How to make a narcissist suffer: 12 things they can't stand

Dealing with a narcissist is challenging, and interactions with them often leave you feeling frustrated or stressed. Generally, narcissists are unwilling to change their behavior, but by exploiting aspects of their personality against them, you can make them very uncomfortable and upset. Read this article to learn how to target a narcissist's weaknesses and make them suffer whenever you encounter them.

Narcissists crave attention, whether it's positive or negative. They will get nothing from you if you ignore them, and they can't tolerate this. Ignore their messages, don't answer their calls, and avoid speaking to them when you cross paths. You’ll notice a narcissist becoming increasingly angry as you continue to disregard them.

• Want to end a relationship with a narcissist in your life? Cut off contact by blocking their phone number and social media accounts.

Narcissists want to be treated as though they are superior to others. You can make them extremely frustrated by treating them like everyone else. Don't over-praise them, don't respond to their comments, and choose neutral responses when talking to them.

• If they brag about an achievement, say things like "Oh, that's nice" or "Good for you."
• You can also compare them to someone else. If they tell you about something they've done at work, you could say "Oh, yeah, Mr. Hung told me something similar. He does the same job."

Narcissists dislike seeing others succeed. In general, narcissists believe that only they deserve happiness in this world, as they think their reality is unique. If you're feeling happy, express your joy to make the narcissist irritated.

• "Did I tell you I got promoted? I even got a raise!"
• "My team won big last weekend. We're heading straight for the championship!"
• "I'm so happy I aced this semester. I got a 9.5!"

Narcissists find it difficult to argue against clear, cold truths. When you present facts to a narcissist, they find it hard to dispute them. Narcissists love proving you wrong and belittling you. However, when you present them with undeniable truths, they can't do this to you.

• “Can we talk about what you told me last time? I’ll show you the messages to remind you exactly what you said.”
• “Do you remember you promised to go to that person's house today? Here, I have the email you sent them last week.”

A narcissist can’t control you if you maintain firm boundaries. Narcissists want you to loosen your boundaries so they can control you more easily. Make your boundaries clear with them and impose realistic consequences if they overstep.

• “If you keep yelling at me, I’ll leave.”
• “You’re being disrespectful to me. We’ll continue this conversation when you’ve calmed down.”
• “If you keep snapping at me in public, I won’t go shopping with you anymore.”

Narcissists want you to obey their commands. By refusing a narcissist’s request, you break the illusion that they control the world. The next time they ask you to do something, try saying “no” to them. Be aware that this will anger them.

• Narcissists act this way because they believe they are superior to you. Standing up for yourself directly challenges their self-image.
• Be cautious using this tactic if the narcissist in your life is abusive. Confronting such a person could be dangerous, and your safety should always come first.

Narcissists hate being tied down because it makes them feel like they have no control. However, they also don’t want to lose you, as doing so would mean losing control over you. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, one effective way to unsettle them is by demanding a commitment. You could even issue an ultimatum to add more pressure.

• “I want a committed relationship with just you. If things are still the same by next month, I’ll leave.”
• “We’ve been dating for a while now, don’t you think it’s time we talk about marriage?”

If there’s one thing narcissists truly despise, it’s being told what to do. When you force them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it feels like a nightmare to them. Find ways to make a narcissist answer to someone with authority to make them feel uncomfortable.

• Try signing them up as an assistant coach for your kids’ sports team. Since they’re not the head coach, they’ll have to report to someone else.
• Alternatively, you could sign them up for a hobby group where they only have basic knowledge. When they’re surrounded by real experts, the narcissist won’t be able to boast or lie about their skills.

Narcissists want to be admired by everyone around them. When you expose them in front of others, their polished image begins to crack. If you really want to hurt a narcissist, point out something embarrassing about them in front of an audience. Even if it's something minor to you, it will have a strong impact on them.

• "Oh no! Did you just trip and fall down the stairs? I'm glad no one saw it – oh wait, it seems like everyone saw that!"
• "Wait a second, you said Liverpool won the Champions League this year? That's wrong – it was Real Madrid. I thought you knew football well, but apparently not!"

Shattering the narcissist's self-image to make them suffer. Narcissists can't stand it when others point out their failures. It could be something major like not getting a promotion at work or something minor like forgetting to buy milk. Highlight these issues to make them feel genuinely uncomfortable.

• "You forgot to buy milk again? I knew I couldn’t rely on you."
• "I guess you didn't win that writing competition, huh? That's so disappointing."
• "You didn’t get promoted? I’m so sorry. I bet that really hurt you."

Let the narcissist know you're not falling for their tricks to make them angry. Don’t fall into the trap when you notice they’re trying to manipulate you. Expose their intentions and let them know it won’t work on you.

• "Are you trying to trick me? It's not going to work."
• "Why are you being so nice to me? What do you want?"
• "Yelling might work on others, but not on me. I'm not scared of you."

Narcissists want you to prioritize their demands over your own needs. To really upset a narcissist, start loving and respecting yourself more. Put your needs first and make it clear to them—don’t disregard your own desires just to please them.

• “Sorry, I can't help today. I have an appointment I can't cancel.”
• “I wish I could assist, but I’m taking the day off to relax. I’ll talk to you later!”

• Making a narcissist suffer is dangerous, especially if they’ve previously abused you. Always ensure your safety and call authorities if you feel threatened.