How to Make Friends Online

Browse the website first. When joining an online community, it’s best to explore the site or “lurk” (skim through) forums, comments, and message boards. Just like entering a social event, you’ll want to get a feel for the environment and how people interact. By reading comments, you can determine if these are people you’d like to build relationships with.

• Some online communities require registration before you can read message boards or comments. You can research the site by checking reviews or exploring its features to see if it aligns with your personality.

Identify users who share your interests. Once you’ve registered on a website, it’s time to search for users you think could become good friends. The easiest place to start is by identifying people with similar hobbies. If you notice a comment where someone expresses their love for soccer and baking, and you share those interests, you might try building a friendship with them.

• You can contact them immediately using the website’s features (like clicking their username to open a chat window or selecting “new message” next to their name).
• You can also save their username somewhere on your computer (or write it down) to message them when you feel more comfortable.

Choose a username. Even if you plan to join multiple websites—meaning you’ll need to create several accounts—it’s helpful to keep them consistent. Creating a username you can use across platforms is beneficial. You might need to tweak it slightly for different sites, but a similar name will help avoid confusion.

• If a site already has a user with your chosen name, adding numbers, words, or special characters can make it unique. For example, if ‘hoanganh’ is taken, ‘hoang_anh’ might still be available.
• Use different passwords for each site to protect your identity.
• Create a file on your computer (like Word or Excel) to save all your usernames and passwords, so you don’t have to reset them frequently.

Engage in conversations. Besides sending private messages (PMs) to users you connect with, you can start commenting on their existing posts. This way, others will notice your interests and might reach out to you first.

• Offer thoughtful, unbiased comments to gain support from regular contributors. Jumping in with strong opinions or judgments might divide people and harm your reputation on the site.

Introduce yourself. Some online communities have dedicated introduction boards. You can write a short paragraph sharing your name, location (city or region, not specific details), age, gender, and a few hobbies. This information helps others connect with you. For example, users from the same city or age group might be eager to reach out.

• You can also search for users with similar interests by browsing the introduction board.

Create a group based on your interests. If you want to build relationships with users who share specific hobbies but want to avoid the biases of existing boards, starting your own group or board is a great solution. You can attract others to join by mentioning it in related posts.

Play games. An easy way to make friends is by playing online games. Nowadays, many online games include voice chat features, allowing you to play and chat with other users simultaneously. You can build relationships through verbal communication rather than just text in games like Minecraft, Call of Duty, etc.

• Since you can join a team in the game, this often fosters stronger bonds as everyone works together toward a common goal.
• Be aware that starting your own group and recruiting members can create rivalry in the game, so wait until others are excited and willing to join before forming your own team.

Use standard writing techniques. Maintaining proper typing etiquette makes people appreciate you more, as this standard is widely accepted, even internationally. Writing in all caps, mixing uppercase and lowercase, or using stylized fonts can be hard to read and make you seem boastful or lacking if no one else does it.

• This behavior can make you appear attention-seeking, and whether online or in person, it often leads to the same result: pushing others away. It suggests you lack self-awareness.
• Avoid using “internet slang” like substituting words with unusual spellings (e.g., fá káck instead of “phá cách”) as it can seem unprofessional or lazy, and it makes reading harder for others.

Stay kind and polite. In your comments, avoid bias or rudeness. While you can express yourself, jumping into conversations with endless rambling can push people away, especially if they disagree. Instead, maintain a polite and kind demeanor—this prevents division in conversations and losing friends before you even start.

• Save personal opinions for one-on-one conversations with like-minded individuals or dedicated debate forums.
• Avoid personal attacks. Online spaces require the same respect as real-life interactions. It’s easy to forget this online, where you can’t see others’ body language.

Ask questions. To get to know others, show genuine interest in their lives, just as you would in real life. Demonstrate curiosity by asking appropriate, non-awkward questions. You’ll notice the other person will likely ask you questions in return.

• As in real life, listening is key to building online friendships.
• Be open about your life when others ask you questions, as being reserved will push most people away. Friendship requires a give-and-take process.

Exchange email addresses. Once you’ve established a solid relationship with someone and feel the friendship is secure, you’ll want to exchange email addresses. This is especially useful if you won’t be able to contact them (except via email) while traveling.

Maintain open communication. Just like in real life, you need to communicate regularly to keep the friendship alive. This means replying to messages, posts, and asking questions or checking in on the other person before they ask you. This process is known as pursuing the friendship.

• Respond to messages promptly. If you wait days or weeks to reply, you risk losing the online friendship, as it makes you seem uninterested or too busy.

Comment regularly. Beyond sending private messages (PMs) frequently, commenting on forums and discussion threads helps you stay updated on your friends’ activities. It also helps maintain your reputation with them so they don’t forget you.

• Tag others in your comments to include them, share ideas, and encourage conversation.

Consider phone calls. If your friendship is going well and you’re confident the person isn’t harmful, you might want to think about talking on the phone. While this form of communication is common in many online games, it’s less typical on other websites. Phone calls are enjoyable because they allow instant conversation, deepening your bond.

• Think about meeting in person, but only after you’ve spoken on the phone or via video to verify their identity. Take your time before arranging an in-person meeting.
• Both phone calls and face-to-face meetings are normal parts of dating websites.

Handle conflicts. Conflicts with online friends are inevitable, just like in real life. And as in real life, you need to address them to avoid damaging your reputation. You can request a PM or a phone/video call to resolve the issue, rather than trying to settle it on a public forum or through slow email exchanges.

• It’s best to take time to calm down before addressing conflicts with online friends, and discuss the situation with others to gain deeper insights.

