a sense of security).

Provide food and water. Regularly feed your cat to help them understand that you are their provider of food and shelter. When placing food down, speak softly to your cat, almost like singing, so they recognize your voice and associate it with positive experiences, like mealtime. When your cat comes to eat, step back and give them space. If you want to stay nearby, sit on the floor to avoid towering over them, which can be intimidating.

• Ensure your cat has easy access to water and food. If your cat is shy, place food and water dishes near their hiding spot to reduce stress and trauma when they come out to eat or drink.

Help your cat relax. Your cat may struggle to relax and feel calm in a new environment. Consider purchasing synthetic feline pheromone products (like Feliway) to spray in the room. These mimic the natural chemicals mother cats release to soothe their kittens, making them feel safe. Pheromones can reduce stress and help your cat settle in faster.

• You can also help your cat get used to your scent. This helps them recognize you during physical interactions. For example, let your cat sleep with a few old t-shirts that carry your scent.

Create a positive atmosphere. A cat may still feel fearful of its surroundings, no matter how cozy they are. This is common for cats that have been abused or abandoned. Never scold your cat for misbehaving. They might simply be exploring their new environment. Instead, use a calm, gentle voice to praise them for good behavior.

• If your cat seems panicked, ensure you’re not contributing to their fear. Avoid sneaking up on them or making sudden movements they don’t expect. Abused cats tend to startle easily when surprised.

Observe signs that your cat is ready to interact. Always let the cat approach you first, rather than you initiating contact. If you notice clear signs of stress or the cat is intently watching you (standing still, tail raised, dilated pupils), do nothing. Sit quietly, preferably with your eyes closed. This makes you appear less threatening, and the cat will gradually get used to your presence. On the other hand, if the cat is ready to interact, they will:

• Appear in your line of sight instead of hiding
• Take a few steps toward you
• Sit near you and groom themselves (showing relaxation)
• Sit with their back turned to you (showing trust)

Show that you are harmless. There are several ways to demonstrate that you are not a threat and make the cat feel at ease. Lie down if there’s enough space. This brings you to the cat’s level rather than towering over them. Avoid direct eye contact, as it can be seen as a challenge or threat in cat language. Instead, look away.

• If you wear glasses, consider removing them, as the lenses can appear like large eyes to a cat, which might seem intimidating.

Let the cat control the interaction. Don’t feel pressured to rush the process. Eventually, the cat will trust you and start approaching you. When this happens, the cat may voluntarily rub their head against your hand or body. This rubbing action leaves their scent on you, signaling that they’ve accepted you.

• You can encourage the cat to come closer by using tasty treats. Place your hand on the floor and scatter a few treats around. Let the cat gather the courage to approach and eat them. Gradually, you can place the treats closer to you, allowing the cat to eat without feeling threatened.

Create a positive environment for your cat and other pets. Allow them to play and eat together. Of course, this is a gradual process that starts with keeping them at a distance and slowly bringing them closer each day. Having an extra pair of hands to assist you during this process can be helpful.

Scratch your cat’s ears and chin. If your cat signals (by rubbing their head against you) that they’re ready for interaction, gently scratch their ears or chin. Start slowly with one finger and avoid sudden movements. As the cat grows more comfortable, you can scratch their chin more confidently.

• Avoid rough play, as cats generally dislike it.

Spend time playing with your cat. When your cat starts approaching you regularly and purrs during petting, you no longer need to stay on the floor. Sit up and continue petting them. Your cat might even sit on your lap, showing they fully trust you.

• Set aside daily playtime in your schedule. This strengthens your bond and gives your cat something to look forward to. Studies have shown health benefits for humans (like lower cholesterol, reduced blood pressure, and decreased anxiety) from petting and interacting with pets.

Recognize signs that your cat needs space. This is especially important if your cat has a history of abuse or neglect. Be cautious when petting, as your cat might suddenly bite. This, along with unexpected scratching, indicates they’re overwhelmed by physical contact or cuddling. Give your cat time alone to calm down, as they’re also surprised. Next time, avoid petting them for too long.

• Never punish your cat by yelling or hitting. They won’t understand why they’re being hurt. Instead, walk away for a while.

Ensure your cat gets enough exercise and playtime. If your cat tries to scratch or bite you, it’s likely because they have excess energy. Play with your cat at least once a day. The best time is before bedtime, as it helps them burn off energy and associate this time with feeling tired and going to sleep when you do.

• If your cat misbehaves, ignore the behavior and walk away. Punishing your cat will only associate your presence with violence, making them anxious around you. To prevent repeated misbehavior, try to understand the reason behind their actions and work on changing that behavior.
• Learn how to hold your cat properly to make them feel more comfortable. Wait until your cat is completely at ease before picking them up, ensuring all the trust-building efforts aren’t wasted.
• When your cat is comfortable enough to let you pet them, never reach from above. Start at their eye level. Keep your hand low, stroke their chin, and let them lower their head if they choose. Avoid moving your hand over their head, as they might associate it with threats like birds and scratch you. Keep your hand around their head until they’re fully relaxed. If you pet their body and they react aggressively, such as hissing, it might not just be discomfort. There could be an underlying physical issue causing pain in that area.
• If your cat snuggles up to you during fireworks or loud celebrations, comfort them. The loud noises and bright flashes likely scare them. Whenever fireworks are expected, stay close to reassure your cat. Also, keep them indoors, especially if they don’t fully trust you yet and might not return.