How to Make a Narcissist Completely Obsessed with You

If they’re fixated on appearances, grab their attention by looking your absolute best. Narcissistic individuals often enjoy being seen with someone who takes pride in their own appearance. To make this person really obsess over you, aim to look just as good as or better than they do. Put extra effort into your wardrobe and maintain a polished look.

• Always present yourself at your best, no matter how casual the event. They'll notice you always look attractive, which will make them want to be seen with you.
• If you can, match their style. Opt for outfits that complement their personal aesthetic, whether through color coordination or shared styles.

Keep them guessing so they’ll want to pursue you. To grab their attention, be playful and flirty to show your interest. You might laugh at their jokes, touch their arm, or flash a big smile. Appear excited to spend time with them. Once they enjoy your attention, begin pulling away. They’ll start craving your presence, prompting them to reach out to you.

• Though ignoring them might seem harsh, they may grow even more attracted to you because you're not always at their beck and call.

If their ego is fragile, they’ll yearn for your validation. Some individuals seem to possess an overwhelming sense of self-worth, yet secretly struggle with deep insecurity, making them drawn to confident people. The key to attracting this type is walking into a room with your head held high, capturing everyone's attention. They’ll seek your approval and admiration.

• For some, confident people are seen as a challenge. Your target might attempt to break your confidence by flattering you first, only to reject you later. Stay strong and don’t fall for this tactic.

Show off your status or influence to make them desire you. Sadly, some people view others as beneath them. To keep them interested, remind them of your worth. Whether it's a prestigious job, a broad social circle, or a special talent that makes you highly desirable, keep them thinking you're a valuable catch. The more they believe you’re in high demand, the more obsessed they'll become with keeping your attention.

• Extremely vain individuals often feel validated by having someone exceptional or talented vying for their affection.

Allow them to feel stronger or more capable than you in some way. People with inflated egos need to feel important, or they’ll lose interest. They’ll feel thrilled if they think they’ve earned your attention by making you chase them a little. They're more likely to stay engaged if they believe they’ve contributed to your life in some way.

• For example, if you're at a bar and someone’s hitting on you but you're not interested, a person like this would love to swoop in and ‘rescue’ you. It feeds their ego and keeps them hooked.
• To encourage them to chase you, turn them down a few times when they ask you out, then accept the invitation later, making them feel like they’ve earned your attention.

Show them that you have your own life, so they'll want to be part of it. If they sense you're sharing your time and energy with other people, they'll likely become jealous or protective. Make it a point to spend time with other friends or engage in personal hobbies, and let them know about it. By doing so, they'll see you're not fully invested in the relationship, making you seem like a challenge.

• Be cautious of controlling behavior. It's never acceptable for them to restrict your interactions with friends or family.
• If you're trying to maintain a serious relationship with someone overly vain, they may lose interest when things become predictable. By avoiding a routine, you'll ensure they keep seeking your approval and attention.

They may lose interest if they sense you like them too much. So, keep your admiration to yourself. If you start showering them with praise, they’ll start taking you for granted.

• They might try to fish for compliments. For instance, if they compliment your appearance, don’t return the favor. Instead, reply playfully with something like, "Thanks, I know I look amazing."

They want you to care, so play it distant. People with big egos love to have their vanity stroked. They crave your love and attention because it boosts their sense of importance. By withholding your emotions, you’ll drive them wild.

• Those who struggle with empathy or suffer from deep insecurities may respond more strongly to emotional distance than to overt declarations of affection.

If they thrive on chaos, stir up some drama to draw them in. When you do spend time with them, make sure to be unpredictable, thrilling, or even confrontational. People who love drama are attracted to individuals who keep them on their toes, especially if they’re the center of attention.

• For example, you could pick a minor fight with them—maybe because they were late to something. Call them out on it! They'll enjoy that you noticed and that you seemed upset.

Narcissists prefer to call the shots in a breakup, as it gives them the upper hand. To make them suffer, reel them in—and then break things off. Ideally, you’d do it while they're still showering you with affection during the ‘love-bombing’ phase. They’ll obsess over why you left and try to figure out how to win you back.

• This approach can be pretty petty and unkind, and even if they’ve hurt you first, seeking revenge may not give you the satisfaction you expect.
• The healthiest way to truly get over them is to maintain no contact and focus on making positive changes in your life, so you can move on.

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