Buzz
Are you facing challenges adjusting to a new school? Everything seems unfamiliar, and you might even struggle to find your way to the classrooms. Making new friends can be difficult too, especially when it feels like everyone already has their own groups. But don't give up just yet; you'll soon adapt to your new environment! Finding confidence, being friendly, and integrating with others will make it easier to form connections.
Steps
Find Confidence
Take a deep breath and relax. Don't worry too much. Remember, you're not the only one looking to make new friends. Depending on when you join, many people may have already formed their groups, but there are still others like you who are searching for new friends. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You might have fewer friends than you did at your old school, but that's okay. Life is constantly changing, and so are social relationships—it's not your fault.
Be Yourself. Never lose your true self just to fit in. If someone doesn't accept the real you, they're not a true friend. Most people belong to a group simply because they share similar traits and interests that naturally align.
Wear what you love. Clothing greatly affects your image and confidence. Instead of trying to dress to impress others, wear something that feels right to you. It will show others a part of your personality, but more importantly, you'll feel comfortable in the outfit that suits you best.
Visualize your goal. As you build confidence, it's important to change your mindset. Instead of worrying about not finding friends, imagine yourself succeeding and meeting new people. Celebrate small wins, like striking up a conversation with a stranger and enjoying it.
Spend some time reflecting on your self-worth. It's easier to make friends when you see yourself as a valuable friend. Write down your strengths and keep them somewhere visible to remind yourself whenever you feel unsure.
Show a friendly attitude
Smile. A smile makes you appear more approachable. As you walk down the hall, don’t clutch your bag tightly in front of you or stare at the floor. Lift your head and make eye contact with people. When you see someone you know, smile and say hello.
Ask questions. Of course, you'll want to introduce yourself and share a little about yourself when meeting someone new. However, if you ask questions, people will feel that you care about them, and that’s a sign of being a good friend.
- You can start a conversation with a question like "Is the food at the cafeteria good?" or "How long have you been at this school?"
- Use questions to compliment people when starting a chat: “I love your shoes. Where did you get them?”
Do good things for others. Hold the door for someone. Greet acquaintances in the hall. Congratulate others on their achievements. Give compliments like, “I like your shoes/backpack.” This approach works wonders.
Don't force it. No matter how friendly and kind you try to be, not everyone will want to be friends with you. They have their own reasons, maybe they simply don’t share the same interests. If you sense that someone isn’t interested in being friends, or if they directly tell you so, don’t chase them. You can’t force someone to be your friend.
Blend in
Take the initiative to make new friends. Whether it’s near the lockers or the water fountain, you’ll always find someone with common interests, as long as you know how to approach them. Start a conversation, smile, give a compliment, and of course, introduce yourself so they know where you're from! You never know when you’ll meet a good friend, right?
- Being new, people will be curious and more willing to talk to you. Use this to your advantage!
Join after-school activities, like clubs or games. It doesn’t matter if it’s a club, a performing arts team, or a sports team; what matters is that through these activities, you’ll have the opportunity to meet new people you’ll see often, and this helps you form new friendships. Additionally, participating in extracurriculars means you’ll more easily find friends who share similar interests.
- This is also your chance to try something new that you may never have thought of at your old school. Moving to a new school is a great opportunity for self-discovery, so don’t be afraid to try new things!
Ashley Pritchard, MA
Master’s Degree, School Counselor, Caldwell University
Master’s Degree, School Counselor, Caldwell University
Expert Advice: Extracurricular activities are an excellent way to connect with people who share your interests. If you were involved in activities at your old school, ask your teachers or peers if there are similar groups at your new school that you can join.
Look for other new students. You’re probably not the only new student, and at least you have something in common: both of you are in an unfamiliar environment. Since you’re both newcomers, making friends shouldn’t be too difficult. Talk about your old school, share your thoughts about the new one, discuss the classes, teachers, and you’ll surely find common ground to connect over.
Try to sit in the middle of the classroom. Sitting in the middle will make you more noticeable than sitting at the front or back. It will be easier to strike up conversations with your classmates and you'll have more chances to partner with others for group projects.
Be patient. You don’t need to make friends on your very first day at a new school. Building friendships takes time, and you also need to find someone you truly connect with. As long as you don’t give up, you’ll definitely make good friends eventually.
Advice
- Don’t listen to rumors or gossip about others. Get to know them yourself and discover their true character instead of believing what others say.
- If you remember the name of someone you’ve just met, that’s great as it shows you care. But if you forget their name, don’t worry. Just politely ask again and try to remember it next time.
- Start conversations about common interests, or ask classmates small things like borrowing a notebook or directions to a classroom. It’s that simple.
- After making friends with one person, try getting to know their friends as well.
- When seeking friends, make sure to choose kind people who share common values with you. Don’t just befriend someone because they are wealthy or for any other reason. To lead a happy life, you’ll need a real friend, a strong, lasting friendship.
- Don’t just barge into a group; introduce yourself gradually. Hopefully, they will invite you to join!
- If you see someone being bullied, stand up for them! Proving yourself to be trustworthy is valuable, and one day they might stand up for you as well!
- Look for someone sitting alone at lunch and approach them to chat. Pushing your way into an established group can come across as rude and annoying, while someone sitting alone has nothing else to do but talk. If you’re interested in a group, you can invite them over after school or ask for their phone number. Just don’t seem too needy.
- Humor is a great asset. You can crack jokes, but remember to avoid crude humor that puts others down. That’s not the way to make friends.
- If you’re too shy to ask someone to join a weekend activity, simply attend a sports event. People will see that you're fun to hang out with, and they might even invite you to another event later.
- If you're feeling troubled or down, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A word of advice from someone else not only comforts you but can also boost your confidence and improve your social skills.
- Teachers or school counselors would be happy to introduce you to other classmates.
- Ask your older siblings how they made friends.
Warning
- Stay connected with your family and old friends. It might also be a good idea to make some new friends outside of school so you have someone to chat with.
