How to make her forgive you when she's upset

Alright, this time you've really messed up! Your girlfriend is mad at you, and you have no idea when she might forgive you! Should you buy her flowers? A small cake she loves? Or maybe a brand-new BMW? Even say sorry – like everyone does in the movies? Let's go through some options below, perhaps we can help you fix things.

First and foremost: apologize. An apology holds great significance – but only if it's genuine, so avoid apologies like 'I'm sorry if what I did upset someone.' Essentially, you're implying 'Wow, you're too sensitive, sorry.' Instead, say something like 'My love, I'm truly sorry for my actions. That was completely unacceptable, I have no excuses. I won't repeat this.' She may not forgive you right away, but at least you've taken responsibility for your actions and shown true regret. That means a lot more than blaming others or yourself.

Write an apology letter. Sometimes, just saying sorry isn't enough. Depending on how terrible or simple your mistake was, write a letter expressing how wrong you were, how sorry you are, and your commitment not to repeat it. Not only does it show you truly regret what happened, but it also gives her something to read over and over. You should accompany the letter with flowers. In the above example, you need to write not just one but two letters: the first letter along with a bouquet of roses (or her favorite flowers) for your girlfriend, and the second for her sister. Don't send flowers to her sister unless it's a congratulatory bouquet you would comfortably give to your mother.

Let her know how much you love and appreciate her. Apologize sincerely and let her know that you never intended to hurt her. This is a perfect opportunity to express your side and take a step back.

Give things some time to calm down. Avoid repeatedly apologizing as it might only make her angrier. Just share your side and then allow her some space. If you live together, consider going for a walk or buying her something she likes. In short, take some time apart. If you're living in a different place, go home for a while.

Reach out to her the next day. Send her an email or a message and start a small conversation. This can help steer the dialogue in the right direction regarding what happened, but you must acknowledge one important thing: you cannot entirely ignore the fact that you were wrong.

Give her time if she needs it. In fact, she may never forgive you, but all you can do is wait until she tells you directly.

• Avoid asking someone else to apologize on your behalf. Be brave and face the issue directly.
• Tell her that you love her, but only if you truly mean it.
• Sometimes, it's better not to promise to change everything because it might just make her angrier. Show her with your actions rather than empty words.
• Don't ask her friends why she's upset! This will only frustrate her more—and her friends—because if she wanted you to know, she'd have told you herself.
• Apologizing and seeking forgiveness is a natural part of life. If you're sincere and avoid making things more complicated, and if she forgives you, count yourself lucky and follow what your heart tells you.
• Listen to your girlfriend's mother for advice, if you're close to her. Sometimes, a mother's wisdom can be a lifeline. However, you should only consider this if you have a genuine relationship with her.
• Make her feel loved. Kisses, intimacy, and romantic gestures might help.
• Approach her in person. Avoid texting or calling; show her you're making a real effort.
• If her friends are also upset, it's better not to meet them. Instead, give her something thoughtful like chocolates or flowers.
• Don't apologize repeatedly throughout the day. Give her space before offering your next apology. Overdoing it will just annoy her.

• Don't just keep apologizing; after a while, it will become annoying.
• Don't rush to find out if she's forgiven you. If things are good, she'll let you know.
• Don't act recklessly, like punching walls or hurting yourself. You might think it's the only way to release your anger, but it will only make her afraid of you.
• Don't bombard her with questions, or you'll just scare her further.
• If she's forgiven you, don't keep bringing it up or repeat the mistake.
• Limit gifts like jewelry or expensive items; this isn't a moment to be memorialized.
• Tell her that you'll never hurt her again and then... don't repeat the mistake. There's a term for chronic apologizing: abuse of apology.
• Show you're upset, but don't let it consume you!
• Never tell a girl she's hot. They don't like that. Instead, tell her she's beautiful.