Trust your instincts. You can often sense when an online interaction becomes unsafe by paying attention to the other person’s behavior. If they frequently pressure you to share personal information, payment details, or your exact address, these are red flags. You might also notice when someone is lying about their identity through how they discuss their job or educational background, especially if you’re familiar with it.

• For example, if someone claims to be 16 but uses vocabulary typical of a college student, or if they say they’re from the UK but use American phrases.
• Exit the conversation if you feel uncomfortable. There’s no rule saying you can’t close the chat window or delete an email without explanation. It’s wise to do so if you feel even slightly uneasy.

Take age seriously. While many people lie about their age to access certain websites or deceive others for personal gain, many are honest about their age. Try your best to build friendships with people your own age to avoid being encouraged into age-inappropriate activities.

• For example, if you’re 16 and chatting online with someone who claims to be 25, the older person might discuss illegal activities for your age, like smoking or drinking. Talking about such topics might tempt you to try them to impress your friend, but this is unwise and could lead to serious consequences.

Never share specific location details. While it’s fine to mention your school, district, or city in online communities to find friends who live nearby or have visited, never share your exact address. This is a basic rule to prevent accidentally revealing your location to someone with ill intentions.

• Ensure external websites don’t display your address, so others can’t search your name online and find where you live.
• Set your profile to private so you don’t accidentally share contact information with anyone.

Create an ambiguous username. Avoid using your real name—at least not your full name—so others can’t easily find information about you online. Instead, create a username based on a hobby or TV show you love, like soccerfan or SherlockLover.

• The same applies to your profile picture. Use an image or avatar that’s hard to identify. Avoid using real photos of yourself; instead, post pictures of nature or favorite movie characters. You can also create an online avatar for your profile picture.

Refuse to send money. If someone asks you to send money through an online community, this is a red flag indicating you’re dealing with a scammer or identity thief. Always decline to pay for anything, especially if they inquire about your card details or bank account.

• Never share payment information. You can mention PayPal, but ensure the website you’re using is legitimate, especially if they claim to represent a company or organization.
• Avoid lending money to people you meet online, as it can lead to security issues.
• Don’t reveal that you’re easily pressured into giving money, as this can lead to a cycle of being coerced into providing more funds.

Be stingy with personal information. You should never share personal details like your ID number, birthdate, or passport number, as these are often used for identity theft. Research shows that teenagers are generally good at protecting their personal information and setting their profiles to private—everyone should follow their example.

• Avoid describing your physical appearance online as well.

Be cautious about phone or video calls. If you decide to chat via phone or video, ensure the person you’re talking to is genuine and not a scammer or predator. Watch for signs like:

• Excessive focus on children in their account
• Asking about who you want to talk to
• Appearing as a respected community member
• Excessive flattery, praise, or assertiveness
• Attempting to turn you against trusted individuals like parents or spouses
• Making threats

Meet in public if you decide to meet in person. If you’ve thoroughly researched someone you met online, exchanged phone numbers, and confirmed their identity via video chat, you might consider meeting in person. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place (like a mall or café) and bring someone who can protect you, such as a parent, sibling, or older friend.

• It’s helpful if the person accompanying you knows self-defense or is skilled at identifying dangerous situations or individuals.

Use common interest websites. There are numerous websites designed for various interests, such as learning, comics, instant messaging, virtual reality, art, and more. Most of these sites feature forums where you can post comments. Additionally, some websites focus solely on message boards. Examples of such platforms include:

• DeviantArt
• VN-zoom
• VozForums
• Mytour
• Wikipedia
• Second Life
• IMVU
• Webtretho

Find friends in online classes. You can also make friends while participating in online courses. Most classes require engagement in group discussion forums, allowing you to connect with like-minded students. These forums often enable you to email other students to chat outside of class.

• Currently, most colleges and universities offer online learning features for their courses, so you can explore your school’s website for opportunities.

Utilize social media platforms. Today, social networks like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram are household names. While most “friends” on these platforms are people users know in real life, it doesn’t mean strangers can’t connect. In fact, many teenagers report making new friends this way.

• Use dating sites like vietnamcupid and likeyou.vn. Although designed for finding romantic partners, you can also make friends with people you don’t end up dating.
• Explore friendship-focused platforms like Patook and Bumble BFF. These are structured like dating apps but cater to people seeking friendships.
• Use websites designed for children to teach them how to build healthy online friendships. Platforms like webthieunhi allow kids to connect based on safe interests like comics and TV shows.

Join the blogging world. Start a blog and promote it through social media. Once you gain readers and followers, you can comment on other blogs, which often leads to others commenting on your posts. This is a great way to connect with like-minded authors, discuss everyday life topics, and express your thoughts.

• Blogging is also becoming a popular way for many to earn extra income.
• Platforms like Blogger.com, Wordpress.com.vn, and Tumblr are reliable blogging resources.

In the U.S., you can use local meetup websites. Most major cities have MeetUp.com platforms where community members can easily find others with similar interests. These sites often focus on in-person meetups, but since they’re group-oriented, users with friends accompanying them generally stay safe.

Access gaming websites. As mentioned earlier, joining online gaming communities is an easy way to make friends. However, to play most games, you’ll need to purchase the game, subscribe to an online service, and have the necessary equipment at home. While some free games exist, they often lack quality or interaction because players don’t enjoy them.

• Typically, you’ll need a fast, high-capacity desktop computer or a gaming system like PlayStation or Xbox, along with a controller and a high-quality headset with a microphone to fully enjoy the game and make friends.

Use freelance job websites. Why not make friends while earning extra income? Many freelance platforms allow you to chat with clients and other freelancers to quickly discuss work. These conversations often turn personal, developing into friendships while you complete your tasks.

• Some platforms include vlance.vn, freelancerviet.vn, and upwork.com.