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Being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder will never be easy. If you're healing and moving forward, it's natural to feel hurt and wish you could make the narcissist regret losing you. You may even want to show them that you are thriving without them. Regardless of the reason, you are probably wondering how to make them feel the loss. In this article, we will help you manage your emotions while showing the narcissist what they lost.
Steps
Cut all communication with that person.
Leave them and cut off communication to signal that you are done with them. No contact is the most effective way to deal with a narcissist, even though they may try to reach out and get your attention. To avoid being swayed and managing the stress of ignoring a narcissist, remind yourself to practice deep breathing exercises and relaxation. Stress-relieving techniques like mindfulness meditation or journaling can also be helpful.
- If you have children together or work in the same place, it may not be possible to sever all contact. In that case, try to only meet when discussing child care or only talk about work matters in the workplace.
Don't let them affect you and focus on your own life.
Channel your energy towards yourself to forget and move on. Don't let the narcissist feel triumphant when they see you lonely or upset – they will feel like they still have control over you. If they call or text, ignore them. If you can't ignore them, you can tell them you're busy with something else.
- Tell the narcissist that you can't talk or meet because you're too busy, for example, you've always wanted to learn pottery, study martial arts, or travel more.
- Perhaps you have dreams that were once delayed? Now is the perfect time to make positive changes in your life, so don't hesitate to take action.
Spend time with your support network.
You will feel stronger when surrounded by people who respect you. This will show the narcissist that others value you. With the support of those around you, you'll begin to realize that you're ready to move on with your life, regardless of what the narcissist thinks about you.
- If you find it difficult to talk to friends or family about the narcissist in your life, consider joining an online support group.
Understand that a person with narcissistic personality disorder will not feel regret.
Accept the reality that you cannot make a narcissist feel anything. Be strong and move on because, in reality, they don't miss you – they only miss what they could take from you. Unfortunately, those with narcissistic personality disorder don't understand what true love is. You deserve so much better! Just imagine how happy you will be when you find someone who truly values you.
- They will also not regret how they treated you, as they will surely find ways to justify their actions.
Resist the urge for revenge.
You cannot control a narcissist, so stay rational and calm. It’s understandable why you'd want to hurt them as they hurt you, but remember, narcissists are very skilled at using tricks to get what they want. You should be content that the relationship is over, and focus on your own happiness.
- A narcissist will only become more intrigued if you show contempt, hurt them, or expose them. They crave the attention and emotional energy you provided. In fact, walking away from them is something they can't control.
Give yourself permission to grieve and cry.
Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you are going through. When you realize you’ve loved a narcissist, you might blame yourself for putting up with it for so long. You might feel confused, sad, or angry – all of these feelings are completely natural, and you can't expect them to just disappear. You can engage in activities that help you reflect and process what you've been through.
- Try journaling, meditation, or yoga. When you attend classes weekly, you’ll also have the chance to connect with others and heal your wounds.
Biết ơn vì mối quan hệ đã chấm dứt.
Lúc này có lẽ bạn khó mà vui được, nhưng hãy tự nhủ rằng bạn đang có khởi đầu tốt. Có thể bạn đã trải qua nhiều buồn phiền khi ở bên cạnh một người ái kỷ - có lẽ họ đã khiến bạn cảm thấy mình kém quan trọng, kém đặc biệt hoặc kém khả năng hơn họ. Bạn nên vui vì từ bây giờ bạn sẽ không còn bị một người thiếu tôn trọng hạ thấp nữa. Hãy lặp đi lặp lại những lời khẳng định tích cực như “Quan trọng là mình cảm thấy hạnh phúc” và “Mình xứng đáng được yêu thương.”
- Làm những việc có thể giúp bạn nguôi ngoai, chẳng hạn như làm vườn, chạy bộ cùng với một người bạn hoặc học lớp võ thuật.
- Nếu người rối loạn nhân cách ái kỷ có cảm giác gần như hối hận thì đó là họ nuối tiếc vì đã mất đi quyền lực của họ với bạn.
Chia sẻ những niềm vui và thử thách với những người biết lắng nghe.
Chia sẻ buồn vui với những người thực sự quan tâm đến bạn. Đừng để cho người ái kỷ biết về những vấn đề cảm xúc của bạn, vì họ sẽ lợi dụng sự căng thẳng của bạn để cảm thấy bản thân họ tốt hơn. Thay vào đó, hãy chia sẻ những khó khăn và ăn mừng thành công với những người bạn và người thân biết đồng cảm với bạn.
- Có thể bạn muốn khoe những điều tốt đẹp mà bạn có để người ái kỷ kia biết, nhưng tốt nhất là hãy phớt lờ họ đi. Ví dụ như khi bạn tìm được một công việc đáng mơ ước, hãy ra ngoài ăn mừng cùng bạn bè thay vì nói với người ái kỷ.
Vui sống và đừng lo nghĩ.
Stop wasting your time and energy worrying about what that narcissistic person thinks. You will never truly be free from them until you can live peacefully without caring about their opinions of your actions. Remember, you no longer need to try to please or impress them. You will feel an immense sense of freedom.
- Most narcissistic individuals will move on with their lives without any regret for the relationships they've left behind.
Seek the help of a therapist if you find yourself struggling.
A therapist can help you recover. Dealing with a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely challenging. You might constantly tell yourself to move on, but sometimes it's hard to break free from your emotions towards them. Therapy can be beneficial if you're trying to get over negative feelings, address feelings of low self-worth, or want to learn coping skills.
- A therapist may recommend group therapy, where you can talk to others who are going through similar experiences.
