How to Make New Friends at School

Explore your passions. Engage in activities you love where you can meet like-minded people. Notice if someone shares your interests and seems compatible with you. Look for individuals who enjoy the same things you do and appear to be a good match.

• Do you enjoy drawing? Sign up for an art class. Visit art exhibitions. Look for people who doodle during math class.
• Perhaps you love reading? Join a book club. Attend public reading events. Find classmates carrying novels alongside their textbooks.

Look for friendly individuals. While you might want to hang out with the most popular people in school, if they don’t respect you, they aren’t true friends. Focus on finding someone who treats you well and supports you rather than chasing popularity.

• You should feel comfortable being yourself around them.
• You should enjoy spending time with them.
• You should feel supported and respected by them.

Make new friends through existing ones. If you get along well with someone, organize an event and ask them to invite their friends. Your friend might already know people who share your interests and have a similar personality.

Pay attention to their feet. This might seem counterintuitive compared to eye contact, but it’s worth considering. Studies show that a group standing in a circle with their feet pointing inward is less likely to welcome a new member, while those with feet pointing outward are more open to newcomers. Next time you observe a group chatting at an event, try this technique to gauge their openness.

Join a club or organization. Look for a club that aligns with your interests. If you’re serious about making new friends, consider stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something completely new, like an indoor sport. Find out when they meet and attend their next event to join.

• You don’t have to be great at indoor sports to participate. Basketball, volleyball, table tennis, or frisbee—all are great options. Playing sports is an excellent way to relax, stay active, and meet new people. Form a team or join an existing one as a free agent.
• Many clubs are based on hobbies. These could be school activities like joining the drama club or band, or other interests like knitting or gaming. Check with your school’s counseling office or student center for available activities.
• Academic clubs can bring like-minded students together, such as debate teams or business-related organizations like PR firms or entrepreneurship groups. Ask a mentor to guide you in the right direction.

Attend social events. Schools often provide opportunities for students to meet and interact with others. Take advantage of these activities when they occur. The more frequently you see someone, the more likely you are to become friends, simply because of regular interaction.

• Participate in school dances, movie nights, and other events.
• Cheer for your school’s sports teams alongside a group to instantly build connections.

Step out of your comfort zone. You might not realize it, but you could be isolating yourself within a protective shell. This makes it harder for others to approach you. Break your own boundaries by making small changes and stepping outside your routine.

• Take a different route to class. If you always follow the same path, you might be limiting your interactions. Try walking through different hallways to meet more people.
• Sit with new people during lunch. This gives you a chance to engage with entirely new groups.

Disconnect from electronic devices. Sometimes, we get so absorbed in technology that we overlook the people around us. Your next friend might be right in front of you.

• Take off your headphones. If you’re always wearing them while moving around school, no one can start a conversation with you.
• Put your phone down. Social media might feel like interaction, but virtual friends can’t compare to real-life connections. Simply putting your phone away and engaging with the world around you can help you make genuine friends.

Start a conversation. Make eye contact, smile, and try to appear enthusiastic and relaxed rather than nervous or shy. Talk about anything happening around you, and keep your comments positive!

• If there’s music playing, you could say, “I love this song, do you like it too?”
• Pick something tasty from your lunch and compliment the cafeteria for doing a great job today.

Join a group conversation to make new friends. You can do this in situations like sitting with a new group during lunch or being in a crowd watching a sports game. Chime in when you hear something you can comment on, but avoid dominating the conversation. Try asking questions to the whole group rather than just one person.

Compliment the other person. Everyone enjoys receiving compliments. A great and friendly way to start a conversation is to let them know you admire their style. You could praise their outfit or hairstyle.

Find common ground. Think about things many people enjoy to kick off a conversation. Try asking open-ended questions to discover shared interests.

• Ask about their favorite TV show. You might find something in common to discuss.
• Talk about trending topics on social media. If you follow online trends, chances are others do too. Ask if they’ve seen the news and what they think about it.

Make the conversation more personal. Transition from small talk to deeper topics. Use open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions. Ask who, what, when, where, and why.

• Ask who they know at the party.
• Ask what book they’re reading.
• Ask when they take their lunch break.
• Ask what they usually do on weekends.
• Ask why they chose to attend this event.

Exchange contact information. Once you’ve connected on social media, it’s better to swap phone numbers to meet in person. Share your number first before asking for theirs. Once they have your number, ask them to call or text you so you can save theirs.

• Use texting to invite your new friend to activities or discuss how you both did on a test, or if they won their game. Avoid texting too often, especially early in the friendship.
• Call them occasionally. Phone calls are becoming rarer compared to texts, making them more special. People often prefer texting, but a call can be thoughtful on special occasions like birthdays or to check in if they’ve been absent from school.

Follow up with an invitation. Once you’ve found common interests, ask if they’d like to hang out after school sometime. Choose an activity you think both of you would enjoy.

• Ask if they know any good restaurants nearby and if they’d like to grab lunch or dinner with you.
• If you both love art, consider visiting a gallery, museum, play, or concert together.
• Invite them to a movie. If you’re eager to watch a film, ask if they’d like to join you. Plan to spend time together after the movie to chat. A café is a great spot to discuss the film and anything else on your minds.

Smile. A smile is a warm invitation to others. Respond to eye contact with a smile, as everyone enjoys being around cheerful people. A simple smile can attract others to start a conversation with you.

Be approachable. Reflect on your demeanor and ask yourself if your appearance might be pushing people away. Your clothing and posture can signal whether you’re open to interaction.

• Pay attention to your body language. Looking down or away, crossing your arms, or legs can make you seem closed off, and people might hesitate to approach you.
• Wear approachable clothing. While dark or Gothic styles might attract like-minded individuals, others might see your dark attire and assume you want to be left alone. Consider wearing brighter colors. This not only makes you seem more approachable but can also positively affect your mood.

Be a good friend. Friends should make us feel happy. To have a true friend, you must give what you wish to receive. This golden rule is key to nurturing a deep and lasting friendship.

• Be there for your friends when they need you. Friendship should never be one-sided; it must benefit both parties. You need to give as much as you receive.
• Encourage your friends. Show that you believe in them and support their achievements in school and life.

Give your friends space. Avoid being overly clingy or expecting them to dedicate all their time and attention to you. Be there for them when needed and offer your support, but don’t get upset if they decline due to being busy or wanting alone time.

Take the initiative to start a conversation. Many people might also feel hesitant to approach and get to know strangers. If you notice someone new or who seems shy, take the first step to introduce yourself or show them around.

Make time for friendships. Some people are so busy that they struggle to find time for others. Schedule time with friends just like you would for other important tasks. Avoid relying on last-minute invitations. Instead, plan ahead and stick to it. This ensures you prioritize your friendships.

Overcome the fear of rejection. One of the biggest hurdles in expanding your social circle and making friends is the fear of not being accepted. Try not to take it personally if someone declines your invitation. You don’t need to be friends with everyone you meet. Be brave and put yourself out there, and eventually, you’ll find someone who truly clicks with you.

• Consider that the other person might be going through a tough time and isn’t ready to make new friends right now.
• Understand that rejection might be about them, not you.

Build self-esteem. Low self-esteem often manifests in withdrawn behavior, social resistance, and poor communication. Social situations can feel intimidating if you believe others dislike you or if you feel awkward and out of place. Challenge negative self-talk and recognize that you might be too hard on yourself.

• Others might be just as self-conscious as you are. They’re likely not judging you as much as you think, because they’re preoccupied with their own concerns.
• Don’t aim for perfection. You don’t need to be perfect; being good enough is sufficient.
• Focus on your own achievements rather than comparing yourself to others.